Distorted Chances
by yellowroses257
Summary: Who knew after only 3 years New Directions would have a reunion? Not Santana, nor did she think she'd ever have another chance with Brittany until now. It's all short lived when Santana's just getting to McKinley and loud ear piercing sirens go off AU-ish
1. Ch 1 Prologue Eat Me Up and Spit Me Out

**Hello! I've been reading Brittana for a while and thought I would give it a go. I've made the plot for the whole thing already. I'm thinking it will be around 10 chapters. This is the Prolog/Chapter 1. **

**I own nothing. If I did I would be making this season go a lot different. **

**Oh and I started this on 12/10 and I'm telling you that because it has spoilers (maybe?) up until that point. It could be considered AU but that might just be because they're all out of high school (except for Schuster.)**

**Author's Note: This is largely a love story, but it is accompanied by an adventure. Told through Santana's point of view, including flashbacks, etc. Also unbeta'd. Mistakes are all my own. Also rating is up for change if anyone thinks it should be rated M. There are swears, but nothing else until later. It will change if people think it should be M however.**

**Chapter 1: Eat Me Up and Spit Me Out (Prolog)**

_Glee Reunion!_

Those words were the first thing I noticed on my iphone. Rachel fucking Berry still signed things with a star, even if it was at the end of an email. I don't even know why I was making the stupid drive to Lima, Ohio in the first place. I didn't really want to see _any_ of the Glee kids. Not really...

_Except Brittany. _

A little voice in the back of my head kept telling me that. I was killing myself to get to this rendezvous for the one person I actually missed from high school. Mckinley was many things, but 'memorable' was not one of them. Mostly it was gross, disturbing, brutal, and shameless to one's reputation. I remember owning those hallways, thinking that it was like owning the world. I could get away with anything, not that things worked that way in the real world.

I had gotten out. Escaped being a Lima Loser. I fucking died getting the scholarships to get myself into the best school that was farthest away. Begged, practically on my knees, my Padre (father) to help pay for my education. It hadn't taken much and I never literally ended up on the floor, not that I would have actually gotten down on my knees. Mostly yelling, _screeching, _that I had done what he wanted...and he agreed to pay.

I checked the time on the dashboard of my car and wanted to kick myself in the ass.

_2:12pm_

The party, if it could be called that with so little people going, was starting at two "sharp". Berry's rant at me for being late was sure to come. It made my knuckles turn white as I tightened my grip on the wheel.

Shit like this happened to me all the time. I was always late, and not on purpose to be cool like for stupid high school parties. It was like my body clock was off. My drive had started at six thirty this morning. It took me forever to convince myself that I should just go. Even if Brittany was all over Artie or had found someone at that community college she went to at least I could talk to Puck.

Noah Puckerman.

He straightened his ass out so quick I thought he had been brainwashed at first. Joining the fucking army to pay for college? Smart move. It took brains even. Something high school Puck didn't have. Knocking up Quinn and getting the hots for Shelby? Ew. Double fucking ew. He couldn't keep his grimy fingers off girls. He was the only person I had kept up with these last few years. I only ever sent out a lame ass text on, like, Christmas, but still. Puck was cool. Better to talk to him about all the abs he got from doing pushups until his arms shat out on him than talk to Mike and Tina about making Asian babies together.

Or see Brittany and wheelz flirting. I didn't think I could take that. Especially since I haven't even texted Britt since...years ago. At least two. God I hoped she wasn't still mad. I had to do it though. Even if it was on graduation and one of the happiest days of her life (She fucking graduated with me!) I had to do it where at least one of my parents would see the immediate reaction.

I was driving like a mad bitch. I needed to get to that reunion and figure my shit out with her. I needed to see her blue, blue eyes. Nothing compared to them. _Nothing. _Not blue sky, not blue ocean, not blue bird. Birds...Ducks...If I could have gotten my hands on a blue duck then I would have stood a chance. Maybe I should have bought her a duck stuffed animal or something...anything to give to her and try to apologize.

I couldn't get anything now I was already late to-

_Fucking idiot! Stay in your fucking lane!_

I hated shitty drivers. The car next to mine tried again to jump in front of me. The fast lane was for fast people, people in a hurry, not Sunday Drivers who wanted to slow my life down.

Slow down my life like Brittany wanted...

* * *

><p><em>Blood pumps through my veins so fast. It's faster than when we won Nationals, as Cheerios or New Directions. My heart is clenching and my stomach tight. This excitement is so foreign. It's for myself but for her too. For all of us I think and tears threaten the backs of my eyes. I'm weepy already and without any alcohol! <em>

_"A big round of applause to our graduating class of 2012...!" Principal Figgins announces into the microphone. He claps but it's nothing compared to the roar of applause from the audience behind us. My eyes search for her in the mess of seniors as we all stand and some throw up their caps. I'm in a sea of red and white gowns trying to find her. _

_"Better wait for me Britts," I whisper to myself, excitement and anxiousness tossing around in my stomach, as I continue my hunt._

_"San!" _

_I turn and bolt before I even see her. In my heels it's nothing impressive. No sprint but a simple jog over to her. Keeping it graceful Lopez, you sap!_

_We're wrapped up in each other so tightly it's hard to breathe. My cheek is pressing impossibly hard against her shoulder and I'm crushing her to me with equal strength. _

_"I did it San," she whispers against my ear. "We did it. We graduated!"_

_Brittany squeals like a 13 year old boy getting his first kiss; hopping a little in my clutch. _

_"I know!" I gush into her neck. "You did it, we made it. We can get out of here now!"_

_We pull back and just stare at each other. _

_Brittany's face is pure happiness. I don't think I've seen her more pleased with herself._

_I get lost in the blue of her eyes. They convey everything, let the world know with a glance: that, yes, Brittany S. Pierce graduated with her class. She graduated with me, Santana Lopez. Best friend...more than just best friend. _

_Over her shoulder my Padre(father) is leering at me. Shit, I forgot about this part. The stupid deal we made before this morning to assure I was going to college._

_Brittany's eyes drop curiously to my shoulders. They have slumped. _

_"What's wrong?" she asks and takes a step closer to me, our ugly white gowns beginning to brush together._

_Her eyes are searching. The blue a lighter hue, something that happens when she's nervous. Her long fingers reach out to mine, automatically linking our pinkies. The feeling should bring peace but it sets my stomach over the edge. _

_"Lopez, Pierce!" someone shouts right behind me, nearly making me scream. I'm already so nervous. I don't want to make those blue eyes shed tears, but I know they will unless I tell why I'm abandoning our friendship. Puck's arm is then wrapped around my shoulders, and Brittany's, squeezing us to him. _

_"We're done with it!" he shouts, practically groaning. "Done with fucking Mckinley! Can you believe that?"_

_"It's kind of sad," Brittany muses. But then a huge smile takes over her pretty, pink lips. "But totally awesome too!"_

_Puck squeezes us tighter to him. _

_"Yeah Britt! Really awesome!"_

* * *

><p><em>"San what college are you going to?" Brittany whispers to me as we manage the crowd. Glee kids all around us are waving wildly and smiling like they're high. <em>

_"I've told you a million times Britt, it's a community college in Pennsylvania," I say softly, the nerves in my stomach making my palms sweat. "The name doesn't matter." It will only confuse you more if you try and find me. _

_"You look sad." She states it simply and her perfect brows lower making wrinkles in her forehead. _

_We are close to the bleachers now. I can see my padre standing near the top watching me. Us. There won't be an us soon. I hate him for making me do this. I _need_ this money for college though. I need the school to think..._Fuck it.

_I curl my hands into fists and try to breath deep through my nose. _

_"Britt my padre wants me to stop being friends with you."_

_There it's out. _

_Her blue eyes cloud over in confusion and start to water. _

_"I don't want to listen to him. I want to be your friend forever Brittany." I close my eyes and pray that she understands. This is all an act and I can't not do this._

_"What...what does that mean?" she whispers, her fingers nervously playing with the ends of her hair. I know she only does that when she's uncomfortable. I should kick myself for making her feel like that!_

_"...Please," I pull her hands down and hold them. "My padre won't pay for school if I do. He just needs to _think_ we're not friends anymore. Get it?"_

_She shakes her head and bits her lip. _

_"So what are you doing right now?" Her tortured stare kills me. I want to stop right here, just kiss her in front of him and make this go away. I want to know that she'll love me no matter what, even after this. _

_"Tryin' to fool him Britts. Just trying to make him think it. We can still be friends...we still are friends but I have to yell okay? And say things I really don't mean."_

_"Why can't you just tell him you want to be with me? That's what you want Santana, isn't it?" she asks and my grip on her hands slackens. My stomach turns to knots and I think I'm going to puke. _

_"Yes. Yes, that's all I want. Ever. You're everything to me. He just doesn't get that."_

_I can feel his stare on my back and shivers run up and down my spine. An alarm goes off in my head. He knows it's not real, he _knows_ it. Shit. Shit._

_"He's a stupid boy, right?" she mumbles and I just want to run away with her. From all of these people, even take her away from Lord Tubbington. Then we could be ourselves and live in some small town and she could dance and I could...what could I do?_

_"He's my dad Britt, it's different."_

_"_But I love you Santana_." _

_Her words turn my blood to ice. Dying by shank would be easier than this. _

* * *

><p>"Shit..." I mumbled. I had just entered my worst nightmare.<p>

'_Welcome to Lima, Ohio'_

What if Britt met someone? What if she wouldn't want me still?

I felt clammy and uncomfortable in my jeans and shirt.

Rachel's email said semi formal, but really how semi formal can one dress and walk into a high school?

At least the shirt was fancy...ish. If I wore my jacket it would look fine, and I fiddled with the zipper of it as I pulled into the parking lot.

The place had pretty much cleared out except for the teacher parking lot. I checked my dash board again and the time read _2:45pm_.

I shifted into park and sighed.

This is to see Britt, I told myself, gathering my thoughts. To figure out if we can work and if I can fix stupid high school mistakes.

I grabbed my phone and wrist-let and walked into the building.

* * *

><p>"Nice of you to show up Lopez!" Puck shouted and crushed me in a hug. He was wearing camo cargo pants with a white tee shirt tucked in and boots. So much for formal.<p>

"Oof...yeah well, I still have to piss Berry off somehow," I said into his shoulder. I would have hugged him back but my arms were secured at my sides in his grip.

"How's the army or whatever?" I asked after catching my breath since he released me from his clutch.

"National Guard," he said with a smile. "It's okay depending how you look at it."

He shrugged strong shoulders and crossed his arms.

"What about you? I haven't heard more than '_happy' _fucking _'holidays'_ since high school."

We were standing outside the choir room, Puck standing (strategically?) in front of the window.

"Studying..." I said trying to put up a strong front. He couldn't— no one could know that for the past three years I'd been coming up with different ways to get Brittany back.

He quirked an eyebrow at me. His mohawk was cut short against his scalp. Were mohawks allowed in the army? National Guard whatever...

"Well, I was undecided the first whole year...and then, well now, it's law."

His eyes bugged out of his head and he smiled big.

"Hah, bitch protecting society? I like it."

I rolled my eyes at him and motioned to the door.

"Is everyone in there?" _Is Brittany in there?_ That was the real question, and I hoped he couldn't figure that out.

"Yeah, everyone who responded back to that email. Minus Quinn, Kurt and Blaine, and Mercedes and Sam."

"Ugh," I hacked. "Wheelz."

"Yeah, _Artie_. Brittany and Tina can't stop laughing. Oh they're getting married by the way."

My heart stopped.

"_What?_" I screeched, my arms going limp.

"Tina and Mike..." Puck said slowly, trying to figure out why I was so shocked. I sucked in a breath and ran my hand down my face, ignoring my light make up and groaned.

"Oh...OH! Chill out, I meant the Asians. Britt still likes you. She's been whining about you."

Puck punched my arm and I grimaced.

She had been whining about me? Did she miss me, want me? A burning heat took over my whole body as I thought about her. I was embarrassed to go in there now. Puck must have seen me stiffen cause he grabbed my arm and dragged me inside.

"Get it over with quicker," he mumbled around a grin.

**Please review if you get the chance, or favorite or alert. I have part two already done so you can expect that in exactly three days, a.k.a sunday. Hope it's interesting so far. **

**xxRose**


	2. Ch 1 Eat Me Up and Spit Me Out Part 2

**Hello again! First of all I want to thank EVERYONE who took the time to review, favorite, or alert this story. I was really surprised and pleased with the response! I'm going to try really hard to keep up with the writing end of this deal. I'm updating a day early (only by a few hours...) but hopefully you will like this chapter just as much! Again I don't own anything. Enjoy :)**

**Chapter 1 Part 2: Eat Me Up and Spit Me Out**

_I can't say it back. My tongue is stuck to the roof of my mouth, I can't say _anything_. I know my padre is watching, I know Brittany is waiting, but what am I doing? I'm standing like an idiot trying to explain to my best friend that I can't see her anymore, that we can't _be_ like we used to. Like we wanted to, I wanted to. Brittany bites her lip and my fists curl. I'll try to make it quick..._

* * *

><p>"Santana!"<p>

The whole room said, the voices varying in pitches and volume.

The first thing I saw is that Berry still doesn't have a sense of fashion. She was standing right in front of me in a bright yellow dress that looked more like sack over her small body than anything. Her eyes were wide and her lips in a frown. I smirked.

"Man hands," I greeted and she gasped.

"I thought we had left that all behind in high school! Santana I cannot believe you would keep such diction with you as a young adult. I know that of all my professors not one-"

"Somethings never change" I cut her off and smirked again.

"Santana it's so good to see you!" Mr. Schue shouted and stood up to shake my hand.

There were more wrinkles on his face than I remembered. His eyes were still bright though and his hand shake firm. I smiled, actually smiled at him, and said hello.

"How's college life treating you?" he questioned once he dropped my hand.

"It's okay. Nice change of place," I mumbled as he nodded for me to continue.

"What about your major?"

"I'm studying law."

"That's great!  
>We chatted a little about his current glee club; he said a lot about how we were the kids he would never forget.<p>

"Now that we're all here," Rachel said in her authoritative tone. "We can have the toast that was supposed to happen at two _sharp_," I rolled my eyes, "but since Santana decided she had no interest in our little get together it will happen now. Finn can you get the champagne? I believe you placed it in the teacher's lounge."

Finn was still as tall and awkward as ever. He moved clumsily around the group and out the door as I scanned the rest of the room. Wheelz was talking with Mike, rolling back and forth absently in his chair...which still had lights on the wheels? _Smooth Artie. _I watched Puck walk by me, brushing my side, as he started talking with Mr. Schue. I was looking for Brittany now, but I found Tina first. She was showing off her finger to Brittany. They were sitting on the red plastic chairs on the risers.

The burn in my stomach and face returned. I quickly bent my head trying to avoid anyone seeing me blush. I peeked a glance in their direction and was met with bright blue eyes. She was starring at me but her lips were in a straight line and her hands were under her butt, like she was trying really hard to keep from playing with her hands.

"Santana come over here!" Puck shouted.

I shook my head and followed his voice over by the piano.

Get it the fuck together. She's starring at you, so what? You broke her heart...I hope I broke it. Not like that! I hope she loved me enough that when I denied her, it broke. I hoped that she loved me enough for it to be broken if I never acknowledged it...which I didn't. Pretended not to...

"So Noah when did you figure this out?" Mr. Schue questioned. "National Guard? I don't remember that being the plan when you graduated..."

I was starring at my reflection in the shiny, black top of the piano. This was the same piano that I sang Songbird to her at. The thing was so shiny I could see my eyes widening in their reflection as someone walked up behind me.

"...figured different things out after the pool..."

Bits and pieces of Schue and Puck's conversation drifted to my ears as I tried to focus on this mystery person. A pale hand came up to the surface of the piano, it was creamy white, and the fingers splayed. Please...why would she walk up to me, I didn't even say 'hello' to her. A red, Solo cup came down next to the hand and inside it was bubbling liquid. My chest squeezed as I tried to find a face in the piano, but finally I gave up when the fingers started drumming on it.

"Berry..." I hissed softly.

She gave me a scowl but then shook her head.

"A toast," she started, but I grabbed my cup and stomped over to the risers before she could continue. The champagne sloshed in my cup as I walked past Mike, who threw a hand up for a high five, but I just walked past him to the middle step. Brittany wasn't sitting next to Tina anymore, I don't know where she went. She wasn't here though. Tina plopped down to the chair next to mine and smiled raising her red cup.

I shrugged at her and eyed Rachel and Finn. Finn's hand was around her waist. I_ never_ thought that they would still be together after high school, especially with their creepy long distance relationship. Shit like that doesn't work out.

"Hey Tina," Mike said to get her attention. She looked down to him and he reached his arm back toward us.

"Honey," she sighed and smiled at him, gripping his hand tightly.

Rachel's, no doubt over the top dramatic, speech was deaf on my ears. All of the fucking love in the room was driving me crazy. Why couldn't Brittany and I have that? Oh, right. I made myself fall into this shit hole. Fucking graduation, fucking padre... College hadn't don't anything great for my life either...it was not worth it. It wasn't worth it to push her away like that.

"San?"

I froze.

Fuck, shit, damn it.

I choked on the champagne.

"Britt-! Brittany."

Her bright blue eyes looked at me curiously as I spat out my champagne.

"Santana!" Artie shouted, looking pissed.

I didn't mind that it was wheelz, but Brittany had some of my spit on her arm and she wiped at it absentmindedly.

"Can I sit?"

I nodded and frantically swiped my hands at my lips. My cheeks heated with her being so close. Three years and no contact, what-so-ever, drove people to do mad things. At least, that's what I've heard from the crappy soaps I've been watching to drown myself in my own sorrow.

She was going to say something. She had to! I'm the one who yelled. I broke our perfect world and stomped it into the dust. She was waiting for me to accept myself whether my parents liked it or not. She supported me and held me while I fucking cried into her. How could she not be angry at me?

She sat and folded one of her legs underneath herself. Her legs were covered by black leggings, but they couldn't hide the creamy white skin that covered her muscles. I licked my lips.

"How's college?" she asked softly.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Why did she have to sound so innocent? It's like she wanted to break me, make me cry and cry and get drunk off of her all over again. She swept at her blonde hair and pretended to push it back behind her ears.

"Fine," I mumbled and took a sip from my cup. It was almost empty and then I would have nothing to stunt the conversation.

"Oh. I like mine. I live at home like I planned."

I cocked an eyebrow at her.

"Since when was that the plan?" I blurted.

Her eyes looked hurt and she pouted. That damn pout that always had me saying "yes" in high school.

"Sorry."

She worried her bottom lip before saying: "Since after graduation..."

"Oh."

I took another sip of my champagne.

"I don't get why people pay money to live at college. My parents still let me stay in my room. It's fun. And this way I can make sure Lord Tubbington doesn't read my diary!"

I shrugged.

Another sip.

I could see the conflicting thoughts play through her features. Her lips tightened and her sculpted blonde brows furrowed. It almost hurt to see her forehead crinkled so much. The tips of her ears and cheeks tinted pink when I accidentally let out a sigh.

I was still so gone for her.

"Some people don't have family where they want to go to college Britts..."

"Oh."

I was nodding when my phone buzzed. I practically jumped out of the chair. It scared the shit out of me. I glanced at Brittany before unlocking the screen and reading the text.

_**From: Puckerman**_

_**Mending brkn hrts?**_

I narrowed my eyes and searched the crowd (no way in hell) for Noah Puckerman. He was still by the piano, waiting for me to look up. It was weird to see him in his camo cargo pants, white tee, and boots. I half expected to see a letterman jacket on his shoulders. He wiggled his eyebrows at me and I scoffed.

_**FUCK OFF**_

_**Message Sent**_

"Who was that?" a soft voice asked.

I turned and found Brittany staring at my hands, trying to look at my phone.

"Just a pool boy" I whispered, more to myself than her.

She blinked her big blues at me and then folded her arms.

"I miss you."

Her eyes were starring past me, like she was trying not to focus on the present, but the past.

"What?" I choked out. My drink was empty.

My head was swirling and throbbing at the same time. Was she saying that she missed our friendship or relationship? I would take either but I was still fucking in love with her. Had she moved on at one point? Had she had sex with other people? ...I hadn't. I just couldn't do it and know she was still out there.

Fucking whipped. _Still_. I didn't care though. I was passed caring anymore. I just wanted her to be mine again. I would do things better this time and not try to hide anything from anyone.

"I miss you," she said again, but this time looking at me. "San I don't care what happened at graduation."

* * *

><p><em>"Brittany!" I shout, loud enough for him to hear. "I don't want to be your friend, I don't want to <em>deal _with you anymore."_

_I see her pout and it almost stops me right there, but then I hear a grunt and I know it's him. He's watching and so are the people around us, then walking away quickly. _

_"Santana," she mumbles and tries to grab my hand. _

_"No. No! Just stop touching me." _

_Her lips is being crushed between her teeth and her eyes are watering. My joints feel stiff and my face is red. I feel tears in my eyes but I swallow them down. I see Man-hands over Brittany's shoulder and she's frowning at us. I try to focus my anger at her. _

_"I'm done taking care of you! I can't keep helping with the math, and Spanish, I _can't_!"_

_"But...I graduated..." she whimpers. _

_The tears are running down her face and my heart is in my throat, making me want to cry too. Her crystal clear blue eyes are orbs of pain and sadness and misunderstanding. I can't stop here though, it's not done yet. It's not deep enough to keep her away or look convincing. _

_"Yeah. Well so did I."_

_I try to roll my eyes but the tears make the motion sting too much. I can't even focus on anything but her face. _

_"I need college to be about me. I want to go out and do crazy shit and get a _boy_friend. Get it? I can't be around you anymore. I just can't!" I whisper the last part, my eyes burning I'm trying to keep the tears in so hard. Her face is getting drenched though. Her cheeks are pink and her mascara, water proof mascara, is actually running. She's crying that much. _

_I really hope she gets that I'm lying. I couldn't mean these words, this hate. I can' t deal with her whimpers and pouts with this many people. He's right behind us. Her face is scrunching as she tries to keep herself together. I want to say I'm sorry. I want to kiss away her worries and go to breadstix with her. I want to make this the best graduation she could have wished for. _

_I can't._

_"We weren't gonna end up being roommates for the rest of our lives," I hiss, low and menacing. "Stop dreaming and pretending and wake up. The world is fucking messed but I can't stay with you in your land of make believe. I'm fucking done. I'm-"_

_"Santana, creo que ya es tiempo de volver a casa," (Santana I think it's time we go home) my padre's voice is stern and leaves no room for an outburst. I can hear he's pleased with me for 'ending' this relationship. _

* * *

><p>"I was a total bitch," I mumbled, looking to the scuffed linoleum.<p>

Brittany giggled softly and shook her head.

"I was, like, sad for a long time...but then I thought about it. You never ever called me stupid."

I looked at her like she had three heads. I purposely never said it. I would call her a million other things before I _ever_ called her stupid.

My hair fell against my cheeks as I looked to the floor again. I couldn't watch her with that sad smile. She was radiating forgiveness and I was the one that should be begging for it. Three years and she was over something that I held on to. Maybe she moved on and that's the only reason?

"I'm sorry," I said as I sat up straight. "I never wanted to say any of those things, but like I needed to. My padre wouldn't let me get away if I didn't. He thought I was...the way I am because of you. But I'm just me."

"...to Glee Club and Mr. Schuester!"

The fuck.

Had Manhands really been _toasting_ that whole time? Brittany glanced over to Rachel and lifted the red cup I hadn't noticed she was holding. She looked back to me after a beat and I was crushing my cup between my hands.

"Do you want a sip?" she asked innocently.

I shook my head and continued to stare passed her. This all felt a little surreal. It was like the end of senior year again, toasting to Glee and Schue and figuring out Brittany all over again. I watched Brittany drink all her champagne at once and smiled when she made a face (at the "bubbles San!"). I even felt like I could reach my hand out and _link pinkies_ with her.

A question was working it's way to my tongue when Puck came over with the bottle of champagne. I scowled at him, hoping he would get the hint and leave but he just smiled bigger and nodded at Brittany.

"Rachel wants to do another toast," he explained pouring the liquid into my cup. "She wanted me to fill everyone up again."

"Red solo cup, I fill you up," Brittany hummed with a huge smile on her face.

Me and Puck both laughed with her. I forgot about that song...and Trouty Mouth.

"Artie, Mike, Tina, _champagne_?" Puck asked, doing an impression of a...wine expert? Champagne wasn't really wine, idiot.

"We all have known Mike and Tina for a long time!" Finn shouted into the would be crowd.

"I think we can use inside voices, Finn," Mr. Schue assured him. Finn looked dumbly around and nodded before glancing back at Rachel and then to the rest of us.

"Yeah, okay. So, Mike and Tina have been a thing since high school, and Rach forgot to tell everyone the news in her toast. They're both getting married! To each other!" Genius much? "We're all invited, even Santana! Ow Mr. Schue! Sorry, Santana."

I flipped him off.

"San that's not nice," Brittany scolded gently.

"He shouldn't mind" I promised and winked at her.

"Well, anyways," Finn continued. "The wedding is in...April? June, June! So let's congratulate them, guys!" Finn raised his cup and the whole room rang out in cheers and "congrats."

I sipped at my champagne and wormed my butt back into the seat more. I don't know how I survived three years siting in these things, they were fucking uncomfortable.

"Have you been dating anyone?"

It came out of the blue, but I had been thinking the exact same question only minutes ago.

I choked on my champagne and sputtered. It sprayed on the back of Wheelz's wheels. I wiped my mouth, my heart thundering, and looked to Brittany.

"Uh—ack—no," I managed through my light coughing spell. "Why? Did you, have you?"

She bit her pink lip and nodded the tiniest bit.

My heart went from my throat to my stomach.

"Like...who?"

She shrugged, suddenly quiet. Or quieter than before, anyways.

"Only..." she held out her fingers and counted out three digits. "Three other people. Two guys and a girl. But don't worry, I didn't get any sweet lady kisses from the girl. She smelled funny."

I couldn't hold back my laugh. It was deep and loud and pure relief. I was so happy she hadn't had sex with anyone, wait. The girl? What about the boys with their fucking dicks! Brittany furrowed her eyebrows and scooted her chair closer to mine. So close our knees were almost touching. I could see the flecks of gray in her blue eyes she was leaning in so close to me now.

I was afraid that she only had bad news. Why else would she get so close, but to try and keep me calm? I locked my fingers together and focused on my nail polish. It was a deep red, so burgundy that it could have been black.

"Santana..." she whispered. "I dated a guy from school and then Artie came back."

Fucking Wheelz.

"It was only for a little while but I didn't have sex with him. Just the guy before."

I clenched my jaw and forced myself to look at her.

Brittany's forehead was almost touching mine, she was leaning in so far. Her eyes weren't wet at all, not even a little bit. She wasn't pouting either. When had she grown up? Why wasn't I there to do it with her? I felt like throwing up knowing I had missed something so important in her life. She probably didn't believe in all the fairy tales she used to, or mystical creatures. She had stepped one foot into the world and it must have ate that foot, because here Brittany was, but she wasn't the Brittany I had left in high school.

"It didn't mean anything," she whispered, her breath hitting my face.

Her eyes weren't pleading. They were honest. Bright, blue, beautiful, and full of truth.

I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. She smiled at that.

"Just sex, right San? It isn't dating...but I was dating him. Nothing was the same without you."

Duh, he had a dick!

"The plumbings different," I mumbled, a little breathless.

Was she saying that she wanted to have sex with me? No, her eyes didn't say that. Maybe she really just missed me, but I couldn't allow myself to believe that. Yelling at her like that and then not apologizing until _just_ now; it was impossible to think she would want me back that fast.

She giggled and leaned away from me.

I brushed my hair back and chewed my cheek a little.

"Ladies, don't forget Puckasaurus!"

Puckerman thrust his hip between us and dropped a chair in the space he created.

"Asshole!" I groaned and drove my fist into his thigh.

"Ouch!" he hissed and then started laughing. "Mess with her lady and it brings out the _Satan_, right Mercedes?"

I hadn't even noticed Sam and Mercedes walk in through the door. Mercedes waved at us and cheered: "Damn right!"

I couldn't help smiling. The nickname was harsh, but I had been harsh, hadn't I? It fit. I think Brittany agreed with it by the way she was grinning. Her expression alone made my heart flutter.

"I'm gonna go see Sam and Cedes!" Brittany cried, nearly jumping out of her chair.

"See yah, hottie!" Puck hummed, slapping Brittany on the butt when she ran by.

She was so excited she didn't even react to it, but I hit Noah in on the knee anyways.

"Fuck," he hissed. "Lopez take it easy! I was just joking."

"Keep your hands to yourself," I said and smirked at him.

He huffed out a breath and ran his hand over the spot I had hit, twice.

As I watched Brittany with Sam and Mercedes, it made me realize maybe she hadn't grown up entirely. She was still...giddy about everything. She still had that dancer's grace and her mega-watt smile. Her eyes still lit up when ever someone said anything to her like it was Christmas morning. I could still grow up with her.

"...sucks to be mad like that."

I focused back on Puck, who had been talking to me. Oops.

"Uh, what?" I asked and turned to face him, crossing my legs.

He gave _me_ a stupid eye roll so I gave him one right back. Idiot.

"I was saying how you always look pist since grad. It sucks to be mad like that, but now it's like nothing happened that day."

He could have dug a knife into my leg. My head was swimming with the realization that people here knew and heard what I'd said to Brittany. How I screamed, and yelled, bitched, and then abandoned her.

"I don't get it either," I choked out.

I took a sip of Puck's champagne.

"You're welcome, have some of my drink."

"She said she missed me."

He nodded and took a sip from my cup.

"She said she didn't care that I yelled at her."

"You were only doing it for your dad, right?" he asked.

I nodded. My fucking padre and then the plans I made with him didn't even fall through. He gave me half of what he promised.

"I told her that before I started...but then I never said sorry and then I went to college." I was starting to ramble. "I didn't talk to her at all, or text, or call. I haven't even seen her since graduation."

I could feel my voice getting thick, my throat tightening. I tried to swallow the tears that were inching up my throat but I couldn't. I wiped furiously at them instead as Puck looked away.

"Dude, if she said it didn't matter," he started, crushing the Solo cup in his hands, "then don't think about it. You said sorry now. If she's okay...then you should be okay too."

I shook my head and tried to laugh it off. I was only going to be here for a day. One day of dealing with old feelings. Shit, now feelings, present day feelings. It didn't matter though because by the next day I would have to be focused on school again.

"Whatever," I mumbled. "What about you and Quinn and your lizard baby?"

His eyes popped out and he laughed at my question.

"Lizard baby, still? She's a pretty little princess who's four years old now."

Puck's eyes drifted to the floor. It must have hurt, not being able to see his kid because he was in the national guard. It must have been even worse because Shelby had to work out a schedule for him to see her.

"Wow. Get ready to pay for college soon," I mumbled and finished off his champagne. "What's up with Quinn, hmm?"

He laughed again and scratched at him mohawk.

"Adoptive parents get to handle college. Dumb ass. Quinn is in New York doing something with school. I don't really know, she's busy all the time. I think on Facebook she said '_it's complicated with_'."

"Fuck that shit," I breathed out. "Fabray can't handle pressure. Besides you don't see her."

"I think that's why it's complicated Santana."

It was my turn to laugh at him now. He never called me by my first name and I didn't call him by his. It was like some unspoken code. It evens sounded funny when he said it.

"Duh. Whatever, how's the National Guard? Do you like the mandatory wardrobe?"

When Puck opened his mouth he made this weird, high-pitched, squealing sound. He looked confused and then lights started flashing around the room. Big bright strobes. The squealing was loud and ear piercing. It echoed around in my head, beating on my eardrums.

I looked around the room: Brittany had her hands over her ears, Mercedes did too, Sam was looking at Mr. Schue who was shouting something at Finn, he was just smiling like an idiot, Rachel looked pissed, Artie was rolling over to Mike and Tina, they both were holding hands.

Then the lights went out and I could only see between the flashes of white light. I was pissed too.

* * *

><p><strong>Please take the time to review, favorite, or alert!<strong>

**xxRose**


	3. Ch 2 Sanctuary

**Chapter 2: Sanctuary**

"Let's go outside!" Mr. Schue shouted over the alarm. "It's just a fire drill!"

I couldn't hear the grunts and groans of the other people in the room but I could see them on their faces. Puck's face was scrunched up but he was smiling. Sam and Mercedes were the first out the door, both looking too 'happy go lucky' for my taste. It was a fucking_ alarm_ after all.

I pushed myself out of the plastic chair and held my phone and wrist-let in my right hand. Rachel was talking, still, but I couldn't hear any of her damn chatter over the squealing. The white lights hurt my eyes and I blinked a few times to try and clear my vision.

"Bang a left!" Puck roared in my ear.

I rolled my eyes at him and he wiggled his eye brows.

Fucking sixteen year old boy all over again.

I walked through the door but didn't look at Finn, who was holding it open for me. This was just fucking annoying. First my heart was racing because Brittany was going to let me back into her life, even if I only had a day to spend with her, and now a fire alarm was making my ears bleed and bones shake. I saw the end of Brittany's pretty blonde hair float around the corner of the building as I stepped outside.

_Fuck_ it was dark.

That was the first thing I noticed, besides my ears hearing the muteness of the outdoors, when I stepped outside. I quickly checked my phone and it read _6:12pm_ in white text. Talking with Brittany and Puck, mostly Brittany, duh, had made the time slip by. I actually smiled to myself knowing that.

"That was weird," Puck said once we were all grouped together like a class again.

The wind blew and it was cold against my cheeks.

"Whatever, maybe one of the _janitors_ pulled the alarm to get out of cleaning," I mumbled while rubbing my arms.

"Toughen up Lopez," Puck scolded playfully. "It's barely winter yet."

It was fucking early November. I could shiver if I wanted.

"Fuck off Puckerman."

He smirked and looked around for Sam.

"Who knew that old Samcedes shit would be a go, huh?" he asked nudging my shoulder.

"A couple name, really?"

"Yeah, you're part of Brittana, idiot."

My blood froze in my veins. First off, there was no couple so there couldn't be a name, and second who said Britt's name would be first?

"That's stupid."

Puck shrugged and walked away to find Mr. Schue.

"That hurt my ears like spiders," someone whined behind me.

I turned to find blonde hair and blue eyes not a foot away. Had she heard what Puck said? It was bullshit anyways.

"Spiders?" I asked. I hadn't been in Brittany-Land for three years. I needed to remember how to ride that bike.

Brittany nodded enthusiastically and made (what would be?) spiders with her hands making her fingers flail.

"They get stuck in your ears, duh. And then they dance on the ear wax and play on the drums like it's a club!"

"Oh-kay."

"I guess the party's over early guys!" Mr. Schue announced. "It was nice seeing all of you! I hope you'll visit tomorrow if you're still in town."

"Are you going back to college?" Brittany asked innocently.

I started walking toward my car, Brittany following me. Shit, why was she asking? Why did she care all of a sudden? I ran a hand through my hair and tried to piece myself back together.

"Not for a day or two."

She smiled at that, her eyes lighting up under the glow of the street lights.

"And you're staying at home?"

Crash landing. I was planning on sleeping in my car outside my house. I wasn't going to step a foot inside that damn house.

"Hotel..."

The lie came out easily. My lips burned like acid from it.

"But you can just stay with me!"

Her eyes were earnest. Why the hell was I so whipped? Lopez...break the fucking act.

"We still have the guest room, my parents won't mind. San, _please_?"

I think I fell in love with her little more after that. She didn't ask or even hint about why I wasn't staying at my house, with my padres (parents).

* * *

><p>I was driving. Puck was cranking up my radio way too loud, like he <em>wanted<em> to break my speakers. Brittany, who was trying to stay attached to my hip, I swear, was sitting in the back seat.

I had slept at Britt's house, in a guest bedroom that I should have been used to. Except every time I was supposed to be in that room I had snuck into Britt's and we always got our mack on. Being in that room game me shivers, and I god damn think I would have gotten a better sleep in my fucking car. With no heat and no pillow.

* * *

><p><em>"Night Britt-Britt," I yell down the hall of the Pierce house. <em>

_Somehow Brittany convinced her parents to let me stay over the night before exams. Exams suck dick. So her parents want us to "get a good night's rest" and have me sleep in the guest room to do that. That's not happening._

_"Night San!" Brittany yells back. _

_I turn and close the door but leave a crack of space between it and the frame. The plan was simple. Just wait an hour until the rents have passed out and then I can sneak back over to Brittany's room. Just thinking about it makes my stomach feel all tight. _

_I sit in the center of the big bed and pull a pillow into my lap. Suddenly a little light pierces through the darkness of the room. My phone. I grab it off the night stand and unlock the screen. _

_**Brittz: im bored**_

_I smile. Let the text war begin._

_**Only 50 more mins bb**_

_**Brittz: 2 long! :(**_

_**Brittz: I miss u**_

_**Im 10 ft away!**_

_**Brittz: I sleep betr with u. come over here!**_

_**10 more mins ;)**_

_**Brittz: Scrw the plan. CUM NOW!**_

_I laugh out loud at her text and sprint as quietly as I can down the hall. Screw it if they catch us, they fall asleep fast anyways. _

_"Finally!" Brittany sighs when I close her door. _

_There's no light in her room at all. It's fucking dark. But I've done this so many times that I'm on her bed and on top of her in seconds._

_"We had a plan, remember?" I mumble against her lips. They're soft and velvety. I'm between her legs, lying on her stomach as her hands thread through my hair. My hands slip under her baggy tee shirt and trace around her hip bones. _

_"So?" she whispers and shifts so we're face to face. "I wanted to do this."_

_I gasp. _

_Heat rushes to my core and stomach and neck and face. _

_I roll my hips down into Brittany's and she groans too. My lips attach to her pulse point and suck greedily. She groans again and pants heavy against my ear as we start a rhythm. _

* * *

><p>Me and Brittany had gone to visit Mr. Schue again...actually everyone went to visit him again. But "<em>there's no alcohol<em>!" Puck had whined.

So somehow I got volunteered into driving into town with Puck and Brittany to buy more champagne. It was like they all wanted to boost up Berry's ego by letting her make her stupid long ass toasts. Fuck it.

Puck was smashing his hands onto the dashboard and the car door, pretending he could drum.

"Puckerman quit it!" I shouted over the rock music that was blaring through my speakers. "You're gonna break my speakers _and_ my car!"

"Chill out, Lopez!" he yelled back before turning down the music.

"Hey!" Brittany whined from the back seat. "I liked that song."

That fucking pout! I swear to _God_ she was using me.

* * *

><p>"I have to pee..."<p>

Brittany's warm breath tickled the shell of my ear. She was leaning forward from the back seat and her head was resting next to my headrest.

"We're almost back to Mckinley Britt," I said and Puck cocked an eyebrow.

"But San I _really_ really need to go. And my house is right there."

I wondered what the Pierces would think if their oldest daughter stumbled out of a beat up car with champagne bottles spilling out behind her. I shook my head and groaned.

"Fine, but make it quick!"

I pulled onto her street and shifted into park outside her house. It was strangely quiet. None of the dogs or little kids who lived on the street were making any noise. I couldn't even see any birds around or squirrels.

"You're the best San!" she squeaked as she ripped open the door and bounded towards her porch.

"Whipped," Puck mumbled.

Bullshit.

"At least I'm not being bossed around by a four year old _princess_!" I spat.

Shit. His face fell and he shook his head. I knew he was only joking, trying to piss me off, but it worked. I knew Puck tried to be good with Beth and tried to see her as much as he could. But that's the thing. He fucked that up the second he knocked up Quinn sophomore year. It was his fault. I didn't make a stupid mistake to fall in love with Brittany.

"Sorry..." I mumbled, looking away.

"Whatever. After another round of Rachel getting tipsy on champagne I'm gonna need to get wasted."

"I won't be able to stand that again."

Puck cracked his knuckles and scratched at his knee.

"You can come, if you wanna," he said. "Just don't get all cry baby on me. I'll leave you at the bar."

He cracked a smile and then turned the keys in the ignition, and then turned the radio on again. When he started drumming on my dashboard I rolled my eyes and saw that all the Pierce's cars were still in the drive way. It was a Thursday. Shouldn't Mr. and Mrs. Pierce both be at work?

I looked around the rest of the street and saw that lots of cars were still parked in their drive ways or on the road. A few garage doors were opened too, but no one was around. I bit the inside of my cheek, feeling a little sketched out. What the fuck was taking Brittany so long?

"Boom, bash, bang bang, bah-booom!" Puck was chanting, still smashing away.

I leaned forward to look around him and saw Britt didn't shut the front door.

I sighed, again, and frowned. She would be pissed if Lord fucking Tubbington got out. That fat ass would have her in a fucking tizzy out looking for him.

"I'll be back in a sec," I said getting out of the car.

I walked up to the porch and looked through the open door, knocking on the frame.

"Hello?" I shouted. "Mrs. Pierce? Mr. Pierce?"

_Silence_.

"Brittany?" I called softly.

I got the feeling someone was watching me. A shiver ran down my spine at how quiet it was. I couldn't hear anything except a growing ringing in my ears.

I turned around to see if Puck was still in my car and he was. Puck was smacking his legs to some song and watching me. He smiled. It felt weirdly inappropriate.

"Britt?" I called again turning around and walking inside. I closed the door and immediately noticed that the place was messy. Messier than this morning. Which was weird because how could all their shit get whipped around in just a couple hours? And where the fuck was Brittany and her parents?

I took a deep breath and gagged.

There was some rotting, copper smell. It coated my nostrils and mouth. I wanted to throw up.

Something was fucking wrong here. What the fuck happened to this entire street? This was _not_ how Lima was no matter how boring it was. And it was boring. Being a Lima loser was hated for a reason. Pull your damn stomach together and find Brittany, Lopez!

I walked into their family room and didn't find anyone, so then I walked into the TV room and gasped.

* * *

><p><em>"I love you San," Brittany whispers as she dives into delirium before she falls asleep. <em>

_I tangle my legs with hers and my stomach tightens a little because we're both still naked. But I'm tired now and we have exams tomorrow and it's like one in the morning. _

_"Love you Brittz," I breath against the pillow. _

_It's nice being able to just sleep with her and feel her arms around me. It's cheesy and stupid and mushy but I like it. I love it. But I know Brittany always rolls away in her sleep when we spoon. So I flip in her arms and rest my head on her chest._

_"Night..." I yawn against her skin. _

_She runs her fingers through my hair and nods. She always falls asleep so fast. It's fucking crazy. I breathe in and out a few times and just watch the rise and fall of her creamy skin until my eyes slip close. _

* * *

><p>Brittany was on the floor, kneeling in front of two bodies that were bleeding freely into the carpet. Two bodies that were her parents. They were not mangled or destroyed either. Just bleeding out from some slashes or...bite marks? I don't fucking know, but it was all hate and fucking disgusting to look at. And Brittany wouldn't stop starring.<p>

My chest was heaving with big shaky breaths. What the hell do you do when someone's parents are _dead_ in front of them? Think Lopez, think! I walked toward her on uneasy feet and the slid to the ground next to her.

"Brittany," I tried.

Her face was all scrunched up and tears were flying down her pink cheeks. Her lips were in a tight line and her blue eyes were dark and clouded.

I tried hard to not look at her parents bodies. I tried hard to put myself between her and them, but she kept looking around. She was almost crazed with her movements. I didn't blame her.

"It's...Brittany..." I had not idea what to say. I couldn't fucking say it would "be okay" because it was _not_ fucking okay. It was wrong, so wrong and how could I help get her out of the situation?

"Don't touch them!" I told her and grabbed her shoulders. "Don't touch and I'll call 911, okay?"

Rational. Rational. Rational. Thank you brain!

"Just sit...and...stay."

I waited for her to nod.

I whipped out my phone but I felt the panic start to seep into my throat and make it close up. I punched at the numbers and waited for the ring.

The fucking ring that never came!

I re-dialed and re-dialed but my fucking phone wouldn't work.

_Emergency Only_ kept flashing across the screen every time I hit the dial button.

I felt myself losing my grip on the situation. I watched Brittany try to crawl closer to her parents. Dead bodies. What do you do with dead bodies? Don't touch, run away. What caused their death? Was it still here? Was someone fucking with us and waiting just upstairs to come down and kill us too? Was that why the fucking kid-filled street was dead silent?

The ringing came back to my ears but then it got interrupted by Brittany's sobs. They were thick and heavy and rough and body rocking.

"PUCK!" I screamed as loud as I could, hopping, begging that he would hear me. "PUCK! GET IN HERE, NOW!"

I launched myself at Brittany and got a death grip around her stomach. She groaned and sobbed and moaned.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I kept saying. "I'm so fucking sorry."

She was shaking her head so hard I thought she was going to get whiplash.

"Brittany, please, I'm sorry but we need to go!"

My heart was pounding. My arms and legs fueled by adrenaline. I heaved Brittany off the ground started half dragging half carrying her out of the house.

"PUCK!" I yelled again.

"Santana don't!" Brittany moaned, trying to pull against me. "Let me stay! Mommy...Daddy."

Her sobs were breaking my heart. I wanted to drop her and let her run back to their bodies, but I couldn't do that. That might kill us.

"What the fuck Santana!" Puck cried as he ran into the house. "Why are you screaming? Why is Brittany...?"

"Just help me get her back in the car!" I shouted.

"No...please San. Please. _Please!_"

My arms were shaking and I was grateful when Puck took Brittany from my arms and hugged her to his chest.

"I'll tell you later," I hissed and walked as fast as I could back out to the car.

I whipped open the back seat door and climbed in. Puck looked confused but I opened my arms to him and growled: "You drive." He placed Brittany in the back seat and I had to wrap my arms around her and hold onto my elbows to keep her in the car.

She kept groaning and crying so hard. It made my throat swell up with tears and a few got out.

"Where am I going?" Puck asked from the driver's seat as he shifted into drive.

"The high school," I said. "Something's messed up. We need to find Mr. Schue."

He nodded and hit the gas, peeling down the street.

* * *

><p>"Something's happening...it's across the town," Mr. Schue said. "I think we should all just stay at the school until we can get a hold of the police or fire department or we hear something."<p>

Brittany wouldn't even sit in a chair. We were on the floor, her head in my lap. One of her hands was squeezing mine so hard I thought she was going to break my knuckles. I tried not to let it show, but fuck I couldn't feel two of my fingers. I was petting her hair, trying my best to keep her calm.

I was trying my best to keep myself calm. It was all fucked up. All over town, I guess, shit had been happening. Fucked up shit.

No one's phone was working and the TV stations were down.

All the kids at school had gone home because it was like four now and the janitors were still cleaning like they didn't get it. Finn and Rachel didn't know what the hell was going on because they had stayed with Mr. Schue when all the shit went down.

Sam got...attacked? What do you call it when a person comes at you but when you side step them they smash into a wall? Disoriented? I didn't know, but Sam got smashed into a wall and then he ran away from some guy and he said the guy couldn't even walk around trash cans.

Mercedes was holding an ice pack to his head.

Tina and Mike and Artie were all talking quietly with Mr. Schue and Rachel. While Finn and Puck were in the teachers' lounge or something, looking for a working TV station.

Brittany whimpered and more fat tears fell down her face and slid onto my jeans.

"Shhh Britt," I whispered.

She just whimpered more and turned her face into my stomach.

The floor was fucking uncomfortable, I didn't know how she was rolled on her side with her hip digging into the linoleum.

"Shhh...shhhh," I chanted softly. Her blond hair was spread out in my lap as she snaked her arm around my hips and tugged herself closer.

"Brittany shhh..."

I didn't know what else to say. There wasn't anything _right_ to say for the moment. She was gasping into me. Gasping and it made me gasp through my shushing. Made lumps push through my throat and water cover my cheeks. The way she shook into me made me shake with her and pull her closer against me.

I was glad everyone else was too wrapped up in figuring what the hell was going on to notice us. We were quiet in our little corner.

"MR. SCHUE!"

I looked up enough to see Puck and Finn run into the room wheeling in a TV. Puck was frantically plugging it into the nearest outlet.

"Mr. Schue! You all have to see this!" Finn was still shouting. He was bouncing up and down, pointing at the TV.

"What?" Mr. Schue asked.

"Is the TV working now?" Rachel asked.

"Just listen!" Puck spat as he turned on the screen and flicked to a news channel.

Brittany sat up more so she was leaning against me. I bent one of my knees so she could lean her back against my leg. She didn't wink at me or smile like she might have in high school. But we weren't in high school anymore.

I kept touching her hair as I looked to the TV. It flashed a few times and then a clear picture came through. It was some news cast. The reporter looked a little beat up and sweaty and freaked out in his sweat vest and tie.

"-freak accident with virus—military workings-...parasites and it starts out as a cold—now it's being passed by body fluids...-the whole country is under—no way to stop—keep inside...don't leave and don't get bit or swap fluids...keep near radios or TVs. We'll try to keep broadcasting here."

The screen went kind of fuzzy and black and white in spots.

"What can only be described as zombies, but are not in fact. The virus and bugs and parasites go directly to the brain breaking down the frontal lobe which is for communication. This causes the mindlessness. Most parts of the brain slowly deteriorate except the cerebellum. Flight or Fight still exists in these things.

"Get to the major cities in your area for designated safe spots...-been destroying machines and taking over houses—terrorizing animals and people—stages are slow and hard to place...drawing blood should show—be back in few minutes with more information-"

It was quiet.

So quiet I thought Brittany had stopped breathing. Until she let out a shaky shuttering sigh and curled in on herself again.

I could hear everyone's heavy breathes. I was on the verge of panting with the new information.

"We should leave," Puck said.

I watched him like everyone else. Was he fucking crazy? The stupid reporter just told us it was safer inside and he wants to leave? And after what happened to Britt's parents? No way in hell was I stepping outside this building.

"Bullshit," I mumbled and Puck frowned at me.

"No, seriously we should leave," he urged. "This place isn't secure enough. If we can get downtown then we might be able to get to that old fall out shelter. You know the one with the radioactive sign outside? Yeah we can go and wait in there for police or something."

Mr. Schue nodded.

"Maybe..." he said. He looked sweaty like the reporter. Nervous maybe. I tried to remember if he had said anything about Ms. Pillsbury yesterday, but I couldn't.

"I agree with Noah," Rachel said. "A fall out shelter would certainly provide the utmost protection and it is quite possible we would find emergency personal in such a centralized area. Also, I would assume that a fall out shelter would have plenty of provisions including food and medical supplies that would seem most appropriate to our current situation."

"_Thank you Manhands_," I hissed over the top of Brittany's head.

This all felt like fucking high school from hell.

Rachel scrunched up her face at me like she was pissed off and then turned to Tina and Mike.

"I think we should go for it," Mercedes said softly from across the room.

"We're already inside," Tina said. "It's dangerous."

Mr. Schue nodded again and wiped at his forehead. He was obviously sweating now.

"Let's take a vote then," he suggested. "Who wants to stay?"

I raised my hand and Brittany closed her eyes. Artie, Tina, and Mike all raised their arms too.

"Okay," Mr. Schue said. "That's...four votes to stay. Who wants to go?"

Puck raised his hand with Sam, Mercedes, Finn, and Rachel.

"That's five...and there's ten of us...someone didn't vote."

I sucked in my breath. Brittany hadn't voted. She was too spaced out and traumatized to _vote_.

"Brittany."

I whipped my head to their little crowd of people. Artie was starring right at us. He said it I know he did. He was just pointing it out, but because he was who he was, it made the statement feel like a stab to my heart. Like it was an accusation that would end up punishing her.

Brittany turned so her back was against the wall and not my legs.

"She can't vote," I whispered.

We didn't tell them what happened at Brittany's house. I said it could wait until later because Brittany was crying so hard and I just wanted to calm her down. Make her feel safe for one fucking second.

"It's not fair if she doesn't vote," Mike mumbled.

They were all staring now. I wanted to scream at them to leave her alone but they would just think I had gone crazy. Shit. What the hell was I going to do? I wasn't going to tell them. Brittany was the one who needed to tell them, and then only when she felt better, like when she stopped crying.

"You vote Mr. Schue," Puck said.

Mr. Schue looked afraid. He looked like he wasn't ready to decide the fate of his "family". That's what father figures did though, right? Decide the fate of their family?

"I think we should go...but we still need Brittany to vote. She gets a say too."

My eyes felt like they were popping out of my head. He was supposed to vote for her not like that. Not all fair and reasonable. Just make the fucking decision and leave her out of it.

I shifted closer to Brittany after I glared at all of them. I grabbed her hand felt my skin flash with heat. I didn't like them watching me.

"Brittany..." I whispered.

She turned and faced me, uncurling her arm from her face. The blue of her eyes was way too innocent to have something so shitty happen to her. Just by the blue of her eyes I wanted to save her. From the old club, from "zombies", from the death of her parents. I just wanted her to be better.

"Do you want to stay or go to the shelter?" I asked.

Her eyes were searching, still brimming with tears. She shook her head a little and squeezed my hand. I took a breath and felt like all of a century passed between the time it took her to decide. But really it was only seconds. And really, before the words even left her lips I knew I couldn't save her.

We didn't work in high school, or after. I was too scared to _call _her. Fucking pick up my phone and send a text. If I was too scared to apologize for something that didn't even mean anything, how could I force myself into doing what was the right thing?

The words were the exact opposite of what I was hoping for. I was surprised she had been listening at all to what we were saying. Maybe she actually had grown up because her eyes weren't sorry and she wasn't pouting. I had to finish growing up or catch up to her or something because this wouldn't work. I couldn't pick what was right for her over me if she thought the opposite.

She said: "I want to leave."

I thought: "We're going to die."

* * *

><p><strong>Hey I hope you liked this chapter! I'm gonna try to update once a week. Also I still cannot believe the amount of alerts I've gotten! Like wow! It means a lot, but do you all like what's going on? I would love to hear your opinions about it! Constructive critisim would be awesome! Even some hate...if you really didn't like something. <strong>

**I know that this might seem like weird now, because of the zombies, but it's a love story told in the setting of zombies. I thought it would be a little different to focus on the love people have while faced with an impending doom from some scary threat like zombies. I can understand if you don't like it. Also if any one is interested in being my Beta I would love you so much! **

**Question: Does Santana sound in character? Does anyone sound in character? If not, do you like the way they are written or should I try to change it?**

**xxRose**


	4. Ch 3 Kicking and Screaming

**You have no idea how surprised and humbled I've been with the amount of alerts and favorites! Thanks you guys so much! While the reviews are lacking a little, it doesn't really matter to me because of all the favorites and such. But I would really like to know if you guys are liking where this is going? Pm's are great too for any one looking to give me ideas. Also reviews make me update faster... ;P **

**So thanks bicorn, Buttercup, kurly123, and BumbaMumbaJimJams for reivewing! They all made my day 3 **

**So without further a duee here's chapter 3! (Nothing is mine)**

**Chapter 3: Kicking and Screaming**

"Fuck..." I whispered.

Puck was walking over to me with a frown. Brittany was sitting in a chair retying her shoes for the third time. I think I was shaking, I couldn't tell anymore. Brittany had stood up and picked out a chair to plant herself in once everyone stopped looking at her. It felt like a punch to my gut and I had to keep reminding myself that she wasn't mine. She didn't belong to me, even if we _were_ in a relationship. She wasn't property and she had her own opinions.

"Hey," Puck said a little too nonchalantly. "Do you wanna drive in my car?"

When I looked at his face and saw he was serious I had to hold in my scoff.

"_No_."

He cocked his eye brows.

"Okay...well is Brittany going with you? I just thought maybe if she needs you then you shouldn't be driving."

I bit the inside of my cheek and groaned.

Okay, plan this shit out Lopez. Car, fall out shelter...the fuck is that? Hmm...car, house, _then_ fall out fucking shelter.

"Where's the shelter?" I asked, starring into the back of Brittany's head.

"Uh, in town," Puck mumbled trying to see what I was looking at. "It's right passed the mall. It has a sign too."

I nodded and turned to face him. My stomach was a mess and my head was even worse. A part of me needed to see if my parents were okay. Just a peek at the house and then I would leave. The other part needed me to stay as far away as possible.

"When are we leaving?"

Puck scratched at his chest. "Soon I think. Why?"

"I need to go home quick and...just check. But don't fucking say anything to anyone, got it Puckerman?"

He rolled his eyes at me and chuckled.

"Got it, no need to be hostile. So is Britt going with you?"

"If she wants...she's been quiet..." I mumbled and kicked at nothing.

"Well...yeah I would be too," Puck said and crossed his arms. "They all need to know sooner or later."

"They don't _need_ to know shit," I spat. "And she can tell them when she _wants_. I'm not saying anything unless she tells me to."

Puck nodded.

"We're planning on leaving to that shelter in ten minutes!" Finn announced.

"Finn and Mike can you help get Artie settled in the back of my van?" Mr. Schue asked.

Four cars were going. Mine, Puck's, Sam's, and Mr. Schue's.

The plan was for Finn and Mike to go with Artie in Mr. Schue's van (of course Rachel had to go with Finn), and then Tina would go with Mercedes and Sam in Sam's car. Then I would go in my car and Puck would go in his. Brittany...would go where ever.

I made a move to walk over to Brittany and Puck grabbed my arm.

"What?" I hissed, turning on him.

"Wait...just chill your tits for a second. If you go home..." he was acting weird and talking really low, "if you go into your house, just make sure you pack on some layers and shit, okay?"

"Why?"

"Just because...I don't think you're gonna wanna be shivering your ass off if this place doesn't have heat. It's early November."

He dropped my arm and winked, running a hand through his mohawk.

"Okay...fine. Yeah I'll do that."

"Good."

Awkward silence. It shouldn't have been but it was. He was being...nice? Caring? He wanted to make sure I could handle whatever shit we got into. That was nice. Maybe I should have thanked him, but he was already offering to help Mike and Finn ("I'll grab the chair!").

I took a deep breath and walked over to Brittany.

Her blonde hair was blocking her face, like a veil. She was sitting, hands in lap, fiddling with her fingers and occasionally twisting her hair around a single digit. She was nervous.

"Hey," I whispered, crouching down next to her.

She didn't look up.

* * *

><p><em>"You won!" I laugh. <em>

_Brittany has me in a death grip, her arms squeezing my shoulders._

_"It was that dance, I so much better than everyone at dancing!" Brittany screeches against my skin. I nod against her and sigh, catching her lips with my mouth. She tastes like strawberries, like from her lip gloss. _

_"San..." she whispers and wraps her arms around my back. "Pushy?"_

_"Yeah, my girlfriend's the prez, that's hot."_

_Brittany giggles into my mouth and her tongue follows. _

_We're at Brittany's house. Her parents are out and it's dark. We forgot to turn on the light. Brittany rakes her nails down my sides as I wrap my arms around her neck. Heat rushes through my body and pools in my stomach. Brittany is hot, and beautiful and make me go crazy. My mind is buzzing with her lips smacking into mine and then touching lightly. _

_The pace is frantic and then slow and leisurely. Brittany is smiling, I can feel it on my skin. She's kissing everywhere. My neck, cheeks, lips, nose, collarbone... _

_It turns hot and heavy quick when she pushes me back onto her bed. _

_"Britts let me...ahh...let—let me congratulate _you_."_

_She rips my shirt off and licks down my stomach but I flip her before she can do anything, my center getting even wetter. _

_"Shhh, I want to give the president the right kind of press..."_

_"I don't want to get pressed San," she whispers out breathy, her mouth frowning with confusion. _

_"Nevermind Britt."_

* * *

><p>When I got to the shelter the sirens that had gone off were ten times louder. Brittany had gone with me to my house, my parents cars gone (which I'd rather not think about...) and I pulled Brittany inside to change. We packed on layers and I even found her a coat she had left at my house from years ago (meaning during senior year). She was quiet through it all.<p>

The streets were crowded with cars that were parked along the sides. My cheap ass car squealed every time I turned the wheel. I had to bite my tongue to keep from screaming at it to be quiet. Brittany was in the passenger seat in her white winter coat. She looked so far away. I didn't know how to bring her back, either. I didn't have a fucking clue.

You give people time to grieve, right?

Well how the hell does that fit in when your life could be at risk?

I didn't think it could.

I scowled when I stepped out of the car and the noise scraped against my skull. Brittany followed behind me. I wanted to reach back and hold her hand, to maybe ground her here in the present, but she was lost. Her blue eyes a portal to the sea she was lost in.

"Santana, Brittany!" Mr. Schue shouted. His curly hair was peeking out of the door. "Get in here!"

We rushed inside.

My hands were shaking hard. I was nervous and scared but my body felt exhausted. Like every movement was dead weight.

"What's the matter?" Puck asked, bumping my shoulder.

I shook my head. "This is weird," I said in a low voice.

"Yeah, well, let's get downstairs."

Downstairs was a cement basement with a few cots and what looked like a generator. That was it though. Nothing else to help us survive.

"Are you sure this it the right place?" I asked.

Puck nodded. His face looked pissy but like he was trying to keep it together at the same time.

"Yeah...this is it. It looks like people took all the stuff that was down here."

"No, I thought it was _supposed_ to look like a shitty cellar."

Puck rolled his eyes.

"Shitty cellars don't have steel doors that lock you in or walls six inches thick."

"Shut up and shut off those lights!"

Someone yelled. I spun around and watched as Mike and Finn raced down the stairs with Artie strapped into his wheel chair.

"What's wrong guys?" Mr. Schue asked worriedly.

My mind started to shut down. What the fuck was out there? Finn was shaking in his boots looking like he wanted to cry. Mike was panting while Tina rubbed his back and Artie looked as freaked out as Brittany was when she first saw her parents. Puck raced over to flip the switches and then slammed the door at the top of the stairs shut .My hands started shaking again as I tried to take deep breathes, but someone was panting and it was fucking with me.

I looked around desperate to find who ever it was in the dark, but I could just make out their silhouettes. Someone slipped passed my side and I jumped a foot in the air hissing.

"Calm down, it was just me," Puck whispered.

I nodded frantically. The panting was still heavy and close to me. I wanted to smack whoever it was and tell the to 'hold it the fuck together' but I could barely do that myself. I could hear more people whispering behind me but I couldn't make out the words. I assumed it was Mr. Schue and the wheel chair attendants but I could have cared less about them.

Why were we locking ourselves in this fucking basement all of sudden?

Then I heard it. Scraping along the walls. Something outside. My insides churned. What if it was those things? Those...zombies? Part of me was ready to go all fucking Nazi on the thing's ass but I was scared shitless too.

"Something's _out_ there," Finn panted.

"What do you mean?" Tina?

"Those...people are eating people!" Finn sounded hysterical. "They were coming closer too. Oh god. We have to do something...we're sitting ducks here!"

"Take a deep breath," Mr. Schue said. "I don't think anything can get through that door once it's locked. Right Puck?"

"Yeah, it's locked from the inside."

"See? We're safe here."

It sounded like a set up from a horror movie for a scene right before everyone died. I shivered and the panting started again until I jumped again at the sound. A scream. I whipped around to who ever did it and figured out somehow that it was Brittany screaming. Brittany panting. Brittany having a nervous break down.

"Oh god god god!" Finn. That ass. Shut up! His parents weren't dead. He didn't deserve to be the one on the verge of hysterics.

Suddenly the sirens were loud again. They screamed and echoed even through the cement walls of the fallout shelter. The only light was filtering through the cracks of the door at the top of the stairs. My heart was pounding. Brittany was a mess, in the corner of the dark room. Her screams were competing with those of the sirens.

After we saw her parents' bodies like that...God I just wanted to drag her out of there. The way they were all bloody and just...dead looking. Puck had to help me get her out of the house. She was limp and shocked, but now her screams were scary. She was scaring me. She was so traumatized and upset and...Grah! I hated fucking seeing her like that.

Someone bumped into me, an elbow colliding with the back of my neck.

"The fuck?" I shouted, smacking the person away.

"Sorry!" Finn shouted back. I could just barely make out the outline of his silhouette. His big hands were covering his head, and he was...shivering?

"All this is just...fucked up!" he continued at a frantic pace, spiting the words out.

"Finn, it's okay," Rachel voiced, trying to calm the oaf down.

"No, it's not Rach!" he yelled, swinging his arms down. I had to side step to avoid being hit again.

"Watch you're gimpy arms, jackass!"

"Santana, fuck off!"

The hell was he talking to?

"They're going to kill us! Come in here and eat us!" he urged, raging around like a monkey. "Schue, we need to leave! We need to get guns, or something! Fuck...we need to kill those things!"

Brittany's wail interrupted his rant.

"And shut her the hell up! They're going to find us if we don't!"

His giant body ran over to Brittany, stumbling in the dark, and all I heard was a smack of skin on skin.

"Get the FUCK OFF!" I screamed, the blood draining from face. How dare he touch her? Slap her? I was going to tear him to shreds.

"Calm down, both of you!" Mr. Schue yelled.

"Get off her, dude!" Puck shouted. I watched his silhouette get shoved backwards as I ran over.

I could hear Brittany whimpering, probably getting ready to scream again.

"She's going to lead them to us!" Finn yelled, waving his arms around like a manic.

"FINN!" Mr. Schue yelled again. "You didn't have to hit Brittany! Get the hell over in the other corner and sit down!"

Puck was next to Britt, rubbing her arms as she cowered. My heart was clenching and my stomach doing flips. My Brittany was crumbling. Someone who I only ever knew as the happiest, most hopeful person alive. She was literally turning to dust before me.

"Santana, please try to keep her quiet, okay?" Mr. Schue told me.

I nodded dumbly before covering the rest of the distance between me and her.

I sat down next to Brittany as Puck moved away. The silence now was killing me. I ached to reach out and take her hand, squeeze her fingers. But I didn't want to at the same time. What if I made her scream again?

"Are you okay Britt-Britt?" I whispered, leaning in close so she could hear me.

The shifting of gravel caught my ears. I stiffened and felt Brittany exhale beside me. The whole group grew still. The air in the shelter was heavy and thick. Everyone holding their breath. My fingers cramped from the force of my nails digging into my palms.

"No..." Brittany whined in the softest voice I'd ever heard.

Through the darkness I could barely make out her silhouette and how her head was shaking frantically. Then it stopped. I could hear her breathing pick back up again. Her lungs filling with air for another scream. A scream that would tell who ever or what ever was outside that we were inside.

My arm seemed to know what I was doing before I thought to do it. Brittany's breath was hot and heavy against my palm. I could feel the wet tear trails around her lips and chin and the in and out of breath from her nose; which was quick.

"Shhh..." I whispered, my throat starting to close as more gravel shifted. My heart was thundering against my ribs and my blood pumping erratically through my veins. What ever was the fuck out there, it did _that_ to Britt's parents. It was fucking mutated or something. Shit like that doesn't just happen to bodies...human bodies.

Brittany's fingers snaked their way around my wrist and before I knew it her head was jammed into my shoulder, her body close to on-top of mine and her arms wrapped tight around my neck.

My breath caught in my throat in a gasp. My neck was wet with salt and it as going down my shirt. Her body was shaking fiercely, her bones seeming to shiver. Fuck, her arms were way too tight. I couldn't breathe like that. I untangled them from me but she fastened them around my chest instead and wormed her head into the crook of my neck.

"Britt," I breathed into her wind-swept hair.

Soundless sobs followed, her body shuddering with each one.

Fuck you, Lopez. I was the worst. The fucking worst. I used to know how to do this. Sad Brittany was who I could help best. I knew how to hug and whisper and kiss on the cheek. But I was never afraid for my life. I felt my arms curl around her back, but that was it. I was too stiff and held down by her weight to do much else. I could breathe on her, but that did nothing to calm her down. I tried to rock, but her nose just nudged right under my ear, annoyingly, until I stopped.

"Shhh..." I mumbled into her hair.

It was all I could do to keep myself from shoving her away and ripping my own hair out. The pressure in the room was ripping me apart. Whatever was outside wasn't leaving and none of us could speak until it did. It was making these weird groaning-moaning sounds too. Fucked up.

Her tears were relentless. A constant onslaught. My shirt was physically damp and the water was starting to travel down my arm.

Lopez, do something! Grow a pair and do something! You could do this without thought in high school.

One of my hands crawled under her jacket and layers until it felt skin. She was so hot. Not in a sexual way...but she was _hot_ that way too. Shit, but no, her _temperature_ was hot. She was burning. I flinched when her wet nose, lips, and chin mashed up against my neck.

She was still silent, except for her hot pants against me. Part of me wanted to yell at her to pull herself together, didn't she get that there was something outside? Something that could kill all of us? Then another part, the little part of me that still understood Brittany and all she was, overrode it. I started to scratch at her back, all around her spine and side. Just lightly with my nails.

When I looked back out into the darkness of the shelter I couldn't see if anyone was watching us. In the bottom of my stomach I felt scared. It was almost like being back in high school, in the closet. I wanted to shake the feeling away but I couldn't. I just swallowed it down, burying it further into my organs.

Brittany's shaking was slowing. It wasn't as violent. Her pants turned into shuddering breaths, slower and more controlled. I started to trace patterns on her skin, half to calm myself down with the motions. The groaning-moaning sounds had stopped and the gravel outside wasn't moving anymore.

I could see some people moving in front of us. I think it was Mr. Schue and Puck and Mercedes. One of their shadows walked over to us. I had to make myself control my breathing. I had to keep calm for Brittany but I needed to scream too.

"Is she okay? Are you both okay now?"

It was Mr. Schue.

My chest ached when Brittany pulled herself closer to me.

"Yes..." I whispered into her hair. "Yeah, we're okay. Is freak-the-fuck-out-Finn calming down?" I hissed.

If I could see Mr. Schue's face, I was pretty sure it would be stern (about the F-bomb) but I bet his eyes would be laughing. He was always pissed off at me for swearing, but sometimes even he laughed at my word choice.

"Finn is still...recovering," he said softly. "He's worked up and scared, which is understandable."

"Schuester," Puck called. "I wanna go out and look around."

Mr. Schue turned as Puck's shadow got closer.

My legs were cramping from Brittany's pointy butt digging into them. I tried to shift her to sit in between my legs but she wouldn't let her body touch the ground.

"Puck I don't think that's a good idea. I'd rather have us all stick together until we're sure it is safe outside."

I scratched down Brittany's back one last time and then wrapped my hand around her hips.

This was just a shitty situation. I wanted to fucking go outside with Puck. I wanted to break that _thing's_ neck. I needed to get out of this dark hole and burn off all this fucking nervous energy.

"If we stay here we need food," Puck growled. "I'll take Sam with me and grab some shit and then come right back. I swear Schue."

"Yeah I'll go with him Mr. Schue," Sam said as he stood up.

Mr. Schue sighed and walked away from me and Brittany.

"Fine, but you only have an hour, okay?"

Puck and Sam were gone before I could move Brittany to get up. Shit. Shit. Shit. Fuck this shit.

Brittany rolled her hips so she was sitting on the ground next to me, but her upper body was still attached to me.

"Are you better...?"

It was a fucking stupid question and I clamped my lips shut the second after it left my mouth.

She nodded against my collar bone and sighed, deep and heavy and thick.

I wanted to feel that swollen and exhausted and vulnerable. But I couldn't do that. I couldn't waste away and seep into a pile of shit because I wanted to. I needed to figure out my head from my ass and get the hell away from this shit hole.

* * *

><p>"Hey...Hey."<p>

Someone was shaking my shoulder. I groaned and rolled over trying to get away from the offender.

"Wake up. Lopez, get your ass up."

I groaned. "Fuck off Puckerman."

The pillow on this cot sucked. I tried to block out his words with it by covering my ears but it did nothing to mute the sound. The itchy blanket did little to warm my body. I was glad Puck had suggested that I layered up. I sighed, stretching slightly before I looked back up at him.

He was in a black winter winter jacket. His face a foot from mine.

"What?"

"Shhh, everyone's asleep."

"I wonder why I'm not?"

He rolled his eyes and stood up. "When Sam and I went out...there are a lot of those fuckers running, well stumblin' around. I don't want to stay here."

"Oh-kay," I drawled, yawning.

"I want to leave."

"You just said that."

He rolled his eyes again. He looked tired but alert too. It was a weird look on his face. I was happy I wouldn't have to stay awake for a couple days based on that fucking schedule Berry made.

"I want to sneak out...like in a couple days."

_What?_ Why the fuck would he want to go outside these walls? He's the one who said they're half a foot thick! We will die. I know we will and it's scary. I could barely keep myself from screaming out when Brittany wanted to leave the school, and now Puck was asking me to leave a fallout shelter? Who did he think I was? I may be Santana Lopez but I was not superwoman.

"Why the _hell_ do you want to do that? Why the _fuck_ are you telling _me_?"

"Because I want you to come with me. It's better to stay in a small group, and let's be real. Rachel can't handle the outdoors and Finn can't keep from crying like you when you're...like a little girl!"

"I'm not going anywhere that is outside these fucking cement walls. Take Sam with you."

"He's not going to leave Mercedes and well...do I really have to go there? She's bigger...she'd slow me down."

"Take the Asians." I grumbled throwing an arm over my eyes. He was being ridiculous.

"Tina can't handle this shit any better than Rachel or Finn."

"Take Artie as bait," I scoffed.

My arm was then pulled from my face and I was inches from Puck's nose.

"You're my best bet, Lopez. And if Brittany wants to come..."

"No."

"I'm just saying she's in killer shape, and she's not falling to shit because of these things...it's because what they did. She'll get over it. She'll be fine."

"_No_."

"Just think about it. I'm grabbing all the stuff three people will need to get out of here. Don't tell anybody, okay?"

I didn't say anything.

"Okay...just—think about it."

I shook my head but he was already walking away. I turned to find Brittany who was sleeping in the cot a few feet away from mine. I felt my stomach coil as she rolled to face away from me and I realized what I'd just done. I made a decision for her, again. I did what I _thought_ was right, she didn't have a say. God damn it! I was going to throw up. Shit. Lopez, you fucking _idiota_!

You're still the kid. The stupid teenager who won't grow up. She's was an adult she could make her own decisions. She did make her own decisions. God, this fucking thing was too much. These _feelings_ were too much. I wanted to be able to put the past behind me and just be with her again, but I couldn't do that until I grew up. Fucking _grew up_.

I couldn't let her out there again though. I would try until my heart gave out (shit that's cheesy) to keep her inside this place. I was starting to feel like my padre. Fuck it.

I got out of the cot, scratchy blanket wrapped around my shoulders, and walked over to Brittany. The cots were small, but I was sure I could squeeze myself on with her. It wasn't like either of us would be getting a good sleep anyway.

"Brittany..." I whispered. She didn't respond and I ran my hand down her neck. Her eyes fluttered open and then shut close again.

"San...?"

I nodded and smiled when she cuddled closer in her blanket.

"Move over a little."

She rolled so she was almost hanging off the left side of the mattress. I chuckled a little but climbed in quickly, wrapping my arms around her. She sighed and leaned back into my touch. She was so warm, her heat bleeding through my jacket and warming my skin.

If I was going to grow up I had to get passed the past. I was _not_ going to end up like my padre. I was not going to let Brittany leave me in the dust. So I was going to attack her like nothing happened and hope for the best. The best right now being snuggling with her like my life depended on it.

And it kinda did.

* * *

><p><strong>So Review and I hope you enjoyed! Trying hard to stay with the once a week thing...I was one day late :(<strong>


	5. Ch 4 Grown Up but Not Really

**Chapter 4: Grown Up but Not Really**

* * *

><p><em>I'm panting. Brittany has her hands circling my hips and thighs and I have to bite my lip to keep in my moans. Brittany and I always have sleepovers, we've kissed and touched but never to the point of an orgasm. I—gruahhh...<em>

_ "Britts...oh god."_

_ Her hands pull down my shorts and her fingers play with my underwear. I'm so wet already. She's breathing on my neck and slopping kisses on my pulse. It's embarrassing how wet I am. It's just foreplay too. _

_ "San you like this don't you?" Brittany asks, smirking. Bitch. _

_ "Yes...hmm."_

_ Brittany cups me through my panties and I start to twitch. My stomach is in coils and is tightening so fast. Then Brittany smashes her wet lips onto mine. I can't keep in the moans but her tongue does a good job of keeping me occupied. _

_ "Ready?"_

_ I nod and suck in a breath. She's driving me crazy. I'm so sensitive to all her touches: fingers grazing my thighs, lips sucking my skin, eyes looking me over, hands removing my underwear..._

_ "Britt-!" _

_ She smiles and blows on me again. I feel like falling apart right there and then, but I somehow manage to drag her up and smack our mouths together in a hot messy kiss. I need to distract myself before I blow too early. _

_ Her lips are a little chapped, it's winter I don't care, and they taste like Dr. Pepper (her _mouthwash_?). It's sweet and tingly on my lips. _

_ "San!"Brittany whines as I push my thigh into her crotch. She's all breathy and wheezy, almost like an old man, but she's totally hot when she sounds like she's about to have a heart attack. My face is hot as I touch her lips with the tip of my tongue. Her mouth parts a little and I push my mouth over hers more. She gasps but I swallow the noise. _

_ I pet her tongue and then trace the roof of her mouth. I groan when she touches the underside of my tongue, my stomach coiling again. _

_ I want to be closer to her. I press against her core again and rub a little, making her lips and tongue still on mine. I want to make her feel something that a stupid boy can't. We're best friends. I _need_ to make her feel something. I take off her baggy tee shirt and toss it off her bed. She isn't wearing a bra so I allow my hands to palm her breasts while she whimpers under me. Her blonde hair is spread out on the pillow and her blue eyes are closed. Her pink lips are parted slightly, letting her moans push through. _

_ "Santana...please..."_

_ The way she says my name makes my stomach drop and my heart flutter. I fills up my chest with...something. I don't know what I just feel so full all of a sudden. _

_ I move to kiss her again, to kiss away the feeling in my chest. She pulls her underwear down and pulls me so I'm straddling one of her thighs. _

_ "Mmm...Britt." _

_ I try no to be distracted by her leg grinding up into my crotch but it's anything but. I'm curling around her trying to not be distracted by it and at the same time I'm grinding down against her crotch. _

_ We're both panting and heat and wet is pooling in my stomach. Brittany's making my thigh wet and slippery as I grind into her. I'm sure I've soaked her leg. Things start to get sloppy. I start to see stars behind my eyes when she pinches my nipple and pulls me closer by a hand on my back. _

_ I rest my chest on top of hers and thumb her pink nipples. _

_ "Close...hmph, I don't wanna be."_

_ I smirk and kiss her neck, biting down hard before running over the spot with my tongue. _

_ "It's okay, B...it'll work out."_

_ All I can hear is her panting as I slide down her body and replace my thigh with my hand. She's wet, maybe even wetter than I am. I tease her, sliding my fingers around her folds. It's easy. I brush past the bundle of nerves with my thumb and her whole body shudders. I have to hold in a laugh because she just looks so...cute?_

_ Both of her hands are on my back all of a sudden. Holding me to her impossibly tight as I tease her entrance. She mews and then she has her legs wrapped around my back and one of my arms is wrapped around her. My other hand has two fingers pushed inside her. My thumb is tracing quick circles on her clit. She's shuddering and panting and whimpering as I curl my fingers around experimentally. _

_ I can feel her abs quivering underneath me. It makes my stomach tighten even more. I start to pant because I'm pumping into her so fast and I can feel her walls clench every time I hit a certain spot...her G spot?_

_ I press into her harder and harder and make faster circles on her clit. Brittany's so hot. Her temperature is killing me. I think I might actually be sweating with the effort. _

_ "Oh god..." _

_ Brittany's talking again. _

_ "Santana, mmmph-!"_

* * *

><p>"Santana?"<p>

I tried to roll over when I heard someone talking to me. But there was something on top of me and I couldn't move. I groaned before opening my eyes.

The first thing I saw was bright blue eyes starring down at me and I felt a pull in my stomach. Fuck, it was a dream.

"Are you okay?"

I nodded and wrapped on of my arms around her waist, securing her to me. It was nice to feel her so close and be so carefree about it. I had never had the chance besides a few times during senior to be open about my relationship with her. It was weird...but something I had always wanted.

"You were talking in your sleep..." she said, her brows pulling together in concern. Her eyes were red and puffy and her voice was a little scratchy making something primal roll inside me. She was turning me on, like what the fuck? I was so pervy sometimes.

"Is anyone else awake?" I asked because there were lights on that hadn't been setup last night.

She nodded and sighed. "The boys...Puck got lights and him and Mike found food from some convenience store.

"Oh."

Brittany drove my stomach to hysterics when she lied down on top of me again. I could smell her hair, which smelled fruity, but mostly I could smell sweat. It should have grossed me out but it made me sad. Like depressed, sad. I couldn't believe all of this was happening. All sorts of shit and I was here having dreams of sexy times with Brittany. What the hell was wrong with me?

"Breakfast?"

It was a deep voice.

Puck was then standing over us with two green apples in his hands. They were shiny and my stomach growled at the sight of them.

"YES," I hissed, grabbing them out of his hand.

He laughed and sat down on the ground next to us. He wasn't wearing his coat anymore which was weird because last night it was freezing in here. He didn't even have goosebumps on his bare arms. He still had his army cargo pants on and he reached into one of the many pockets and pulled out a knife. He started slicing his apple up and plopping big, juicy pieces in his mouth.

"Here," I mumbled handing Brittany an apple as I sat up. She took the fruit but stayed attached to my stomach.

"What times is it?" I asked Puck around a mouth full of apple.

He cocked his eyebrows and smirked. "It's like eight thirty. I went out again with Mike to one of the department stores at like five. We got all these lights and a space heater and these." He motioned to his apple.

"Thanks, you're a _life saver_," I spat through a smile.

"It's what I do," he replied winking.

* * *

><p>"Britt have you ate anything yet?" I asked.<p>

She shook her head and rolled over on the cot so her face was smushed into the pillow. It would have been cute, but I was worried. She only nibbled at the apple she had a couple hours ago. It made my stomach curl and my muscles strain. I was stressing because what if she didn't want to eat? What if she was going to grieve like this? Starve herself...that would kill her and I wasn't going to let that happen. She _needed_ to fucking eat something!

"Santana we need you to help grab some supplies!" Mercedes called.

I turned around and shot a glare at her.

"In a minute...and I'm not going outside. You're fucking crazy if you think I'm going out there."

Mercedes gave me a funny look and turned back to Sam and Tina.

"Well come count all the stuff we have already!" Tina yelled.

I was getting angry. But I had to keep it together for Brittany. I had to. I took a few deep breathes and ran my hand down Brittany's back.

"Let's go help them count, okay?"

She shook her head and wrapped her arms around the pillow, securing it to her face.

"Please, Britt-Britt? We haven't done anything all day. Let's just go count."

She shook her head.

"Santana hurry up!"

I spun around, seething. I felt like a rabid dog...a fucking dog! Ready to attack anything that moved or said the wrong thing.

"Chill out!" someone hissed. It was Puck. "Just let her stay and go fucking count with them."

"She needs to _eat_!" I spat, low so only he would hear me.

He grabbed my shoulders and bent at the knee so he was eye level with me. It pissed me off that I was shorter than him. It made me feel like he was better because he was taller which made him bigger. Really I was just being stupid and insecure because if he was bigger, if anyone was bigger, they could beat me. Which would mean I would die or not be able to protect Brittany. That was all I cared about. All I would ever care about after yesterday.

"Look if she doesn't want to eat anything let her. She's going through a rough patch-"

"Everyone else is _too_. She's going to get _weak_ if she doesn't eat. She's going to _die_ out here if she doesn't _eat_."

"Lopez shut up and fucking _listen_ to what you're saying! Brittany isn't going to die because she doesn't eat for a little. She's a fucking twig anyways."

"Puckerman I swear if you don't take your hands off me I will _rip_ them off and _shove_ them up your _ass_."

"Cool it-" he dropped his hands "You're freaking out. Take a damn deep breath and chill your tits. _You'll_ be the one dying if you don't. You're getting all fucked up in the head. Everything's cool beans, dude. Stop turning into a defensive _bitch_. Just because you're with the glee club doesn't mean this is high school anymore."

It felt like a slap to the face.

"Fine," I grumbled and marched over to Mercedes and Tina and their tower of cans.

I 'hmphed' and dropped down beside the water bottles.

Once I had cooled my shit and was thirty two cans in, I started to think. I was getting all defensive and shit. I hope no one heard, more specifically Brittany. I tried not to think about any of it though and just tally off cans on the fucking _one_ piece of paper we had.

* * *

><p>One of the stupid ideas of the club was that everyone would go out in twos or threes to grab supplies every couple of hours. This fucking atrocity of an idea was to take place every few hours of the day. Rachel and Mercedes defined stupid <em>rules<em> for it too. And Schuster fucking agreed. One was only the able bodied were to go outside. That automatically put me in the running and left out people like Fin who couldn't keep his eyes from watering at the idea, Artie because he didn't have legs to stand on, Brittany because she still was grieving or whatever, and Mercedes because she (her words _not_ mine) couldn't "keep my damn ass running for more than two minutes."

She was just playing up her shit because she was as scared as everyone else to go outside.

Rachel had asked Sam if he could go out because his head was starting to kill him, he said he was fine. I wanted to bitch and moan about it, but at the same time I didn't want to let any of _them_ see me sweat. Puck and me had to go out tomorrow morning, "promptly once you both awaken" (fucking Berry).

It was night again.

Tina and Mr. Schue had brought back packs of playing cards from one of the shops they broke into. People had broken off into different groups around cots or some of the tables Puck and Mike brought in.

Dinner, if you could call it that, was everyone having a can of food. Either fruit or stew or whatever. One can and one only.

"I could eat like three," Sam complained at first.

"Sam if you want to eat us all out of our first supply's worth go ahead," Rachel had sighed. "That was meant to be taken sarcastically." She added as an after thought.

Puck was picking at some brown stew type thing. Rachel had given him a label plastic spoon, with his name on it, and he was swirling it around.

I wasn't going to eat until Brittany did. I was trying hard to guilt her into it. I had no fucking idea how long she could go without it, but she needed to eat sometime, and I thought if she heard my stomach growling like a dying cat maybe she would break and eat.

Me, Puck, and Brittany were sitting on two cots we pushed together. I was trying to shuffle, failing at it, while Puck was licking his spoon. He wanted to play Gin, or Rummy, or some fuck-shit card game he played with his buddies at school.

"Alright, crazy eights time!" Puck hollered, dropping the can and spoon to the floor behind him.

Brittany was sitting so she was leaning against the wall with her back. (We pushed the cots all the way to the wall, away from everyone else).

"What?" I asked, outraged. "That shit is just uno! I thought we were playing some hard core army card game."

Puck frowned and grabbed the deck from me.

"I guess crazy eights isn't _hard core_ enough for the army then because we play it in the national guard."

"Okay whatever, do you wanna play Britts?"

Brittany shook her head and continued to read one of the three books Mr. Schue had grabbed.

"You're going down lezbro!" Puck hissed while dealing out the cards.

"Fuck you Puckerman!"

I smirked and he rolled his eyes.

It was three games later (two to one _me_) that Brittany closed her book loudly, scooted over to me, and dropped her head to my shoulder.

"What's up Britt-Britt?" I whispered, smacking down a Jack.

She shrugged against me and then I heard it. A grumble, low and loud. It sounded violent and made my stomach screech in agreement.

"Uh...starving Britt?" Puck laughed poking her side.

She squirmed and smiled, like really fucking smiled for the first time in the past forty eight hours. I threw all my cards down and wrapped me arms around her, pulling her close.

"Me too! Let's get some cans!"

"Not so fast Santana!"

Of _course_ Rachel Berry had to stop me the second I tried to do anything.

"What Berry?"

"Here are both your utensils, personally labeled compliments of myself."

"Oh, right, _thank you_." I grabbed the two offending pieces of plastic from her hand and faked a smile. She smiled anyways though before walking back over to Finn, who was squeezing an empty water bottle like it he was jacking it off and it was going to blow its load.

I jumped up and dragged Brittany over to the stock pile and reached to a random can.

"I'm eating pineapple, sound good Britt?"

Her eyes looked like the size of saucers. She must have been starving all day because her stomach growled again and I bet people could've heard it in Canada. Everyone in the shelter turned to look at her.

"Have two cans Brittany!" Mr. Schue exclaimed. "We all know you haven't eaten anything all day."

"Yeah girl! Put some meat on that ass!" Mercedes yelled.

Everyone, including Brittany, started laughing. I even laughed a little. It was funny and semi normal and just felt good.

She chose one can of pineapple and one can of chicken soup. I was going to stay away from soup, because even if it was already cooked that stuff tasted bad cold. Brittany didn't seem to notice she ate it so fast. The cubed pineapple was pretty good, all the sugar was like caramelized so that shit was tasty.

Brittany even played crazy eights with me and Puck after she finished eating. I doubted she was done grieving or crying but for now she seemed okay. She was _smiling_, that had to count for something. Somehow our game turned into a competition, with wheelz winning. I didn't care though, because I might have or might not have let Brittany totally kill it when she versed me.

It was late, around eleven (from Mr. Schue's _wrist_watch) when Rachel stood up.

"Okay before anyone goes to sleep!" she announced. "It's Finn's turn to stay watch for the first four hours. He is followed by myself and then Artie. _Tomorrow_, it's Mercedes then Santana and after her is Sam. Good night everyone!"

I huffed and watched Puck drag the cots away from the wall. He got under his scratchy blanket and kicked off his boots.

"Night Asstana," he said with his eyes closed, _smirking_. "Night Britt."

"Night Fuckerman," I laughed.

"Goodnight!" Brittany managed through her giggles. The sound made my heart swell. Finn was watching us like we were shit crazy. He was still as paranoid as _fuck_ though. The fucking giant. Screw him. He needed to grow a pair and at least try to not flip his shit.

I looked at Brittany who was still sitting on my cot and then to her cot a couple feet away.

"Wanna sleepover?" I whispered in her ear.

She smiled and then frowned.

"In my cot," I added, wrapping my arms tighter around her waist.

"Oh, yeah. That makes sense now," she said nodding furiously.

I smiled holding in my laugh and kissed her cheek. "Go grab you blanket please!"

Brittany did laugh and stood. She kicked off her sneakers and pulled off some of her layers. It wasn't anywhere near hot in here, and it got colder at night, but pressed against another body along with the space heater we had now, we would be sweating against each other with jackets and pounds of clothing on.

She grabbed her scratchy blanket and was standing over me while I untied my sneakers. I made a kissy face at her, opening my arms and she smiled wider. Brittany made me feel a million times better when she sat down on my lap and let my arms circle around her. She made my heart beat faster and my goosebumps go away and made me smile and just filled whatever was missing from me. She was my other half, the missing piece to my puzzle, my significant other, _mine_. But more than mine she was herself, her own (questionably) responsible adult. That made her even better. She was just my Brittany and that was it. That summed everything up even when it sounded so simple.

"San let's sleep," she grumbled scooting off my lap and onto the cot.

"Okay," I yawned and grabbed my blanket.

We spooned and Brittany was the little one, I was the big one. She was only a couple inches taller, it really didn't make any difference. She felt good in my arms and I think my arms felt good around her. She was falling fast though and she turned so she was facing me, securing her arms around my torso, her head rested close to my neck.

"Love...you," she mumbled and it made me stop breathing.

"I love you too."

I didn't know if I said it just to say it, make her feel better, or if I really did love her. Because how could I love her if I was still catching up and I still felt like a totally ass even though I apologized and she accepted? I didn't have an answer for myself so I just kissed her crown and closed my eyes.

* * *

><p>"<em>Stop. Freaking. Out.<em>" Puck hissed.

He was literally dragging me through the streets of a town I barely recognized anymore. There were piles of trash and rubble from I didn't know what lining the streets and side walks. Most of the cars left had smashed windows and some looked charred, like people or...zombies...had set them on fire or blew them up or some shit.

"Puck where the _fuck_ are we going?" I screeched. I shook his hand off and crossed my arms. He motioned to one of the department stores down the street.

"Wall-mart, dip shit."

"What are we getting? I want to get back to that shelter befores I gets a heart attack."

"Chill your shit. We need to get extra stuff and bring it to my stash."

He ducked into the store through a hole in the glass sliding doors.

"Are there _things_ in here?" I whispered, flipping the hood of my jacket up. I didn't want anything to jump out and grab my hair and drag me to my doom. I wasn't stupid, I'd seen it in the movies.

"I don't know, I'm not a zombie radar!"

I watched him grab a cart and followed him through the isles. We each had two big trash bags that the club had been using to transfer supplies to the shelter.

"Shhh! What if someone hears you?"

"They'll know I'm not a zombie and if a zombie hears me we'll have a shit load of time before it gets us. Those fuckers move slow!'

Puck led us to the canned goods section and start hurling random cans into the shopping cart.

We were asked to get food, no water, and see if we could find medical kits. When the cart was filled to the point of physically overflowing Puck started loading up his trash bag with the multi-colored cans. He motioned for me to start doing the same, but I just held the bag open when he dropped cans into it.

"Tie it up and throw it in the cart, we're going to find camping shit," he said running with the cart to the other end of the store.

"Puck, what the hell? Why do we need all this stuff?"

"I want to leave, like tonight. No joke. I'm leaving, on your shift, and you're coming with me."

He grabbed three random backpacks that looked huge. Like those ones hikers use.

"I'm not going anywhere, so you can put one of those back," I growled.

"No fucking way you're backing out of this. Santana we are going to _die_ in that place. We won't be able to survive and if more zombies come here they're going to over power us. I want to go to the capital, up north? There should be an actual military base or medic tents or _something_ set up there. Up in Columbus?"

"Congratulations, you learned the capital of your own state!" I mocked.

"It's not funny!'

He continued to angrily throw sleeping bags and canteens and an armful of medical kits on top of the cart.

"It's _funny_ that you think I'm going with you! It's _funny_ that you think I'm letting Brittany go with you!"

"Shhh!" he hissed suddenly stopping.

"What? What the fuck is it?"

Groaning.

Moaning.

I could smell something dirty and rotting.

My blood was like ice and my muscles all locked in place.

"Shhhh..." Puck motioned to the door but I couldn't move.

"Come on Lopez," he whispered. "Think about Brittany or something."

I nodded and swallowed, trying to breathe again.

Puck grabbed my arm and started walking fast towards the smashed sliding doors. My joints were stiff and I felt like every noise was too loud, especially my heart beating erratically. Blood was rushing in my ears and had to read Puck's lips when he said to stay quiet.

I nodded numbly and followed him out the doors, he had managed to push the car through the holes.

"Get with it Lopez," he shouted, breaking into a jog. "You'd never last in the Guard!"

I wasn't ready to move yet. The smell was covering my whole mouth, like when you smell so much of something you can taste it? That was what was happening to me. It tasted like I imagined raw chicken would tasted like, or bad milk.

Puck was almost thirty feet away from me when he turned and saw I hadn't moved an inch.

"Cut the shit Lopez! You think you can protect Brittany?"

Fuck don't go there.

"You think you can keep her away from all this shit when you can't even move you're so scared?"

Oh my god he was making my stomach twist.

"She'll be _dead_ before you even get the fucking chance!'

_Fuck._

It felt like someone zapped me with a hot brander or something because all of a sudden I was so hot and I was running so fast and my arm was pulling back and my fingers tightening.

Puck spat blood onto the sidewalk.

"_SHIT LOPEZ!_"

I was panting. I felt like my fingers were broken. Lima Heights Adjacent, bitch.

"Don't talk about that. Don't _fucking_ talk about that shit!"

I was full blown screaming at him. I didn't care what he said about me, what he said about anything. He could have fucking _thrown_ me to those fucking zombies before he was allowed to talk about Brittany dying like that.

"I was trying to get you to move, idiot," he groaned, palming his chin.

"Just don't fucking talk about that..." I mumbled looking to the ground.

"Fine. Fine. Let's just go."

Puck grabbed the cart and started pushing it away from the shelter and down to store front that had its whole display window destroyed.

"My truck's in here, I'll drop half of this stuff off and...then we can go back."

I nodded and watched him throw most of the camping stuff into the back of his car. He then handed me on of the trash bags and literally picked up the shopping cart and whipped it down the street. It clattered and made a lot of metal scrapping sounds as it skidded to a stop on the pavement.

We started walking back and I started thinking. If Puck wanted to go off and find his way to the capital...I would go. If this town was crawling with these zombies like that then I would rather be moving than staying in one spot like a sitting duck. The more I looked around the more I saw zombies. They were mostly trapped inside buildings, too stupid to break out, but once they did and they started starving...they would be looking for us. I wouldn't be one to get eaten, and I wasn't going to let Brittany get eaten either.

"I'll go with you."

Puck didn't turn around.

"Good."

* * *

><p>When we got back I ate lunch with Brittany (some beef stew, yummy). We played cards with Puck and sat in a corner and Brittany read quietly to me from that book. It was actually Peter Pan. She started over and read the whole thing to me. We played cards with Puck, and watched him scratch at the bruise on his chin. (We told everyone he slipped on a can and did a face plant...on his chin, yeah.)<p>

Dinner turned into more pineapples. And another crazy eights competition. Mercedes won, I let Brittany beat me again. I felt sick though, I was scared. I wanted to tell Brittany we were leaving, like tonight, but she wouldn't want to go. We were going to have to keep her quiet somehow...

The sirens went off again. It was loud and piercing and echoed. Finn started crying. I thought Rachel was going to cry too, but she just rubbed his back. Brittany teared up and held my hand but she didn't cry. Eventually she crawled into my arms and fell asleep when they finally shut off. Everyone was high strung, the air felt a lot heavier as people started going to sleep. I wanted to ask Puck if we should leave still when everyone was so on edge but I couldn't without someone hearing.

* * *

><p>"Santana," Mercedes whispered. "Your turn girl."<p>

She handed me Mr. Schue's wristwatch and almost immediately fell onto her cot.

I got up and slid Brittany's head out of my lap. I draped my blanket over her and waited for like, an hour before I was absolutely sure everyone was asleep.

I poked Puck in the side a couple of times until he mumbled and slowly got up.

I watched him tie his boots and pull all his layers on and then winter jacket. I pulled on the rest of my layers and jacket and then grabbed Brittany's.

"She's going to hate me," I whispered so low I couldn't hear myself.

Puck nodded in the darkness.

"I'll pick her up," he whispered and I could barely hear him through the ringing silence. "And we'll both try to keep her quiet."

I nodded and walked over to her cot.

I took a deep breath and tried to settle my nerves. The worst would be if she cried and screamed...if that happened we wouldn't be able to go. We would have to fake something and go back to sleep. The best would be if she went willingly. In the back of my mind though I knew she wouldn't. Brittany was too good of a person to leave people hanging like we were about to make her.

I brushed her side bangs out of her face and it felt like déjà vu from high school.

"Santana...?" she mumbled. I held my breath and stroked her cheek. This was going to be hard.

"Yeah Brittany," I whispered, kneeling to try and keep my voice as low as possible. "Puck's going to pick you up...and we're going to move you, okay? You need to be quiet because everyone is asleep."

"O...kay," she drawled through a yawn. I couldn't help but smile at her.

Puck bent down and slipped his arms under her and Brittany wrapped her arms around his neck.

He kept hushing her as I led him up the stairs, thanking whatever god was out there that she didn't notice the movement or fell back asleep. When I opened the door though everything in my body stopped. Heart attack, stroke, blackout, something happened to make me freeze.

It was tight, quick breathes. It was Brittany and Puck right behind me. It was Brittany waking up. It was everything slowly crumbling because she was waking up and moving in Puck's arms and I think my ears started to bleed because even though she said it so softly I heard it so, so loud.

"Put me down."

* * *

><p><strong>Oh god that took me forever to write. But it was mostly all in one sitting and once I had the beginning down it all came together...Anyways I want to apologise for being about four days late! with this update. So sorry guys! Hope I didn't lose anyone. Hopefully you can expect another update by Sunday...which gives me about a week. Unless I get it written before but it usually takes me about two days to write a chapter. Anyways hope you all review! I know you wanna ;) But seriously love love love all the reviews I've already gotten and the alerts and favorites and everything! You guys make my days when I see all these things in my email. <strong>

**Happy Reading!**


	6. Ch 5  Living, Breathing, Deceiving 1

**Chapter 5: Living, Breathing, Deceiving Part 1**

She was asleep. She was still asleep and it made me let out the pounds of oxygen I had been holding in. Brittany was in that delirious state. She was incoherent, she didn't know what was _actually _happening.

"Shh," Puck whispered as he walked passed me.

"Don't..." she whined softly.

It made me smirk as I hugged her layers tighter to my body so I could close the door. I felt kind of bad leaving the door unlocked (not that I could lock it anyways) and giving the zombies a way in. But I closed the heavy door anyways and started walking towards Puck.

Puck was struggling then though. Brittany was waking up, like really waking up. Fuck, shit, damnit.

"Puck, let me down..." she mumbled.

"It's okay Britt," Puck said trying to calm her. I didn't think I could move from my spot.

"No," Brittany continued getting louder. "No one's out here and it's cold. I wanna go back inside. Put me down."

"Santana's out here," Puck said, and hearing my name melted my muscles back into movement.

"Yeah Britt, I'm here."

"I don't care. Let me down."

Puck did what she asked.

"Brittany please just wait," I was begging.

She was walking toward me. It was going to be okay, I would be able to convince her. And then she walked _passed_ me. She gripped the handle of the door and was whipping it back—

_The hell?_

The door wasn't moving. Brittany tugged and pulled, her face scrunching up with the effort.

She pouted.

"How did you guys lock the door?"

I shook my head, why the fuck _wasn't_ the door opening?

"We didn't..." Puck was mumbling as he walked forward and grabbed the knob, placing his foot on the side of the building. He pulled and the door opened a few inches before slamming shut again. Someone was _fucking holding_ the door closed. Who the fuck would do that?

Puck took a breath and then whipped the door open and Finn came flying out—

I landed on the ground, Brittany's layers doing _nothing_ to cushion the fall. Fall on my _back_ with and added two hundred pounds or whatever Finn...ack..._weighed_.

"Shit..." he groaned.

"You fucking _idiota! __Quita tu maldito cuerpo de encima de mi! Maldito desconsiderado__!_"

Finn jumped off me and I got up, ready to beat the fucking _shit_ out of him.

"What's going on?" Mr. Schue asked all of a sudden.

Fuck.

"Mr. Schue!" Finn shouted. "Puck, Santana, and Brittany were all going to leave and steal your watch! They even left the door unlocked so those zombies could kill us!"

Of everything and he brought up the fucking wrist watch.

* * *

><p>"If you really want to leave Puck...no one's stopping you."<p>

I was shaking mad. Literally. How the _fuck_ did Finn wake up? Brittany said like three words and that fucking woke the sleeping giant.

"You're making me sound bad," Puck...whined? No groaned. He was fucking pissed too. "It's not cause I don't wanna be stuck with you guys in a shelter...it's not! I just _need_ to get out there and figure this shit out. I want to go to the capitol and find the fucking red cross or army or..._something_!"

Brittany was sitting on her cot, scratchy blanket wrapped around her shoulders. I wanted to kiss and hold her. Just _touch_ her, but she would get all weird about it. She wasn't crying...she just had that dumb look on her face.

WAIT. No, not like she _is_ dumb. No. Like the _look_ is dumb. I didn't like the way it made her eyes look dark or the way her lips were in a line. Brittany isn't dumb or stupid...

"And you want to go too, Santana?" Mr. Schuester again.

I shook my head and ran my hand through my hair. I wanted to scream and scream, and kick and spit until I fell over from exhaustion.

"I don't..."

Puck's eyes were drilling holes into me.

"I...told Puck I'd go," I mumbled.

Mr. Schue's face crumpled and Finn started grumbling.

Mercedes was sitting next to Sam and they both were starring daggers at me. Everyone thought it was bad that we...tried to steal(?) Brittany.

Shit.

I had done it again. I was still fucking making all these decisions for her! God damn it. I wanted more than anything to be an equal with her. I felt like she was so high up compared to me. Like I was this child and she was an adult. Puck was just a factor.

"I want to go get help!" Puck insisted. "I'll come back, dudes."

I could see the doubt in everyone's eyes. It made me want to hate myself. But none of these people tried to stay close with me. Not that I tried with them, but I didn't _want_ to be close to any of them. I just wanted...Brittany.

"Brittany did you want to go with them?"

* * *

><p><em>I flop down on my towel, panting and laughing. We're at some lake near her grandparents' house. Brittany's laughing too. We just got out of the water. Brittany flops down next to me and grins so big her face could split in two. It makes me laugh harder. <em>

_ "San! I wanted to catch some of the little fish!"_

_ "I know B! They were way too fast!"_

_ She pouts but starts laughing again, grabbing some of the coarse sand in her palm. I watch her dig her feet under it too and she rolls over onto her back. _

_ "Do you ever feel like...like you just want to quit school?" I ask._

_ "What?" _

_ I sigh and turn to lie on my side._

_ "Like, this is so perfect. Why the hell would you want to ruin it by going to school?"_

_ She rolls to face me and has this giant smile on her face._

_ "I love this! Especially hanging out with you and your sweet lady kisses. And since my mom promised she'd take Lord Tubbington to the spa. He gets stressed out when he tries to quit smoking. But, like I miss Quinn sometimes, and Glee Club."_

_ She shrugs and grabs my hand with her sandy palm. _

_ "I guess it's just easier to be like this when all those people aren't around," I mumble and thread my fingers through hers._

_ "Yeah, duh. I'm the best. And my grandparents don't care what we do! It's so awesome."_

_ "Mhmm. Not everything. Your grandma caught us trying to sneak out here last night, B."_

_ She groans and kisses my knuckles._

_ "I shouldn't have squeaked...But I thought I saw a mermaid. I swear, like, no joke San."_

_ I laugh and can't help rolling on top of her so I'm straddling her. I kiss her quick on the cheek and then look around. No one is left on this beach, and no one would care either way. (That's a lie, but I can pretend.)_

_ Brittany rests her hands on my hips and rubs circles with her thumbs. I lean forward and press my lips hard against thin, pink ones. _

_ "I wish you'd...do this...at home..." Brittany mutters through our kisses. _

_ The kisses are light and teasing, nothing too wet and sloppy...yet._

_ "What does that mean?" I growl, smirking at her. "I've done a lot more than this on your bed, B."_

_ "No, I know that. I just wish that we could kiss and stuff in front of people."_

_ A chuckle vibrates through my throat as I place my lips to the column of her throat._

_ "I don't think people want to see this," I whisper into her skin. "Besides," I say leaning back. "I want you all to myself."_

_ "Not even just doing this?" Brittany whines, suddenly sitting up and making me slide back to sit on her thighs. Her arms wrap around my back, fingers teasing up and down my spine. _

_ Her lips are sealed tight as she quickly pecks my lips. The blood rushes to my cheeks and I pray to god that she doesn't see the blush._

_ "Not even that Britt," I breathe out shakily. _

_ It was just a touch of lips but it leaves my head swimming and my chest expanding in fucking frantic breathes. _

_ Brittany rests her forehead to my shoulders and speaks into my neck: _

_ "I wish though..."_

* * *

><p>"Do you really want to leave?" Brittany asked softly.<p>

I tried to look anywhere but her face. It was so innocent and so confused at the same time. Brittany didn't care that we took her out of the shelter, thank what ever god is out there. Shit. This was why I loved her so damn much; she always forgave me. Almost.

"I don't—I don't want to die."

"What?" She squeaked.

We were in a corner of the room. It was still late at night, or early, early in the morning. I didn't know the exact fucking time. I just knew it was still dark. Puck was outside with the guys, minus Artie, and Rachel wouldn't leave Finn's side. It was like she was his third leg or something.

"Think about it..." I grumbled, trying to keep my voice from sounding thick. The tears were stinging at the backs of my eyes.

Zombies, zombies, and more zombies. They knew we were sitting here, they had to. From all the movies I'd seen they were always smarter than they looked. Eventually they would work their way in here and we'd be zombie chow. Fuck.

Brittany tugged her blanket tighter around her shoulders. She eyed me wearily before sitting down on the cot opposite mine. I looked around to see Tina busying herself with counting cans again and Mercedes trying not to fall asleep under her blanket. Artie was asleep in his tool of a chair.

"We can't all live off crap from Wallmart," I started. "What happens when we use everything up? If we sit and wait more of those zombies are gonna come. They'll find a way in, I know it, and then—well they get us. I don't want to die if I have a chance to live Britt."

Brittany was silent. She was starring straight through me and it made me queasy.

"Please, I don't want to die like that. I don't want _you_ to die like that."

My lips were shaky with the words. I still ached to touch Brittany. It seemed like she was all mighty and if I touched her I would bring her down, six feet under, with me. I took a deep breath.

"Not if I can help it. Let me protect you."

The whispers were so stressed and heated, I was surprised Tina didn't turn around to watch. I didn't care at that point if she heard or not. I was going to fucking break myself a million times over to convince Brittany to go with us. I was beyond caring what other people thought or if they saw me making a complete and damned fool of myself.

"Santana..." Brittany sighed.

"No." I was so afraid she wouldn't go. If Brittany decided to stay with this ass of a club I thought my heart would rip in two.

"Please. Please just say you'll go."

"This isn't, like, high school. San, you can't always protect me."

"Brittany _please_."

I was begging.

Brittany sighed again and tugged the blanket even tighter to her body. "Okay..."

My eyes popped out of my head.

"Okay? Yes?"

"...Yes," she whispered.

* * *

><p>There was a <em>group <em>hug. A fucking group hug? I tried to stay far away from it, but of course once Brittany started to pout I let myself be pulled in. My stomach was in knots the whole time. I was touching people I'd rather forget. They must have all been pretending that they'd miss me because I sure as hell wouldn't miss them. Maybe Schue. _Maybe _I would miss him, but only because he could die and...other feeling shit.

"Lopez let's go!" Puck growled playfully. "You too Pierce."

"You're all sure this is what you want?" Rachel Treasure-Trail Berry. "This is an _extremely_ important decision you are making and the repercussions could be deadly."

I couldn't believe she fucking said that! To our faces too.

I turned to find Brittany starring passed Rachel. Her blonde hair was pulled back in a high pony, reminding me of cheerios. I smirked at Rachel as Puck rolled his eyes.

"Berry we already figured this shit out," I hissed.

"We're going. We get it. We're good. Now goodbye!" Puck chanted (jokingly?) as he climbed the stairs.

Brittany followed him and I followed Brittany.

Okay, I couldn't fucking lie completely to myself. I would miss the sheer security in the numbers from them all. I would miss the six inch thick walls of cement.

Mr. Schue had been creepy sometimes in high school, Sam had been the blonde Bieber, Mercedes the second most annoying diva, Rachel _the most_ annoying, Finnocence the jerk who outed me, Tina pretending to have a problem (stuttering—_really_?), Mike thinking he could out-dance Brittany, Artie calling Brittany stupid...

None of them deserved to die though. Well, maybe Finn deserved to die—fucking waking up from _three words—_but no. Not die. He deserved to be hung by his thumbs. No, that would just make him taller. He deserved to be shrunk to Rachel Berry's size. Becoming part of the _dwarf's_ kind would be punishment enough.

I closed the door behind me and heard the multiple locks click into place. We were really on our own now.

We followed Puck through the dark. It was hard to see him in his black jacket and camouflage pants, but keeping track of Brittany was easy with her light colored coat.

"Keep quiet," Puck whispered. "We're going to my truck...remember Lopez?"

I didn't remember shit about where his truck was parked. Especially now that it was dark.

"No," I said softly. "I was in a panic, remember idiot?"

Puck humphed and started jogging down what used to be main street. I could hear all the groans of those fuckers and it made my legs pump harder. We all tried to be quiet, but eventually those things started following us. It was only, like three of them but that scared the shit out of me.

When we got to that garage Puck started yelling.

"SHIT!"

It was loud and he stopped abruptly making me slam into him.

"What? What the hell is wrong?" I was panicking. Those three were getting closer and I didn't want to wait to be their dinner.

"Those little FUCKERS!" Puck growled, screaming the last part.

Finally I saw what he was so upset about. Someone or some_thing_ had smashed the front windshield of the pick up and popped most of the tires. Shit, shit, shit. Hold yourself the fuck together Lopez!

"It must have been those fuckers!" Puck hissed pointing to the three zombies about a block away from us. "They left all the stuff I have in the back seat...shit. Lopez where's your car?"

"Oh, it's just sitting in the garage down the street; I had it waxed and tuned up," I spat using all the sarcasm I could muster. "Where do you _think_ it is? It's bee burning to a crisp in front of that shelter for two days Puck!"

Puck grabbed what little hair he had on his head and groaned.

"Those things are coming closer..." Brittany whispered.

She was right too. The zombies, peeling flesh and all, were about thirty feet from us now.

"Okay...okay..." Puck was mumbling to himself. He jumped up then and whipped open the back door, grabbing all three hiking packs.

"We'll walk then," he said, more to himself than me and Brittany. "We'll walk as far as we can and see if we can find another car. Lopez, grab this!"

He heaved a pack at me and I stumbled back as I struggled to catch it.

"What the hell is in this thing?" I asked, shocked at the weight. "Bricks?"

"Food, water, supplies? Shit we need to live dude!" Puck said while handing the second pack to Brittany. She frowned at the weight of it but managed to swing it over her shoulder.

"Hurry up Puck," I said panic setting in again. I was starting to sweat even.

"Hold on..."

He had swung his pack on his shoulders and was digging through the back seat looking for something. I watched Brittany's face as it changed from indifferent to a genuine pout. I felt bad making her leave, but she had said yes, right?

"Here!"

Puck emerged wielding a crowbar. Who the fuck has a crowbar hidden in their car?

"What is that gonna do?" I asked, eying the approaching zombies.

"This."

Puck ran forward and swung the bar back before slashing the first zombie across the face. His head tumbled to the ground and his body fell soon after. Blood was spilling out as Puck kicked a second zombie, sending it down, and then hit the third with the crowbar. Two decapitated zombies were bleeding out on the pavement. Puck drove the weapon into the second zombies temple, making a squishing sound.

I wanted to throw up and I was sure Brittany whimpered.

"Okay, let's go," Puck yelled and motioned for us to follow him again. His face was hard and sweaty and the crowbar was all bloody.

"There should be a map in one of these bags, I think it's in Brittany's," he was saying as he walked away. "But we'll just go through the woods for now. There's less people there which means less zombies."

When the hell did he get so _all knowing_ about _zombies_?

As Brittany started walking I took a deep breath and reached for her hand. She gave me this look that made me want to chop my own arm off, but then it softened. She smiled, small, and wrapped her pinkie around mine. I wanted to make this normal somehow, fucking impossible, right? But I needed to try. So if linking pinkies was a way to bring this back to a happier place, then I would do it. For her and me.

* * *

><p>"Puck, where's the other sleeping bag?" I asked ruffling through my bag.<p>

We had stopped walking a while ago and Puck refused to start a fire: "_It attracts zombies._"

I was getting tired of him and his survival shit. But it was keeping me alive so I would deal with it...for now. We had walked through the woods on the edge of town. Puck didn't even know if we were headed in the right direction, but he didn't care either. As long as we were far away from those things.

"Did you check all the packs?" he asked as he walked over.

I had found two and threw them on the ground.

"Yeah, I can't find it. I saw you grab three of them."

I thought walking in the woods at night would have been dark. Like pitch black or whatever it's like in the country. Except there was light from the moon. So much that we didn't need to use flashlights or anything.

"Britt have you looked at all?"

Brittany was sitting, her arms wrapped loosely around her knees. She shook her head and continued to stare at the dirt and rocks on the ground.

"What''s her problem?" Puck whispered as he started pulling things out of his pack.

"Well, first we tried to _steal_ her as everyone says, and now she's come willingly to frolic with the zombies and us. Nope, no problem there."

I was pissed she was sad and I didn't know how to fix it.

"Jesus, calm down, bitch," Puck mumbled, starting to put the supplies back and moving onto the next back pack.

"...Sorry," I whispered. "It's just I feel like I forced her to come...I don't know. I'm not talking feelings with you Puckerman."

He snorted and started looking through the third pack.

"I don't wanna either Lopez, but it's Brittany."

"So?"

"It's _Brittany_, bitch." He smirked and glanced up at me. "Come on, go be all gooshy with her. I know you wanna. I will if you don't."

"I'd knife you first..." I mumbled and couldn't help the smile that worked its way to my lips.

I walked over to Brittany and dropped down next to her.

"Hey," I said.

She nodded her head and made a "mhmmph" sound. Like, was she a fucking camel now?

"Are you feeling okay, Britt?"

When I tried to touch her knee she shifted away.

"What's wrong?" I asked softer.

She shook her head and sighed.

"So there's only two sleeping bags." Puck stood in front of us holding the two of them up. "I grabbed some weird double sleeping bag. It looked like two, but you guys could share. It's no big deal."

My stomach started bubbling. I was going to get to share a bed with Brittany. I was going to be able to touch her and hold her. Heat flashed through my body at the thought and the pit of my stomach seemed to tighten. I was going to get to do all that on the cold, hard, _dirt_, ground. What a mood killer.

Wanky.

"I don't want to sleep with Santana..." Brittany mumbled.

My breathing went ragged. Or stopped. I couldn't tell the difference.

"Why Britt?" Puck asked, kneeling down.

"I don't want to sleep with either of you." She was being so quiet.

Puck chuckled and dropped the sleeping bags on the ground.

"You don't have to have, like _sex_ with us. That would be hot, and Puckasaurous hasn't gotten any action since last week, but yeah we're not sleeping together to have sex. It's just cause we have that retard of a sleeping bag...Lopez?"

I had just flinched so hard at the word "_retard_" that my neck cramped. I was ready for an onslaught of tears or a pout or something. But Brittany's expression didn't change. Fuck, I was so stuck in high school.

"Nothing!" I whined, kneading my fingers desperately at the tightening muscles.

Puck rolled his eyes at me and continued talking to Brittany.

"Just sleep with Santana okay? It's cold out here and you'll be warmer with her next to you."

"Yeah Britts," I said trying to figure her out. "We'll be warm and Puck will lose his toes tonight."

My neck was burning and my stomach dropped when I heard the throaty breath tumble passed her lips.

"I don't _want_ to sleep with you Santana," she said firmly. "We left them. We left and I said I would...but if you two think we'd have died...then why did you let them stay? They don't need to die. I can't believe I forgot to bring Lord Tubbington too..."

I looked up, expecting to see tears in her eyes, but Brittany was just pouting. She looked so sad.

"Britt let's sleep on it," I suggested. "We can figure that all out in the morning. And Lord Tubbington could kill all these zombies if he wanted to. He'll be fine."

She didn't nod or shake her head just sighed again and pulled her hair out of its pony tail. The blonde of her hair was highlighted by the moon light and it was so bright. It made my heart thump in my chest.

Puck handed me the weird double sleeping bag and helped me spread it out on the ground. I tried to make sure there were no rocks or sticks underneath it. There were built in pillows...If I was ever to sleep on the ground again this would be the sleeping bag I chose.

Brittany unzipped it roughly and climbed in, keeping to one side like her life depended on it.

"I don't hear anything out here," Puck whispered when I started going through my pack for one of the canteens Puck had filled with water.

I nodded and scanned the area quickly.

"It feels like there's nothing out here."

He climbed into his sleeping bag and rested the crowbar across his chest. The blood on it was dried now. Puck had wiped it off with some leaves but there was still a little left on the tip.

"We'll hear them before they get on top of us," Puck said confidently. "I'll beat the shit out of them again..."

"Okay."

"Yeah...night."

Puck rolled the crowbar through his palms. I didn't know if he thought it'd be comforting to see the bloody bar in his hands or not. It wasn't. It made me feel like I was sleeping near a mad man. But he was a mad man who would beat up zombies, so how bad could that be?

I sucked down some water and then scrambled inside the sleeping bag. It wasn't until then that my mind seemed to register just how cold it had become. Minutes later I was shivering, teeth chattering violently. Brittany was too. It made me mad that she wouldn't cuddle with me. Especially when it was so fucking cold outside.

"Britt," I whispered and touched her back.

She shrugged me off and tightened in her ball.

"Hey pl-please come -ere. I-It's too c-cold."

"N-no."

Brittany was just as cold as me and she was being stubborn. It reminded me of high school which brought a smile to my face. It made me feel like I was catching up if she was denying something that was so vital, like body heat.

Cuddling would keep us warm, but it would also be a way for me to be with Brittany. I knew we couldn't have sex or anything, (I fucking wanted to so damn bad. Britts was so hot and if it weren't for these damn zombies I would be in her pants already.) but the contact was special enough.

I sighed and curled myself in a ball trying to conserve heat. Weren't sleeping bags supposed to be good for like below zero degrees or some shit like that?

It must have been an hour before I stopped shivering. Something warm was pressing into my side. I rolled to see what it was and Brittany was trying to press her cheek further into my shoulder. She was asleep. If she does this in her sleep Lopez it must mean she's over it. That's what I thought anyways. I wrapped myself around her as much as I could, trying to touch everything.

I wanted her warmth and her sleeping body complied as she burrowed into my arms.

I fell asleep faster than I had in _years_.

* * *

><p><strong>Spanish: (Get your fucking body off me! You fucking inconsiderate ass!) Hopefully it's right all I have is an online translator.<strong>

**Hey so sorry for the way late update! I did a really long chapter, and guess what? Split it into THREE PARTS! One more part each day, so thurs= part 2, and fri= part 3! And then we'll continue with the whole once a week dealio.**

**Anyways I blame my laptop! The fucking thing's motherboard decided to crash and then along with it went the first part of this chapter (that of course is the one part i didn't back up) so that went on and depressed me into not writing and then I was waiting for a chance to write/inspiration/motivation and then THE KISS!**

**Which was AH-MAZING! But that made me just want to write things about kissing and lovey dovey stuff, which this isn't so I read a bunch of stuff. But today's episode didn't do anything for me so I thought I'd write this out. YAY! So review you guys! I really hope people enjoy this...please review so I know! And thanks for continued support! Hope I didn't lose anyone! **

**Rose :)**


	7. Ch 5 Living, Breathing, Deceiving 2

**Chapter 5: Living, Breathing, Deceiving Part 2**

_"Brittany?" I asked. _

_ I didn't know where I was. The room was all white, but the lights were off and I was sitting on a bed with lots of pillows and a fluffy comforter. I looked around and realized I was naked. What the fuck was going on?_

_ "San?"_

_ Brittany was standing, _naked_, in corner of the room. She walked over and crawled onto the bed and then on top of me. _

_ "What's going on? Where are we?"_

_ "Shhh! San you wanted this, let me do it."  
>"Brittany what the hell are you talking about?"<em>

_ She didn't answer but snaked her arm between our bodies and cupped my sex. She pressed her fingers tight to me, teasing me, pressing in but not all the way. My breath came in pants. She pressed her lips to my boob and kissed my nipples. _

_ "Brittannny."_

_ It was a groan and it tumbled passed my lips before it registered in my head. I was so wet. And she was teasing me. Fuck! Uh, her palm was pressing against my clit. _

_ My nipples were so hard they hurt. She was pinching one and sucking on the other. I started moaning. I couldn't keep it in, she made me feel so _good_. She pressed the flat of her tongue to the valley between my boobs and licked her way to my belly button. She slurped around it and continued her path down. Goose bumps were popping up all over my skin. _

_ Her fingers were working me over slowly. She pinched one of my nipples and I squeaked. Brittany giggled against my clit. I moaned. I was throbbing in her hand, my hands threading through my own hair. Then I could feel the wetness of her mouth on me; sucking, hard, on my nerves. It was literally making me flood with warm as my stomach dropped. While she sucked on my clit, her tongue probing, she slipped three fingers inside me. That by itself made me catch my breath. _

_ I was gasping and moaning and trying hard to meet with her thrusts. Trying _so_ hard. _

_ "Stop moving," she whispered. Her voice dripped with lust and sex. _

"Stop moving, San."

My eyes fluttered open. My heart was pounding and my stomach throbbing with want.

Shit, another fucking dream. A good fucking dream. I _needed_ to get over all this shit and get back in Brittany's pants.

Suddenly I was being rolled over. Brittany looked down at me and her eyes were red rimmed. Had she been crying again?

"Why do you keep moving?" she asked softly and then rubbed her eyes with the back of her pale hand.

"Sorry I had a weird dream," I said.

She nodded and flopped back down, wrapping an arm around me and pulling the sleeping bag up to her chin.

"Now you think it's cold..." I mumbled trying to get her to smile.

She just nodded her head and pressed her nose to my arm.

I looked around, trying to find Puck. It looked like he was still asleep, going by the lump in his sleeping bag. I didn't know what time it was but the sun wasn't up yet. It was almost coming up though. Like the sky was gray because the sun was right below the horizon, kind of thing. I took a deep breath and decided. I decided to talk to Brittany about all these issues and repressed feelings and wants and fears. I needed to get it off my chest. I needed to be able to touch her without thinking so much about it.

"Brittany?" I whispered.

She mumbled, incoherent, against my coat.

"Britt, wake up. I want to talk."

I was trying to be quiet. I didn't want Puck to hear any of this.

"What?" she asked softly, turning her face.

I shimmed under the sleeping bag more, facing her, and gripped her hands with mine. It was freezing, but the heat in the bag and heat from her body was keeping me from shivering. I brought our joined hands to my mouth and blew on them, trying hard to keep her warm and show something more at the same time. She watched me with her blue eyes. They were bright and awake. Keeping track of my every movement and shifting ever so slightly when I pulled back to breath deeply before continuing to blow out hot air.

With the gray light of the morning I could see how blue her eyes really were. They were like sapphires; twinkling and enhanced with light. Closer to her pupil the blue was lighter, almost gray. And then as it moved out it got darker, but brighter. It gave her this air of innocence, especially with her blonde hair. She still looked so much like the child from high school. But this was an 'adult' (ugh air quotes) talk.

I pressed my lips to her knuckles, watching her as I did. Her mouth stayed in a line but her eyes seemed to brighten a little. I would take what I could get.

"I want to talk about everything."

I said it sternly. Almost to the point of being curt. She nodded and I could feel her fingers curling into fists.

"Okay."

She said it softly. I took another deep breath and squeezed her hands. My mind was a mess of what I wanted to voice and my throat felt tight.

"Like, I'm sorry..."

"You already said that. At the reunion."

"Yeah, but I'm sorry for other things too. I'm sorry about _that_, but for not calling you in three years and having this zombie thing happen."

"You couldn't stop the zombies," Brittany sighed.

I couldn't, but I wanted to. I would do anything for her.

"I know. I want to though. This sucks. And I'm sorry for hurting you with like trying to steal you...It's just that I want to live and I can't without you B, I just can't. I thought if I could get a better chance at it then I needed to bring you with me. Whether you wanted to or not."

My eyes were stinging. The tears were starting up. Damn it, Lopez.

"It's okay. I wish you would talk to me about it."

I nodded, breaking our handhold to wipe my eyes. The tears were starting to well up and over my eyelids. I was a mess. An emotional mess. My voice was starting to get thick, words coming out throatily. Brittany tucked her bangs behind her ear, the motion doing things to my stomach. I was still _bothered_ from that dream. Fuck me.

"No. I feel like I'm stuck back in high school, and you're just this adult. When did that happen?"

I was whispering heatedly. It hurt my throat but I was not going to let Puckerman hear any of this.

"When did you grow up and why wasn't I there? I feel like a stupid teenager still. You're so grown up and I'm not. I want to be with you again but I don't want to feel like this. I feel like I'm dragging you down."

I watched Brittany scoot closer, one arm wrapping around my back, the other brushing my tears away. When her fingers touched my cheek it burned. A good burn, familiar and easy. It also shot right to my stomach making me groan. She smiled at me, like really smiled.

"Santana, I'm not an adult," she started softly. "Well, I am legally, I think, but I still do kid things. I still love ducks and sing and I dance all the time. I don't get why you can go to school for dance if it's such a kid thing to do. But you're not a kid."

I smiled and ran a hand through my hair. I was sure I was blushing.

"You have boobs. Little girls don't have boobs. You're definitely an adult. And you go to school for adult things, not dance. I want to be with you too, but I think you need to stop thinking so hard about everything. It'll give you wrinkles. Please stop thinking so much. When I think too much it hurts my head."

I laughed and nodded. Brittany was filling me up with all these good feelings. I thought I was going to start overflowing with...rainbows and shit. Maybe even ducks.

"Yeah," I whispered nodding.

"Yeah?"

"Okay. No more thinking."

Brittany smiled and pulled me closer, so our bodies were almost flush.

"I love you, San," she whispered in my ear. I was going to pass out if she kept talking to me like she was. It was so good. Almost too good. But that was Brittany. She was so much better than _everybody_ else. I wanted to kiss her and squeeze her hard and cry with her.

"And I want to be with you," she continued. "Promise me you'll be with me after all this?"

"Uh huh, Britt," I managed through my tears. "I promise."

* * *

><p>Me and Brittany talked days ago. Puck was making us move fast. We had walked through the woods for days, trying to keep to it. We were moving north, following some map Puck had grabbed at Walmart. Columbus Ohio was far away, or so I thought. I had no concept of distance. Especially in a fucking forest.<p>

But every day was easier now that Brittany and I were back together. Even if we hadn't kissed yet. It didn't matter as long as I could hold her hand and touch her and talk. She was still sad that we left everyone behind but she didn't blame me and Puck for it. They didn't want to come with us. It was their own fault.

Brittany was still grieving, I think, too. She didn't eat that much, only nibbling on the food. She drank lots of water though. Like, maybe gallons? She guzzled down bottle after bottle. Our water was running short. We were trying to find a creek that was on Puck's map. On top of finding the creek we had to hope it wasn't frozen. The nights were getting colder and colder. Puck said it looked like snow tonight. _Snow._ I couldn't stand Brittany shivering on top of me. It drove me crazy. I just wanted to have sex with her already! Fuck. I haven't had sex in years. That doesn't mean I didn't help myself out a little, but never with another person. I couldn't do that to myself, to Brittany.

And as for zombies? We'd been avoiding them mostly. One night we could hear them groaning and Puck woke up in a frenzy, whispering (_screaming_) at us to get up and move. It was weird because I could smell them. It was like old milk, nasty and sour, but what I imagined a decaying body to smell like too. Just _gross_.

"Do you hear that?" Puck stopped dead in his tracks and looked around.

"Zombies?" Brittany asked, her voice holding an air of panic.

I gripped her hand tighter and tried to see what Puckerman was looking at. If there were more zombies I thought I would throw up.

"No, water. I hear water."

"Really?" I yelped.

We were on our last canteen. Our last canteen out of like fifteen Puck had packed.

"Yeah! Fuck I knew it. I told you I could read a damn map Lopez!" Puck screeched as he took off jogging toward the noise.

"Shut it Puckerman!" I yelled happily. "Just be happy you found it!"

"San, let's go!" Brittany smiled big and tugged my hand, following after Puck.

"Okay, okay!" I nodded and ran with her, happy with how our fingers stayed threaded. How cliché is it that all I could think about is ying and yang when I saw our fingers like that? One couldn't survive without the other and that's how it felt. We complimented each other in every way and being without Brittany for _three long years_ was the worst time of my life.

"Snow!" Brittany said, looking up in amazement at the clouded sky. It was coming down in fat, heavy flakes. It was coming down fast too, sticking on anything it touched. If we were back at home I would be thinking about how it was _good_ snow. Or what Brittany called good snow. Perfect for packing into snowmen or snowballs. Perfect for sledding once it was all pressed down. _Not_ perfect for camping in. Not perfect for lying out in a sleeping bag in.

"If we don't start a fire Puck, I swear to god I'm chopping your balls off with that crowbar of yours," I said eying the piece of metal resting against a tree.

"Yeah, yeah, okay," he said as he stood up. "I'll grab some fire wood and we can build a fire. But if any zombies come I'm never doing this again."

"Can we make a snow zombie?" Brittany asked.

Me and Puck turned to her and she looked to us with a happy expression. Like it was completely normal to play fun at zombies when they were trying to kill us.

"What?" she asked when she saw our faces.

I rolled my eyes and nodded. "Anything you want B. I hope it stops before there's enough to do that though. I don't want you to lose your toes tonight!"

Puck scoffed and started walking away from the creek, looking for wood.

"Hey you two!" he called all of a sudden. "Just because there's a fire tonight it does _not_ mean you get to get off my fire light!" I didn't need to see the smirk on his face to hear it in his voice.

"Maybe you should take extra long with that fire wood then!" I shouted back, rolling my eyes.

When Puck did come back with the fire wood the snow was coming down harder. Thank god Puck was in the guard because he got that fire lite like it was his fucking job. We even tried heating up cans of food once Puck pried the tops off with his Swiss army knife. Can opener included. Brittany sucked down a water bottle. It didn't matter anymore because the creek wasn't frozen yet and Puck had iodine or something in his bag. He said he it purified water, and he had been right about everything else so far.

"Brittany aren't you going to eat?" I asked as I stopped inhaling my own food.

It was dark, minus the light from the fire. The snow was coming down fast. We all had our hoods up. Brittany was holding her can of chicken soup but wasn't eating it. Puck had already scarfed his can down and was working on his third of our dessert, a can of clementines.

"I'm not that hungry," she said and put the can down by her shoes.

"Eat Britt," Puck said. "It's cold and you don't eat enough for how much we've been walking."

"You barely ate lunch or breakfast," I said scooting closer to her. "Please just eat that."

She eyed the can but didn't make a move for it.

"I passed out once in training cause I wasn't drinking enough water or eating enough," Puck said.

"You not eating enough?" I scoffed.

He nodded and pointed at Brittany.

"If you pass out because you're not eating we don't wanna have to carry your ass all around. Just eat it. And don't think about giving it to Lopez. If she eats anymore then _both_ of us won't be able to carry her if she passes out."

He smirked and plopped another clementine into his mouth.

He thought he was being funny. It wasn't.

"Not like we could carry you _now_ with all the food you eat, Puckerman," I growled, smirking back at him.

I heard Brittany giggle at our argument and that was all it took. She started eating the can. It made me swell with hope that she was slowly getting over her grieving. We didn't talk about her parents' deaths, but I felt like it was too soon.

Over the crackled of the fire we talked about stupid stuff. Stuff like what the clementine wedges looked like or how many colors of fire we'd ever seen. We talked about making snow angels and shaving Puck's head if we ever found a razor. It was light talk and lasted until I started yawning and Brittany was having a hard time keeping her eyes open and Puck's eyes were closed.

"Bed time," Brittany yawned, drawing the letters out.

"Hmph," Puck grunted in approval.

"What about the fire?" I asked as I pulled the double sleeping bag out of my pack.

"I'll throw the rest of the wood on it and hope it stays going," Puck said. He tossed the wood on top, making the flames attack it. It jumped a foot or two in the air, lapping at the oxygen around it and dancing with the snowflakes.

"Night Puck," Brittany said, dragging me down with her onto the sleeping bag.

"Night, make sure you get naked and keep each other warm!"

The fucking smirk on his face when he said it. That fucking smirk. I wanted to punch it off his lips. He was such a perv.

But it was cold.

"Goodnight Santana," Brittany whispered as she zipped the bag up.

"Night Britts," I mumbled, pulling her body into mine.

She pressed her nose to the juncture of my neck and shoulder and laughed when I nearly jumped out of my skin. She smelled salty, not that I smelled any better, and like fire. We all needed showers. I was willing to sell my soul I was so happy when Puck was waving around toothbrushes and toothpaste. Brittany tangled her legs with mine and sighed into me, her warm breath burning against my cold skin.

"You're so warm," she murmured.

"You're so cold," I whispered back, burying my face in her hair, after pushing her hood off.

She nodded and that's when the shivering started. It must have been because the snow hit her face or ear or something because she was shaking so hard. Her teeth were chattering like she was being paid to do it. I quickly flung her hood back on and shimmed up further into the sleeping bag.

"It's s-so c-cold!" she hissed as she flung her body almost completely on top of mine.

I was shaking now too. I blew out on her eyes lids. I wished so hard that she would warm up. Not only was it hard to feel her shake so bad, it was turning me on. She was practically convulsing and I was getting horny! What the fuck was my problem? I couldn't think too hard about it though because my mind was a fog. I was so tired. _So_ tired!

"I know..." I yawned, pulling her tighter against me. I closed my eyes and sighed trying hard to stop her shivering.

* * *

><p>Puck decided we should stay near the creek for a little while. The snow had mostly melted from the night before and Puck wanted to rest before we started running again.<p>

Brittany was still lying up against the tree in the double sleeping bag. There was still a little bit of snow on the ground from last night. That had been awful...one, because Britt was shivering so hard against me I couldn't fall asleep, two, she was all over me last night in that damn sleeping bag. She kept turning me on. I wanted her so badly it almost hurt.

The creamy skin of her face had a little dirt smudged on it. Probably because we've been out here for a week and a half now. I assumed my face didn't look any better.

"Hey Britt," I said softly. I walked over to her, unzipping my coat a little. Puck had said—and wouldn't stop saying- that if we shared our body heat we would get warmer faster. I was in fucking love with Puck because he kept saying it. '_Faster too if you're naked' _he added later smirking.

"Hi," she whispered clutching her hands together. She closed her eyes too and started puffing hot air onto her hands. I wanted to warm her up with my breath, my mouth, my tongue. Any reason to touch her I would take. I slumped down next to her, back against tree, curling inside the sleeping bag with her.

"Puck went back to the creek to get water...thank god he has that iodine," I chuckled.

Brittany nodded, but didn't open her eyes to acknowledge me. I sighed.

I was so close to her I could see the light dusting of freckles across the pale skin of her nose and cheek bones. The tips of her ears were bright red from the cold air. I couldn't help it as my hands roamed over her clothed stomach. Her lips picked up at the corners the slightest bit as my hands moved up her chest. The water proof shell of her coat didn't allow me to feel anything. Nothing besides a slight rise where her boobs should be.

I fingered the metal zipper of her coat and pulled it down agonizingly slow. I heard her breath at my ear and with my free hand brushed the blonde bangs out of her eyes, behind her ear. The skin there was burning; making shocks filter through my fingers. Maybe her ears were red for another reason.

"Santana," she said for the first time, making my stomach do somersaults. I pressed my palm flat into her stomach, now only covered by a sweater and a few thin layers. I waited for her to continue, to say that this couldn't happen right now, but after my halted motions she opened her eyes.

The blue of them was dark, flecked with even darker specks. Lust. It was like looking into a night time country sky (not that I'd been to the _country_ to see it). I could see the want in them too. She was going to let me do this, she wanted me to do it. We could fix this, pretend that stupid thing on graduation day never happened. I hoped Puck would take a while filling the canteens and water bottles!

I just needed twenty minutes, ten maybe if I hurried.

Quickly, I pushed her arms out of the jacket and flung it to the side. Her eyes were hooded at that point and I couldn't lose our starring contest. That was until she started to worry her bottom lip and I felt a heat pool between my legs. My stomach dropped a little too and I shoved my hand under the layers she was wearing, dragging my nails along her skin.

I carefully shifted so I was sitting up higher than her and reached one hand around the back of her neck. I pinched at the baby hairs there before placing my lips, hesitantly at her ear. It was burning hot. Definitelynot the cold.

"Can we...do this?" I whispered, my voice smaller than I wanted. Fuck Lopez...

"Yes," she whispered her voice breathy, and unzipped my jacket, carefully pulling my arms from the sleeves.

I smiled against her skin as I placed a kiss to her cheek and then down her jaw line.

I couldn't set a pace, there was no beat to my actions or her reactions. I pressed frantic kisses down her neck and then stopped at her pulse point. I touched the tip of my tongue to it and she shivered. It encouraged me and I latched on sucking softly. The blood pulsing beneath the skin there speeding up as I did. My stomach tightened when she groaned and I started to squeeze her neck with my fingers.

We had, like, no time though. I sat up retracting my hands and mouth from her body.

Her eyes widened (in shock? Protest?) and her pupils dilated. My fingers curled around the hem of her sweater and slipped it off, leaving her in a long sleeve Tee and a tank top. The Tee was off next and then her only remaining shirt was shoved up to her boobs. She watched me, burning holes into my skin with her hot stare, and ran her nails down my arms as I settled myself in between her legs.

"What if Puck comes back?" she whispered against my neck.

I was already tugging her body to mine and peppering her shoulder with kisses.

"Fuck him..." I murmured against her sweet skin, liking the taste I hadn't felt on my tongue for over three years.

"He'll come back...soon..."

She whimpered as I sucked the underside of her jaw.

"Don't care. He'll find something else to do," I said between open-mouthed kisses.

My arms were wrapped around her stomach, pinching, tweaking, and squeezing creamy white skin. Skin that hadn't changed in three years, only gotten softer, smoother. I ground my hips against her and smiled at her mewing.

Her breath was hot and heavy against my forehead and shoulder as I found a rhythm and rocked our cores together. I dragged my lips down her collar bone and nibbled the flesh that was starting to peak with sweat.

Brittany's hands gripped my back and neck.

The feeling of her skin sent mine aflame. Burning hot and I wanted her now. I wanted to make her feel how much I missed her, feel it from my fingers but see it and know it from my eyes. I shifted down her legs more and pressed a kiss to her stomach. I unzipped the zipper and unbuttoned the button of her pants.

She moved her hips so I could pull her pants and underwear down, only to her knees. Then my hand was cupping her sex and my breath was gone. My lungs punctured and brain numbed. Her eyes were hesitant and her lip tucked between her teeth.

I couldn't help the smile that tugged at my lips. The blush that wanted to creep onto my cheeks, I felt it already, flashing in heat. I leaned forward and kissed her neck again before playing with her sex. Fingers looked for places that always broke her.

"Grhhmm," Brittany moaned softly.

Breathy pants followed the first noise she made, signaling to me that I was doing a good job, I hadn't forgotten any spots.

"San..."

I pushed into her, my hand cramping at the angle.

"Santana-"

I covered her mouth with mine, still working her over in the palm of my hand.

Fingers gripped my cheeks and pushed me away.

"What?" I whined breathless.

Her blue eyes were big and considerably lighter in shade. The color drained from her face making her complex even paler.

"Nice show," someone grunted from behind us.

My brow creased, what the hell was Puck _doing_? Brittany's hands ran down the length of my arm and eased my fingers away, before gripping my other hand (the one not currently in her crouch) tightly.

"Fuck _off_ Puck!" I hissed.

"It's not Puck," Brittany whispered impossibly quiet.

Not Puck?

"Who the hell-"

Brittany's eyes grew and I saw terror all over her face. I lifted off her stomach and quickly pulled her pants up while she started pulling on her layers. The arousal was shocked out of me. I hadn't even looked to see who was behind us, but from the look on Brittany's face I didn't need to. I was too shocked to function much more than kneel in front of her while she layered up and then threw my coat at me.

"Don't stop because we're here!" Another voice shouted, closer this time.

I thought my heart stopped.

"Santana," Brittany whimpered, scooting over to me in her jacket now. She grabbed my arm and buried her nose in my shoulder. "They're scary..." she breathed.

"It's okay Britt..." I whispered pulling on my coat (Brittany leaving my side for that instant).

It was three guys standing ten feet from us. All covered in big puffy jackets with rips in the arms, yellow stuffing spilling out. They also wore cargo pants and dirty work boots. They all looked scruffy too, unshaven and yellowing teeth. One of them, in the back, was smoking a cigarette.

"What the fuck do you want?" I shouted, angry and hoping my fear didn't show through, not

even to Brittany.

"Feisty," the one with the cigarette growled. "Blondie looks funner."

My stomach clenched and I felt Brittany hide her head in my shoulder.

"You're not finding out," I snapped.

His eyebrows cocked and he walked the ten feet separating us.

"Get up," he said, and puffed on his cigarette.

The smoke swirled down to my face and invaded my mouth and nose. Brittany choked out a gasp as she smelled it. She hated it when I tried smoking for a few weeks. The smell drove her crazy. Her grip tightened around my arm and jacket, effectively pulling me flush to her chest.

"No," I told him hoping my voice was stronger than I felt.

His mouth gaped and he turned around to the others for a minute.

"She said 'no'!" he cried sarcastically, making the rest of his gang laugh.

"Then blondie can get up," he hissed, spit and smoke crashing into my face. "I could hear her moaning for more ten yards back. She needs to be _filled_."

The skin on my neck was heated from Brittany's face flushing against it. My hands were shaking so hard; I thought it was physically impossible for my muscles to strain any harder. I wanted to smash my fists into his rotting teeth. Stab his goddamn cigarette into his eyes and burn them.

They could say or do anything to me, _anything_, but not to Brittany. If one of his fucking eyelashes got blown by the wind in her direction I would snap his neck. Brittany's grip on my arm tightened and her free arm snaked around my waist. She whimpered and I could feel the tears stinging the backs of my eyes.

"Go to hell," I said and spat at him.

The wad hit him right on the nose with a good _smack_ of slime against skin.

His gray eyes widened and he growled.

Shit, that was the stupid... My heart beat pounded. Attacking my rib cage like it was a punching bag. I was taking insane breaths, filling my lungs until I felt dizzy from so much oxygen. Brittany couldn't survive that, and I...can. Whatever they would throw at me I could take. I was stronger than her, mentally, though she was physically in better shape.

"Come on Rodger, get some or leave it!" A guy yelled from behind him.

Leave. Leave. Leave, leave, leave, leave...

Rodger's cigarette fell from his mouth and he wiped my spit off his nose.

"You little bitch!" he yelled and lunged at me.

The wind was knocked out of me, leaving me gasping in a heap below him. I had managed to shove Brittany away when he lunged at me. I tried to claw at his eyes but he pushed my face into the dirt making my arms go awry.

"SANTANA!"

Brittany was screaming.

"Fuck off blondie," Rodger was saying as he grabbed Brittany's wrist.

She was trying to hit him. For me.

"Don't talk to her, don't touch her," I growled.

The dirt and grime from the ground was getting into my mouth. A fucking pebble or something was digging into my temple.

Rodger stood up and I rolled over and kicked him in the balls. He yelled and fell over onto his ass. Brittany was on the sleeping bag again, her hands blocking her face. He was going to fucking hit her!

"Britt it's okay," I said and crawled over next to her.

"San there's still guys over there," she whimpered and pointed in their direction.

"Fuck them, I need to beat the shit of this one."

Her eyes widened and her mouth parted.

"No you don't!" she hissed. The innocent blue of her eyes made me want to believe it.

But Rodger was going to rape one of us, and if I hurt him it was more likely gonna be me. I would not let him touch her again.

* * *

><p><em>"San..." she mumbles against my neck. <em>

_ I'm crying and I can't stop. It's not because I love her so much, but I do, it's because life is so fucking unfair. I cry because I can't be myself around my family or at school, not in the locker rooms, especially not in public. _

_ Brittany is my giant pillow. I'm sprawled across her body and she's holding me. _

_ "I don't like it when you cry," she whispers and pulls me closer. _

_ "Sorry," I grumble, my voice is rough. _

_ I sit up and roll off her so I'm smooshed in between her and the back of the couch. I wipe at my eyes with the heels of my hands as she runs her fingers down my arm. _

_ "No I'm sorry," she says. _

_ "Why?" I laugh. "You didn't do anything."_

_ "Sorry they don't love you like I do."_

_ I roll my eyes and tug her hand around my stomach. _

_ "I'm glad they don't love me like you _do_," I laugh again mostly just to make her happy, make it seem like I'm over my crying spree._

_ She sits up and frowns. "No I'm sorry they don't love you like I do. Like, they don't accept you San. I'm sorry."_

_ What she says claws deep into my chest and has another wave of fucking tears running down my face. I wipe at them again until they're gone. _

_ "It's okay..." It's totally not. "It's not you're fault..." Nope. "I just want to be with you Brittany." Duh._

_ She wraps herself around me tighter and nuzzles into my shoulder. _

_ "I just want to be with you too Santana."_

_ I sigh and curl into her hug. _

* * *

><p><strong>Hey guys! Part three coming up tomorrow! this is a little later in the day, but it's still thursday, where I am anyways. Please, please review and favorite and alert. But mostly review. If all you guys who favorited reviewed I would be the happiest person in the world! And if everyone reviewed who alerted I would be blown away! <strong>

**Oh...and as a side note reviews=happy authors and that= quick updates. I know I said I was going to do the once a week update thing, but if people start reviewing I would update a lot faster. Like maybe even every two days or something...think about? ;) **

**Basically, if you review a lot today I will update by SATURDAY! that means on top of part 3 you'll get chapter 6. How awesome would that be? awesome! Wake me up with reviews you guys!**

**XRose**


	8. Ch 5 Living, Breathing, Deceiving 3

**Chapter 5: Living, Breathing, Deceiving Part 3**

* * *

><p><em>"What's that smell?" Brittany asks. <em>

_ "I don't smell anything, B."_

_ Brittany is sitting next to me. We're in the damn choir room listening to Mr. Schuester talk about something remotely related to music. She scoots her chair closer to mine on the riser and grabs my hand, squeezing softly. _

_ "Tired?" I whisper as she leans her head against my shoulder. _

_ She nods, yawning as if to make a point. _

_ Glee club is the most boring class I've ever taken...and that's saying a lot since computer apps is taught by, like, the most boring teacher ever. _Now press _tab. Really? Fuck off and get on with it. At least I sit on the top of the risers, where Schue can't always see what I'm doing and I can see everything everyone else is doing. Like Brad. _

_ He's like a statue...freakin' weirdo. He doesn't move unless you talk directly to him or if he's playing his fucking piano. Brittany says she saw him diggin' for gold one time...but I don't believe her. Yes I do, that's a total lie. I believe _everything_ Brittany says. But that's fucking disgusting. I won't ever be fantasizing about doin' the dirty with Britt on that piano again._

_ "I can still smell it," Brittany mumbles. _

_ Her breath hits my neck and I shiver at the sensation. I shrug as gently as I can, trying not to disrupt her. _

_ "Maybe Puckerman started smoking again..." I whisper in her ear. "Or maybe Finnocence forgot to take a shower."_

_ She giggles and then I start to laugh with her. _

_ "Is there something you two want to share?" Mr. Schue asks, looking like a fuckin' wanna be teacher. _

_ "Uh _no_," I say. "Unless you all want to be aware that can't-dance-Finnocence hasn't showered in days, or Mr. Mother-shaved-his-hawk chained smoked before he came here, then no. There's nothing to share."_

_ Finn, of course, smells himself before frowning. Idiot._

_ "I know I took a shower this morning, Santana," he says, trying to sound mean. _

_ I laugh at him and hear a few sniggers from the club. Brittany sits up and laughs too, fueling me on._

_ "And I wasn't chain smoking!" Puck says in his 'dumb' voice. "Even if I was it wouldn't matter. I'm smart enough to use some axe or shit."_

_ "Puck no swearing!" Mr. Schue shouts, making Puckerman frown and slump down in his chair. "And no more insults Santana."_

_ "You asked if I had anything to share and I told you," I snap, rolling my eyes. _

_ Mr. Schue frowns and turns back to his white board, scribbling something in black marker. _

_ Glee club is like hell. Only instead of hot flames there's hot and bothered teenagers all cramed into one room with a devil who can't control the class. Brittany grabs my hand again and resumes her previous position before the outburst. I see her crinkle her nose out of the corner of my eye. I know what she smells. It's cigarette smoke. _I'm_ the one who's been smoking. I get stressed out, okay? No one get's to fucking judge. And I basically showered in perfume when I was done. _

_ I squeeze Britt's fingers and rest my head against hers. If she gets to nap during this period so do I. It's not like I want to listen to RuPaul and Schue argue over song choices. _

* * *

><p><em>"Has Lord Tubbington been over here?" Brittany asks as she flops down on my bed. <em>

_ I shake my head and close my door, pulling my hair out of its bitch of a ponytail. _

_ "No."_

_ "Oh..." Brittany pulls one of my pillows to her chest as she kicks off her cheer shoes. "It smells like him. Like when he smokes."_

Shit_. My stomach starts grinding in on itself and I roll my eyes. It's Brittany. I can get through today and then be more careful where I smoke. I grab a bottle of perfume and spray it all around the room. _

_ "Maybe my padre started again," I say and shrug. _

_ She nods and motions with her finger for me to 'come here'. I smirk and stalk across the room and then crawl on top of her. Brittany squeals and I laugh as I plant kisses up her neck. The pillow she was holding is smushed between our stomachs, preventing me from tickling her sides. Brittany has a small, little smile on her face, but it's special. It's the one she wears whenever she's in a haze. Like right after we have sex or when I bring her to see the ducks at that stupid pond in the park. It makes my heart flutter and it scares me how much I like it sometimes._

_ "Wait..." Brittany hisses, her voice all low and bothered. I nip at her uncovered shoulder, smirking against the skin. Her hands come up and press against the small of my back. _

_ "It's you," she says, rolling on top of me. _

_ Fuck. Just...go with it._

_ "What's me?" I ask, trying to sound sexy. It just sounds forced to my ears. I try to cover it up by pulling her in to kiss me, my arms wrapping around her neck. _

_ "San..." she whines into my mouth. I push my tongue out and trace her teeth. She's being stubborn so I'm determined to break her down. Her lips move against mine even when her teeth stay clamped shut. I smile against her and press a thigh between her legs. She groans and her teeth part. I inch my tongue out to hers and-_

_ "SHIT!"_

_ "Sorry!" Brittany whispers. _

_ "B that _hurt_!" I say, trying to taste any blood. She fucking bit my tongue. "Why'd you _do_ that?"_

_ "You kept kissing me and I wanted to stop kissing."_

_ She says it with a shrug of her shoulders, like biting is the answer to making someone stop kissing you. _

_ "You could have pulled back or something...you didn't have to _bite_ me."_

_ She rolls off me to rest by my side. _

_ "But you smell like smoke.'_

_ God damnit._

_ "Yeah, I know."_

_ Her blue eyes widen. Like she thinks I was going to deny it. _

_ "Why?"_

_ "I don't know," I say, running a hand through my hair. "I've been stressed so I just stole a pack of my padre's cigarettes. It's like taking a break from life."_

_ "Well stop, you smell like all those guys at Puck's parties."_

_ Brittany pouts. It makes me want to stop, but what else is going to keep me from pulling my own hair out? Whatever this is with her is hard, school is hard, cheerio's practice is a bitch, and staying head bitch is hard._

_ "Why? You made out with them all."_

_ Her blue eyes water with clear tears. I want to wipe them away before they have a chance to fall, but I'm mad at her. Wait, when did that happen?_

_ "Please, San? I haven't made out with anyone but you in, like, forever. Longer than I can count on my fingers. Except when you tell me to." _

_ I groan and roll away from her. _

_ "Stop it! Why do you care?"_

_ "Sweetie..." she sighs. Ugh, the nicknames. They make me melt. She shifts closer and wraps her arm around my torso. "I can be your break from reality...It makes you smell like smoke, and it's so not sexy."_

_ I 'hmph' and try to lean away from her but she holds fast. _

_ "Or I'll withhold sweet lady kisses," she mumbles into my neck. _

_ I smirk. She knows me too well._

* * *

><p>"You fucking bitch!" One of the guys yelled.<p>

Up close they all had hungry eyes. It made me want to throw up. I was punching and kicking that fucking Rodger guy. Brittany was behind me. She was watching and probably hating me for doing this. I was being a monster. But he was an even bigger monster, right? Wanting to rape Brittany...I wouldn't allow it.

"Get off him!"

The two guys ran at me and one pushed me back so hard I fell right on my ass. The other rolled Rodger over and helped him to his feet. Brittany was next to me in a second.

"Santana why'd you do that?" she whispered angrily. "Don't do that! That was stupid and mean."

"Brittany I wasn't going to sit by and let him hurt you!" I hissed, hoping they weren't paying attention to our conversation.

"Get that fucking-ack- brunette," Rodger coughed out, spitting. "If Blondie's not feisty then she sure is...I can do with kinks."

I had to bite my lip to keep it from shaking. This was going to be so bad. It was going to hurt and shit. Fuck it was going to suck. I had to think of Brittany. I had to think of how I was doing it for her. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if she was raped in place of me. Especially right after I got her back.

"I'll grab her," one of the guys said. Of course a fucking ginger was going to grab me.

"Brittany," I hissed. "Go run. Go get Puck! Don't stay, go get help!"

I was frantic as the ginger man grabbed one of my arms. Brittany wrapped her arms around my waist.

"No!" Brittany growled. "Stop! Please don't do this!"

"Leave it Blondie!" Rodger yelled. "Sebastian grab her and let's go."

_Let's go_? What the fuck did that mean?

"Brittany go get Puck!" I hissed again, fighting against her grip. The Sebastian guy was trying to rip my fucking arm out of its socket. It fucking hurt!

"Shit! Stop pulling me in half you bastard!"

He grunted and Brittany's arms faltered. I face-planted in the dirt. A pebble sticking into my chin. I pushed myself up and was then yanked up the rest of the way.

"Making trouble," Sebastian mumbled, dragging me with him. Away from Brittany.

"Fuck you ginger!" I spat.

* * *

><p>The smell of cigarette smoke filled my lungs. It was thick and left me feeling hazy. Fucking Rodger chained smoked the things. I had yet to see him without a smoke pinched between his dirty lips. The fucking ginger was Sebastian and he seemed like he hated Rodger. The other guy, the quiet one, was named Beau or something. They kept me walking with them for a day. And they didn't do anything to me except use me as 'bait'.<p>

The fuckers liked to lure in zombies in the fucking woods in the dead of night. When ever they caught one they beat it. Like took rocks and beat it until ever bone in its body was crushed and stomped his head to mush. I threw up the first time they did it. I cried the first night, not loud though. They all slept huddled together. It was weird. It was cold so it made sense, but it was weird to see it. And that damn _Beau_ stared at me until he fell asleep.

I cried because it was so cold my hands turned red. But mostly because I didn't have Brittany. It was haunting, as cliché as it sounds. I was just glad they didn't rape me. I was even more glad when I remembered if they took Brittany she would have get tied to a tree and forced to scream so zombies would come around. She would have had to watch a zombie get tortured to death. I had no sympathy for a zombie but most of them still looked like people. It was hard but if Brittany watched it she would be scared. She was too good. She would feel bad for it. I was glad it was me.

They took me a day ago, but they didn't feed me. They didn't really have food. They kept chomping on bad smelling jerky.

"Did you hear that?" Sebastian asked, bumping Beau. Beau shook his head and went back to coiling rope. He just finished binding my wrists.

"I thought I heard another one..."

"Why don't you go check, _crabs_?" I snapped. "Or can you not walk with all that pubic lice?"

Sebastian narrowed his eyes at me. He was always complaining about walking and how much they did. He always wanted to rest. I hadn't eaten or drank shit in twenty four hours and I hadn't said fuck.

"Watch her," he pointed at me and Beau nodded.

Sebastian walked out of view behind a couple trees and Beau continued to coil his fucking rope. Some rustled behind me. I strained my ears, trying not to move a muscle. If a zombie really was here I wouldn't be able to get up with my wrists crossed behind my back so tightly. I looked behind my shoulder and there was a shadow. Shit, shit. Fuck Lopez move! I tried to squirm toward a tree but it was no use. My heart felt like it was in my throat, pounding away against my bones. I was breathing hard and I was starting to hear a ringing in my ears.

Please, please don't be a zombie.

Beau stood up all of a sudden. He looked around and then looked passed me. Thank, _god_, he wasn't as stupid as Sebastian. He walked over to me.

"Did you hear it?" he mumbled.

I watched him. Was he fucking crazy?

"Go look," I hissed.

He glared at me before he started walking behind me.

Where the hell was Rodger? He was the one who liked to kick the shit out of zombies. Where the fuck was he? I couldn't really feel my wrists anymore. The angle was starting make pain shoot up my arms and the ropes were cutting off my blood. I tried to get to my knees to stand, but the angle made me grunt. My arms felt like they were breaking, I wanted-

I screamed.

Beau was lying, face first, on the ground. He was groaning and moaning, just like a zombie. But it was like he was crying too. Or he was insanely sweaty. He rolled over, trying to sit up and someone stepped over him.

"Puck!" I whispered.

"Lopez why the fuck do attract so many pervs?" he growled, crushing me in a hug.

"Shit, stop!" I begged.

His arms made my wrists feel like the bones were literally snapping.

"Sorry!" he said smiling like an idiot. "Where's this fuck head's rope?"

"Over there! Where's Brittany?"

Puck grabbed the coils and started winding them around Beau's hands and ankles.

"She should be coming," he said, smirking.

"What the hell does that mean? You left her alone?"

Puck rolled his eyes and smacked Beau over the head. "No. She was making sure that other guy was following a different sound. This fuckhead's the biggest of them all. Where'd the third go?"

My heart stopped.

"You let Brittany get _chased_?"

"Easy!" Puck said as he pulled out his Swiss army knife and cut the ropes on my wrists. "She wanted to help. We came up with a plan and she runs fast. She should be coming back...now."

Puck stood up as I started to rub at my wrists, desperate to get the blood flowing. He pulled his crowbar from his belt and held it like a baseball bat.

"Where is _she_?"

"Shh!"

Puck pulled me up and pushed me against a tree. We hid there; him still holding the crowbar back right at stomach level. Then I heard it, more rustling. That turned into panting and turned into Brittany running full speed out of the trees and passing us completely.

"GRHH-ACKK!"

Sebastian was on the ground, holding his balls, crying. His mouth was open like he should be screaming but no sound came out.

"Oops," Puck cheered. "You're taller than I thought."

Brittany turned around and I rushed her. I didn't say anything when I crushed her to me. I didn't have anything to say. I was going to start crying and blubbering like a drunk idiot if I did. Her hot breath on my ear made me smile bigger and pull her harder against me. I wanted to feel her heart beat with mine. Make our bodies so close you couldn't tell who was who. I wanted to burrow into her chest and never leave.

"Don't ever do that again," she whispered incredibly quiet.

I nodded, even though I would do it again a million times.

"GET UP!"

I turned and saw Rodger pulling Sebastian to his feet, waving a burning branch around like crazy. Puck was backing away, toward us slowly.

"Cool it, dude!" he said.

"You little ass hole! Go get him Sebastian!" Rodger handed Sebastian his burning branch and shoved him toward Puck. He started fighting at Beau's bindings looking almost hysterical as he did it.

"Easy..." Puck said, backing away.

"I'll be easy when I burn your eyes out," Sebastian said back.

They were getting closer and closer to Brittany and me. I squeezed my arms tighter around her waist, effectively gluing her to my side. Fuck, fuck, fuck this was not shitting happening.

Sebastian swung at Puck, the fire catching on his coat. He spun and ran, smacking at his arm until the flames died down. Sebastian followed after him but stopped and turned to us.

"Run," Brittany begged in my ear. But I was already frozen and my adrenaline was all used up from running the distance to Brittany from the tree I had been tied under. She tugged at my hand. I followed slowly behind until I felt an uncomfortable heat prickling at the back of my neck.

"Faster!" Brittany screamed, pumping her legs hard, practically dragging me away from Sebastian.

"FUCKING STOP!"

A bang.

The heat at the back of my neck died and I turned to see Sebastian falling to the ground. It was a gun shot.

"San come _on_!" Brittany pleaded, tugging at my hand. I stopped completely. Heart thundering and eyes watering. Puck had a _gun_.

"Santana what are you-"

Brittany stopped pulling at me. We watched as Puck waved the pistol at Rodger. He still hadn't untied Beau and his eyes were wide.

"Don't follow us!" Puck shouted, sounding angry and fierce. "I'll kill you if you follow us!"

Rodger stood numbly and nodded. Puck nodded too and started jogging toward us.

"Let's go," he mumbled in passing. "You remember how to get back Britt?"

She nodded and pulled me behind her. I wanted to move but my legs felt like jelly. My muscles sore and exhausted at the same time. I hadn't eaten or drank anything in so long and my body was finally shitting out on me. I stumbled and was foot from face-planting when Brittany turned and caught me. She ripped me up into a standing position.

"What's wrong?" she asked frantically. Her blue eyes were wide with fear and adrenaline. I wished she could lend me some to get me out of this shit. I didn't want to drag us down.

"I can't run..." I whispered, trying to steady myself. Trying to control my feet so it didn't feel like I was a five year old trying to learn to roller skate.

Her mouth parted and she nodded, suddenly pulling my arm over her shoulders and wrapping her arm around my waist.

"Puck, help!" she shouted.

Puck was by my free side in seconds, lifting my arm around his shoulders and trudging forward.

And then the heat was at the back of my neck. It was hard to see straight and my armpits felt funny. It felt like everything was spinning. Fucking high or some shit. Puck's face was smushed into a pissed off look. I could barely keep my eyes open because it was just so _hot_. Right on my back. Brittany looked scared...her eyes all wide and her mouth open, panting. I was panting too.

I heard another bang come from my left and the heat flew away. Puck turned back around and Brittany's eyes were teary. I didn't like it. Fuck tears...My tongue was sticking to the top of my mouth. I wanted water. I wanted to drink pineapple juice from a can...

Then it was all black and I felt like I was floating.

Then I didn't feel anything.

It was just black.

* * *

><p><strong>Cliff hanger? YES. First I want to thank all the anons for reviewing! You don't have to have an account to review, I set it so you can review anonymously. There hasn't been as many reviews as I would have liked, so probably no update on saturday. Also it's late again, but still friday where I am! If there's a boat load of reviews I'll try and update tomorrow, or if not then expect an update by, let's say thursday? Okay. Thanks again for all the favs and alerts and reviews so far. Wake me up with lots of emails you guys!<strong>

**XRose**


	9. Ch 6 Blue

**Chapter 6: Blue**

"Santana...Do you think she's okay?" It was Brittany.

My mouth was dry. My tongue felt like sandpaper while my mouth felt like it was full of cotton. I didn't want to open my eyes. Even in the darkness behind my eyelids things were spinning. I sighed, trying to move my tongue so it would make spit.

"Yeah." It was Puck this time. "She just passed out. It didn't look like any of them had any water either. So, she's probably dehydrated too."

"You mean they gave her toxins?" Brittany sounded panicky.

"What? No! No, dehydration. She just needs to drink stuff."

"Oh...When do you think she'll wake up?"

There was silence and crackling...A fire? Finally, the warmth registered on my skin, bleeding through my coat and layers. It painted me in heat. I struggled against something, trying to get warmer. What the fuck was around me? The damn thing was tangled in my legs and arms. It made my limbs feel too heavy to move. I groaned in frustration, but it came out weak and I ended up coughing instead.

"Santana?" Brittany gasped.

I tried to open my eyes, but they felt like fucking weights.

"Are you awake?"

I nodded and managed to force my eyes open.

Brittany was leaning over me, doing something...I was in the sleeping bag. Oh, Brittany was unzipping it and releasing my arms in the process.

"There Sweetie..." Brittany murmured. I started to blush at the pet name.

"What happened...?" I whispered, my voice hoarse. My throat felt brittle like it was made of sand.

"Lopez, here!" Puck shouted from somewhere.

A canteen flew over my head and landed next to me on the sleeping bag. I lunged at it and ripped the top off, drinking greedily.

The second I twisted the cap back on the canteen Brittany was on top of me. She pulled me tightly against her. It felt good to feel the heat of her body against mine. It made me feel alive. Her torso was on top of mine, and her legs rested snugly against mine. Her blonde hair created a curtain around our faces making the outside world disappear. For a moment the only world that existed was the ocean of her eyes and the face splitting grin that dominated her lips. Brittany was beautiful. She just was. There was nothing else that came to my mind. I didn't even think I could talk, starring so intimately at her like that.

"Don't do that again," she said softly, breathing it against my lips. It smelled fresh, like she had just brushed her teeth.

I shook my head gently, tears pushing at my eyes. I couldn't find it in my heart to ever deny her looking like that. (How fucking cheesy, guh.) I took a deep breath to pull myself together because I didn't want to ruin this by making Brittany sad. I didn't want her to see my tears, but one or two slipped down my cheeks. Brittany just smiled bigger and moved her arms to lay on either side of my head. Then she was leaning forward, her eyes shutting softly.

Everything was so light and airy and perfect. But all I could think was how chapped my lips were and how my stomach was growling in protest. Brittany giggled at the sound and simply rested her forehead against mine. She took deep breaths, and I sucked in her exhaled breath. We were feeding each other oxygen. I imagined how my breath would feel hot and stale against her lungs. I hadn't brushed my teeth in a day but I hadn't eaten anything in day either so I hoped it didn't smell. Brittany giggled again and I opened my eyes only to stare out into a sea of bright, happy blue.

My fingers wrapped around the belt loops of her pants, pulling her hips against my side.

"I missed you so much San," she whispered, pulling back slightly. I nodded. I felt too numb for words. Nothing could communicate what I felt, so why blubber like an idiot?

"If you two don't come out of there I'm going to eat all your food!" Puck threatened, sounding disgusted.

I groaned as Brittany swept the pad of one finger across my forehead. She sighed and smiled again before sitting up.

"Finally!" Puck shouted, a dopey grin on his face as he held two cans. "I thought you two might have died from oxygen loss. Sucking face like that. Hot."

I blushed again, sitting up next to Brittany.

"Shove it, Puck." It came out weak and flimsy, my tongue struggling through the basic sounds.

He shrugged and whipped out his Swiss army knife.

Cans were passed around then and we all savored the taste of cold and salty soups or stews. I had to drink a lot of water in between because my throat kept freaking out on itself. It hurt like hell when I first swallowed the solid food and it scratched a path down my esophagus like it was wrapped in thorns. Eventually I slowed myself, even though my stomach continued to gurgle with the new found energy.

"How long was I passed out for?" I asked. It was embarrassing but at the same time not my fault. Who doesn't fucking feed their own bait?

"An hour or two?" Puck said. "Right Britt?"

"Yeah," she said softly. She looked upset even thinking about it. "Puck had to carry you back here."

I watched the little fire crackle and then looked around. We weren't near the creek anymore. I actually didn't have a fucking _clue_ where we were.

"Where's here?"

"A mile or two away from where those jackasses had you," Puck grumbled. "I was surprised you didn't beat thee shit out of all three of them, Lopez. Aren't you from Lima Heights, bitch?"

"Fuck off," I said laughing at his screwed up face. His eyes were crossed and his lips pinched together.

"Haha, well next time kick them all in the balls before all that shit goes down. Or maybe you could wait and get a _room_ before you go down on Britt in the wide open."

Brittany blushed bright, bright red. She took a giant gulp from canteen and stared into the fire. I laughed lightly and nudged her shoulder.

"None of your business Puckerman," I said.

He nodded and tossed his empty can into the fire before opening another can of clementines or something.

"We need to start walking again," he said, concentrating on the can. "I think there's a town or something up a few miles and we need more food. We only have four cans left."

Puck handed me the open can and then started opening another can of fruit.

"Keep eating," he said without looking up at me. "I can still hear your stomach."

I pursed my lips before finishing off the last of the stew. I tossed the can into the fire and watched it burn the label quickly, then turning a blue color from the can. I offered Brittany a slice of juicy clementine and she made a face at me before she wrapped her lips around the piece of fruit and my fingers. It was quick and innocent but it sent shocks down my spine and to my stomach.

"Thanks," she said. She eyed me like she was trying to flirt and made more shocks spread to my stomach. I winked at her to try and calm the tension, because fuck I was ready to do _every_thing and _any_thing she wanted. I needed to hold my shit brain together though. We needed to walk _miles_ to a town and I still didn't feel one hundred percent.

* * *

><p><em>Brittany's sitting on my lap. It's summer. It's hot, but the humming air conditioner keeps the room comfortable. The denim of her shorts is making my skin itch, but I try to ignore it, because fuck does it feel good to just <em>hold_ her. Brittany is quiet. Not, like, sleepy quiet, but thoughtful quiet. _

_ I love how blonde her hair is. Nothing like that shitty color from when wannabes get their hair bleached. Just really, really blonde hair. It tickles my nose and eyes since my chin is rested on her shoulder. But maybe she is sleeping because Brittany is never this fucking quiet and soft and peaceful. Even when she sleeps she always snores...cutely. Fuck off. Yeah, her snores are soft and light and _cute_. She hums in her sleep sometimes too. Britt is adorable in her sleep. _

_ I have her pulled against me. Her shorts are almost booty shorts; fuck yeah I've been looking there! Perv. And her tank top is skimpy and see through, something you would wear to a pool or lake. We've been _living_ at her grandparents' lake house though. She probably barely has any clothes left that aren't in her suite case, my car, her car, or their house. _

_ We're sideways on the couch, Brittany literally on top of me, in my lap. Her long legs stretch out a little passed mine. I sigh against her neck and press my lips to her. _

_ She's asleep. I know because there's this spot on her neck. It's like below her ear, but not _right_ below it and if you kiss it really soft then she squeals and moans at the same time. It's funny and hot. She didn't even flinch when I touched the tip of my tongue to it._

_ I sigh. I fucking wanted to scissor. We've been driving all over the place doing so many things that we haven't had sex in...shit. Fuck. Oh, fucking hell. A week without sex? Damn it. Shit. Shit. No wonder I'm so horny. If I wake her up she might be pissed and just roll over on me. Lo que necesito para conseguir mis besos dulces de la señora! Mierda. _(I need to get my sweet lady kisses on! Shit.)

_ She's breathing out this little cute breaths. They send tingles up and down my spine. In the back of my head, it's all fuzzy. It's like... Ugh! I feel panicky all of a sudden because: what if? I love her but, no estoy enamorado de ella. _(I'm not in love with her.) _But I feel like I am. Ugh! Britt-Britt, why do you have to be irresistible?_

* * *

><p>"I can carry my own fucking bag, Puckerman," I grumbled.<p>

We were walking and Brittany had her pack and Puckerman had his and mine slipped over his arms. Brittany grabbed my hand and squeezed, pressing a kiss to my ear.

"Just take the favor, Lopez," he laughed. "You can't even run and you _want_ to walk around with thirty extra pounds on your back? I don't get you."

"She's just cranky," Brittany said.

Puck smirked and I grumbled, crossing my arms.

"You're like a donkey," she continued. Fuck you Lopez, a donkey? "They kick people who make them mad. You're a cranky donkey, San!"

Puck was starring straight ahead with his lips crushed together. The jerk was trying not to laugh.

"Hold it in, Fuckerman," I whispered.

Pucks covers his mouth with his hand and nods.

I was pissed, but only Brittany could call me an ass and have me almost drooling instead of kicking her in the crotch. Shit I could never do that. I didn't even know how I could think it. I groaned and shut my eyes for a minute. I heard Brittany giggle again and she pulled my hand from my chest, squeezing and swinging it between us.

* * *

><p><em>And then the humming starts. It's light a first and I can barely hear it. But when Brittany tries to roll I let her. She slides off me so she's on her side. I turn with her and wrap my arm around her stomach. The humming gets louder, just a little bit. It's aimless and more like squeaky breathing but I call it humming. It's random pitches with random patterns. It makes my heart sing and my lips mouth old lyrics into her hair.<em>

* * *

><p>"It's a mall," Brittany said.<p>

I looked up from my feet and saw it too. It wasn't the biggest mall in the world, but it was two stories and very square. All the cars in the parking lot were either burnt to a crisp or tipped over or had their windows smashed and tires popped. One car looked like the top of it had been chopped off, making it look like a convertible, except that it kinda looked like a mini van too.

"Let's check it." Puck.

"Excuse me?" I asked, caught off guard. Sure this thing wasn't a place I would shoplift off, but what about fucking zombies?

"I said let's check it. Did they beat your ears too, Lopez?"

"I heard what you _said_ but what do you mean? There's going to be zombies in there!"

Puck cracked his knuckles and pulled the crowbar from his belt.

"I have this and besides they're all too slow to get us anyways."

I had my bag on my back now. It took for-fucking-ever to get Puck to give it to me. And then a mile later or something Brittany took it. I just got it back again. My legs felt a little shaky but I could carry a stupid pack for a little while.

"It'll be okay, San."

I looked into Brittany's eyes and I knew she would keep me safe. She would risk her life for me, like she did when she got Sebastian to follow her. I wished that I didn't pass out because I would have kicked the shit out of him. Fucking beat him like the gangs in Lima Heights Adjacent. _Muerto_.

"Can I have your gun?" I asked, starring at the mall. I didn't want to see the way Puck's face contorted and the snarl of laughter leaving his lips.

"Uh, dude, really? It's a gun. I'm keeping it."

We hadn't talked about that little gun, or the way Puck shot both Sebastian and Rodger. Unless Brittany and Puck talked while I was out cold.

"You don't need a gun!" Brittany gasped. "Gun's are scary." She added softer, as an afterthought.

"Yeah but I don't want to be vulnerable like that again. Just let me hold it and I'll go in the stupid mall."

Puck shook his head. "No way in hell. You'll be fine. No one's gonna be in there anyways. Those fuckers are waddling around outside it."

I whipped around and squinted desperate to see. He was right. Shit. There were at least ten or fifteen dragging themselves around the parking lot. It explained the smell of something sickly sweet in the air under all the smoke from the burned cars.

"Fuck..." I mumbled.

"Once we get close we can just run, right Puck?"

Brittany took a step closer to me and rubbed my arm. She tried to press her nails into my coat but it didn't register on my skin underneath. The water-proof shell blocked them like a wall.

"Yup. Good idea, Britt."

"Fine, but we're leaving if there's a bunch of those things in the mall."

Puck grinned like an idiot and Brittany smiled encouragingly at me.

I took a deep breath. Why don't zombies die?

How fucking contradicting is the _living dead_? Or _undead_?

"Right. Duh. I'm sure as hell not staying if shit gets ugly." Puckerman.

I rolled my eyes.

"Okay. Let's go down this middle isle right toward the main entrance? I think that would be the best way. There's not too many around it. Go slow at first and then...I guess I'll say when to run."

"Fine."

"Hold my hand?" Brittany asked.

I grabbed her hand and crushed my fingers around hers. I was never go to let go.

We walked slowly out of the last bunch of trees and bushes, side stepping melting snow piles. There were no zombies back here, _thank_ god. I had a few minutes to catch my breath and stop my stomach from cramping up on itself. I tried not to squeeze Brittany's hand too hard because I felt like I had already broken her knuckles from when I first grabbed it. But her fingers were tight around my knuckles too...fuck it. I squeezed harder.

Puck put a finger to his lips and winked at us.

We were half way up the entire lot when a zombie stumbled out from behind a car. I was going to throw up. I could feel my stomach toxins, or whatever, crawling up my throat. I could taste it and it only made me want to throw up more.

The zombie was missing a chunk of his skull. A dead, dying, decaying, oozing brain visible. His eyes, which were droopy, widened a little when he finally focused on us. I thought maybe it would scream and attract others, but his mouth just opened and his arms stuck out. Classic horror style.

"GO!"

I sprinted; pumping my legs so hard my muscles were shaking. I was already panting. That zombie was doing that weird groany-moany thing. I wanted to go faster and then I was almost falling over myself I was moving so fast. Brittany was speeding ahead of me, only staying connected by our hands. I concentrated on slapping my feet down to the pavement as fast as I could.

(Some weird thing coach Sylvester said made you run faster. Because "Slam those white, hundred dollar, shoes down! I want them destroyed by the time we're done here. Understand? Maybe if you run _faster_ I'll cut these sprints to two miles instead of four! Watch it, S! You think your dancer friend can't handle this? Maybe she can handle being shot out of a _cannon_ better! I still have that thing locked away in artillery closet, hidden behind all my track suites!")

I was beside Brittany now, her pants grazing passed my cheek. Or the wind. I didn't know I was too scared to concentrate on anything other than my feet smashing down on the concrete and Brittany's hand in mine.

Puck was somewhere behind us. More were coming, I could hear them. More groans more moans. More skin dragging across concrete. I was going to heave chunks.

Brittany let got of my hand and quickly grabbed my wrist. She yanked me forward and toward the glass doors of the main entrance.

"Open it!" Puck yelled.

We each grabbed a handle and pulled open the double doors. Brittany stood still but I pulled her inside. Puck caught the door as it was about to close and pulled both doors shut so hard the glass shuttered.

There was a cut on his cheek. The one that didn't have a yellowing bruise on it. If he got fucking bit I was going to kill him first!

"What's that?" I rasped out, point at him.

"Grab a bungee cord from one of those bags first!" he hissed, holding the door back from a zombie who had its face pressed up against the glass. This one didn't have a hand and his eyes were rolling around in their sockets.

Brittany slipped out of the straps of her bag and opened the big pocket. She grabbed the bungee cord from the top of the supply pile and jogged over to Puck.

"Here!" she yelled.

Puck grabbed it and wrapped it around the two metal handles, forcing it into some complicated knot. Forever the marine now, or whatever.

My breaths came in big heaves, feeling like they were suffocating my lungs. While at the same time not filling them with enough oxygen.

"What's that cut?" I asked again, pointing to my own cheek this time.

Puck, who was on the ground now, fingered his cheek until he felt the blood and pulled his finger back.

"Oh..." he chuckled through his rasps. His eyes were closed and he was smiling. I was too numb and scared to smile. Adrenaline was still pumping through me. "You two ran off so fast, I _fell_. My stupid bar hit me in the face!"

Brittany laughed, falling down to the floor only to land in criss-cross. She must have still been dancing. No way she wouldn't be.

"Didn't it have zombie blood on it?" I asked. I couldn't find it funny when something so terrifying was going on. What if he turned into a zombie? I couldn't take that shit.

"No, it was the other side," he said laughing with Brittany. "I bleached the shit out of it after the last time.

"Where'd-"

"It's in one of the kits," Brittany provided. "He did it while you were passed out."

"Oh...So maybe you shouldn't run with sharp objects, huh?"

I smirked at him, finally allowing myself to laugh at him.

Brittany smiled and nodded.

Puck rolled his eyes and stood up.

"This place is trashed..." he said. "And all the lights are still on...hmph. We should find a map or something. Maybe there's a Walmart here or some sporty place..."

"I hope they have a mattress store," Brittany mumbled. "I miss sleeping in my bed."

"Same Britt," I said smiling. This was the best we could have hoped for. A deserted mall, from the looks of it so far, and the electricity was still running. It was _warm_ in here. So warm that I would need to take off my coat in a few minutes. I needed to slow my legs from shaking still.

Puck helped Brittany stand and then she pulled me to my feet. As I stood she pulled me close to her and brushed her nose against mine. Her eyes were closed and her face was pale. My mouth was parted dumbly when she pulled back.

"Love you," she murmured and linked her pinkie with mine, dragging me after Puck.

* * *

><p>Mattress store: Check.<p>

Sporting or Hunting store: check.

Zombies? There were a few that couldn't get out from behind the food court counters. Like McDonald's workers or something. It was...perfect. What was even better was Brittany standing in only her bra, scrubbing at my skin with some special smelling soap. ("_Coconut_. I like when you smell like coconut, San.") We were in a public bathroom, well not so public anymore. We all smelled worse Asian one once he stopped dancing after regionals. He was nervous and sweaty and smelled like a pig afterward.

Brittany scratched the loofah down my back. We had new clothes thanks to some department store. I sighed against her touch and turned to scratch the loofah I was holding up her arm and over her collarbone. It was nasty to think we were standing barefoot in a public bathroom even though we brought a bunch of towels in here and threw them all over the floor. Brittany took her time and wet her loofah again at the sinks with warm water.

We weren't giving each other full body bathes...though I would have liked it. We were just scraping the dirt, grime, itch, and smell from our skin. I had already washed Brittany's hair in the sink. It was piled on top of her head in a bun. She was all quiet and sighing when I scratched my nails into her scalp. I was the same when she did my hair. She pushed the loofah against my chest and scrubbed her way down to my stomach.

When we were done we wrapped each other in towels and each brushed out teeth with new toothbrushes and extra minty toothpaste.

"Can I braid your hair?" Brittany asked after rinsing her mouth out.

"I guess," I said. "We need to change first and meet Puck back at the mattress store."

"Duh," she said and winked at me, making my stomach flutter.

I was surprisingly calm while I was running my hand all over her (almost)naked body but when she winked I couldn't keep it together. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from making sound.

* * *

><p>The walk back to the mattress store was short. Puck already had his new clothes on and more cans of food. He had a couple bags of chips and cereal boxes too. I sat with my back to Brittany, munching on potato chips, while she braided my hair. It was comforting and reminded me of my madre when I was little. Every time I got out of the tub she used to braid it. I wanted it to bring me to tears or make something happen in my throat or stomach, but I didn't feel anything. It all went out the window when she wouldn't stand by me senior year and stayed with padre in his weird panic.<p>

Puck cracked jokes that Brittany snorted at and Brittany commented on all the zombies, giving them names and making Puck laugh so hard he started crying. She said it was easier to deal with if she gave them names. It was grown up but it didn't make me feel lower than her. It made me feel equal. Maybe it wasn't the most grown up thing she had said but it seemed sadistically poetic or something. It just seemed...positive? She was making this easier on herself and if she could do that consciously I wanted to know how. This was hard enough.

We all jumped on mattresses, because who's _never_ wanted to do that? Laughing like idiots. I couldn't breath one time too. Then we took about an _hour_ trying to figure out how to pull down the security fence at the store entrance. And then another _half hour_ trying to figure out how to turn the lights off. It wasn't too dark because we were near the entrance and light poured in from the rest of the mall. It was probably close to midnight or something. I hadn't checked a clock since Mr. Schue's wristwatch.

We had pillows and blankets covering two king beds. Puck was snoring in one and Brittany was tangling her legs with mine in the other.

"You haven't said I love you back yet," Brittany pouted playfully.

I smirked and pressed my lips to her cheek.

"I love you."

She scrunched up her whole face in happiness and kissed my nose. It sent more warmth through me that her whole body squeezed against mine could.

"I love you too," she whispered.

I wanted to kiss her and devour her tongue with mine but at the same time I didn't want Puck to be less than five feet away when I did it. I would get hell for it tomorrow. I didn't way more hell even if it would only be joking.

"Maybe we can stay here and sit in those fun massage chairs?" Brittany whispered against my neck. I could feel her eye lashes blinking against my skin. It sent goosebumps down my shoulder.

"Mhmm."

I was tired. So tired I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer. Like, physically couldn't keep them open. I had _no_ energy. Like, none.

I heard humming and I smiled. Brittany was asleep, so fast. The relief of having her in my arms since being taken was huge. I hadn't held her like this since two days ago. It was a weight off my shoulders and made the anxious pound in my heart calm as I realized it.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey guys! WOW. is all i can say for the 15 reviews that i got last chapter! Sorry i didn't update sooner but sunday was a little too soon and i was a little sick of sitting at the computer all day typing for three days straight. I hope that's understandable :) But I'm thinking of updating saturday night if there's a big enough response to this chapter. thanks all anons who reviewed! There was a lot of you. Oh, and does anyone think this could use more dialogue? I'm trying to figure that out.. sometimes I feel like it's okay like this and other times I feel like there's almost too much thought going on throughout the whole thing, but then I go right back to the first thing...your opinion would really enlighten me! <strong>

**P.S I got a tumblr! don't really know exactly how to use it...but it's at my profile because it won't post here!**

**I think it's probably the best place to ask questions about updates or the story or whatever! Anons welcome!**

**XRose **


	10. Ch 7 The Difference 1

**Chapter 7: The Difference**

* * *

><p><em>"Te amo," I whisper against her neck. "Te amo por siempre y siempre."<em>

_ We some how snuck passed Britt's grandparents and got all the way to the dock of the lake. It's dark out but there's Christmas tree lights strung all over the dock railings and shack on the beach. It makes the sky seem like it has hundreds of stars scattered all over it. _

_ "What does that mean again?" Brittany murmurs, her voice vibrating down her throat and against my ear. _

_ I smirk and kiss her skin. _

_ "I love you. I love you forever and always."_

_ "I love you more."_

_ "Sure. Let's not get into that fight."_

_ Brittany sighs and runs her fingers above the waistband of my shorts. Her touch sets my skin on fire, a good, solid burning. It builds as she traces into a sort of comforting tickle. Except it won't throw me into hysterics. _

_ "Do you wanna swim?"_

_ It comes out of no where...well maybe not. We're sitting on the end of the dock, legs hanging over the edge. But it's dark and there's fish in there. Plus the water is colder at night and, even though I have my bikini on under my shorts and shirt, I don't really want to get wet._

* * *

><p>Something was rattling and creaking. I furrowed my brow and opened my eyes. Brittany was impossibly close, her legs wrapped up in mine, her arms thrown around me, the length of her pressed against me...<p>

"Sup, Lopez?" Puck snarled. He was looking out the security gate at the front of the store.

"What are you doing?" I asked, sitting up a little.

"Uh-just looking. There's a little fucker wandering around. I was trying to get him to come back, but the dude is like, deaf."

"Santana..." Brittany murmured into my shoulder. "Stay here."

"Sure Britt," I whispered, falling flat on my back again.

Puck smirked and rattled the gate again.

"Would you stop?" I hissed.

I felt Brittany's mouth curl as the words left my mouth.

"Stop talking and cuddle me," she whined.

I was uncomfortable. It was stupid and annoying, but I felt all prickly all over and I wanted to get up and stretch or something.

"Will you get up in a little?" I asked, feeling her fingers flex against my hip.

"Mhm."

Brittany tugged me even closer and I felt even more uncomfortable. It was like, claustrophobia. Fucking really? I was almost jittery and wanted to run off this nervous energy.

"It's not cuddling unless you put you arms around me too," she said pouting a little.

I obliged and turned on my side, our bodies sliding into place so perfectly I could practically hear the click of recognition of our bones.

"So while you two _cuddle_," Puck mocked, his eyebrows raised, "I'm going to search around this place. Maybe I can find some actual food or something...maybe a bathroom."

"Take your time with Puckasaurus," I scoffed.

"Shut it. I don't have a girlfriend to take care of shit like that."

My eyes widened as I shivered in Brittany's arms.

"That's so vulgar, you idiot."

Puck smirked, shrugged, winked, and then walked off.

"He just misses Quinn," Brittany mumbled. I glanced down at her and felt the shivers stop momentarily.

"What do you mean? They haven't seen each other since high school."

"Yeah, but they had Beth together..." She yawned. "There's still feelings there."

"Maybe."

She arched one eyebrow without opening her eyes.

"They're are. Kind of like...bald eagles. Except Quinn and Puck aren't bald—well, maybe Puck is. And Beth was when she first came out..."

I chuckled into her hair and felt her smile.

"Puck's half bald and I think Beth has hair now."

Brittany nodded.

"I'm going to get up now," I said, gently untangling myself from her arms.

"San, it's been two minutes!" Brittany whined softly as she tried to hug me to her chest unsuccessfully.

"You said we'd get up in a little while. I'm starving."

I quickly stood and worked out the kinks in my back and legs. I was immediately overcome with ease. The claustrophobia disappeared and I could breathe easily again. Now all I had to do was wander around to find an employee lounge and hopefully not run into Puck while he was thumb wrestling Puckasaurus.

I watched Brittany roll onto her stomach, her hair a little static-y.

"Do you want to come with me?" I asked pulling on my old cheer shoes.

She rolled again and watched me while lying on her side. I was weary of leaving her in bed in the middle of a store with a zombie wondering around. But the _metal_, security gate was pulled down. It couldn't get in. Shit, my brain hurt a little from worrying. I needed food and a deep breath.

"I need to sleep more," she mumbled, closing her eyes again.

"Okay," I said walking back over to her.

I wanted to hug her but was afraid the claustrophobia would come back. Instead I grabbed the blanket and tucked it around her. She hummed her approval as I pressed my lips quickly to her hair. It smelled nice and fruity. It was everything she smelled like in high school. It mad me smile.

"_Te amo_..." I whispered so softly I didn't think she heard.

The words slipped passed my lips so easily, my tongue forming the sounds too fast for my brain to register the meanings. Maybe Brittany forgot anyways. A part of me hoped she did, a part of me didn't.

* * *

><p><em>"BRITTANY!" I screech before water envelopes my lungs. It's cold. Freaking cold! <em>

_ "Brittany, what the hell?" I sputter through the water as I resurface. She's in the water too, a few feet away from me and swimming closer. She's dragging something behind her, but it's too dark to see. _

_ "I wanted to swim!" she says, smiling. "You wouldn't have gone in with me so I threw you in."_

_ "I know, I'm kind of in the water," I grumble, my lips forming a scowl. _

_ "Aw, don't be mad," she coos. "Look what I brought!"_

_ I can see the thing she was dragging behind her now. It's a black inner tube. That doesn't make being cold and wet _any_ better. _

_ "So? I'm soaked and cold and I'm getting out."_

_ The sparkle in her blue eyes dulls as she pouts._

_ "San, don't be like that. Come on, you can sit in the tube first!"_

_ I grind my teeth trying not to give in. Now we're both wet and it's late and getting passed her grandparents' is going to be a bitch. They're not _that_ old, anyways. I bet they hear two sets of dripping bodies stumbling through the house, slipping everywhere and shit. Fuck. I'm going to end up wiping up all the damn water once we get inside too. Shit. _

_ Brittany grabs my wrist and tugs me to the tube._

_ "Here! Get on and I'll pull you around."_

_ "That's okay B."_

_ She frowns and wraps her arms around my legs, literally throwing me on top of the freakin' inflatable. _

_ "Oof."_

_ "Now I can pull you around, just like a unicorn carriage!"_

_ "Fine," I grumble as her fingers grip my ankle and she starts to pull me parallel to the beach._

_ The water is still cold and my foot is turning numb from it and the pressure of Britt's hand. The rest of me is warm, though. I'm starting to dry off too, which is like, the only plus of this inner tube._

* * *

><p>"Lopez!"<p>

I turned to see Puck jogging toward me.

"What?"

His eyes were serious and his jaw set.

"There's not another way out of here. We need to open up the gate at the front."

What the fuck happened that got him all antsy?

"Why? Can't we just stay in here where it's like, secure? We have everything we need. I just want to relax for a minute."

Puck cocked an eyebrow at me.

"You can relax, but I want to go check out some more stores."

I scoffed. If Puck wanted to be surrounded by zombies he could, but I wasn't going to help him.

"Okay, then go."

He grumbled and a vein in his neck stuck out. Why was he so fucking pissed off all of a sudden?

"Dude, just come check this place out with me, _please_."

"Really? You're begging?"

"Cut the shit and come check out the guns with me! I know you want to kill off some of that energy. Getting off with Brittany can't get out _all_ your tension. I'll teach you how to use a gun and you can fucking blow some of these shitheads to chunks. Come on, Lopez!"

I rolled my eyes at him.

"I haven't done _anything_ with Brittany. Only _you_ could think of that while being attacked by zombies." Biggest hypocrite ever? _Me_. I won't deny it. Shit...I won't deny it to myself.

"Yeah?" Puck waggled his eyebrows. "Haven't done the dirty? Jesus. I friggin' left the whole damn area so you could make a move or _something_! Christ. You need to get laid, kid."

"Kid? Seriously Puck? Fuck off. I'm not helping you open that fucking gate and you can fuck off and out of my sex life. Culo agujero." (Ass hole.)

"Shit, Santana! I'm fucking joking, cool your tits. Maybe Brittany was a kick to your balls or whatever, but I'm trying to keep my head too, yah know? Stop, like harassing me in a language I barely understand, and come shoot things with me."

"No voy a dejar de acosar a usted en español. Es divertido. Puedo decir lo que me da la quiere. Por ejemplo, las bolas no han caído todavía." (I will not stop harassing you in Spanish. It's fun. I can say whatever I damn want. For example, your balls haven't dropped yet.) I smirked as Puck's eyes widened and that vein in his neck showed again. "Sure, I'll shoot things with you."

* * *

><p><em>"Britt," I say. <em>

_ She pulled me out kind of far into the lake. Sure, it's kind of a wimpy ass lake, but still I don't wanna be in the middle of it. I can still see the dock behind me, probably even without all the Christmas lights. The hand on my foot tightens and then slips off. _

_ "Brittany?"_

_ No answer. I can't hear any splashing either. I shoot up on the tube, frantically looking around me. _

_ "B, this is so not funny!" I groan out, whipping my head in every direction. _

_ "Can I come up...?" I hear. _

_ I look over my shoulder to the awkward place I couldn't see before. There's Brittany, treading water like its her job, and pouting._

_ "What?"_

_ I sound dumb. I really feel like whatever she just said flew over my head. _

_ "Can I get on the tube too?" she asks, nodding her head once. _

_ "Uh-yeah. Duh, Britt. Come here!"_

_ Brittany smiles and latches onto the blow up. Cold water covers my body, again. I resurface, sputtering, and glare at Brittany. _

_ "What was -pshhf- that?" I hiss, swiping the water off my face and out of my eyes._

_ She has an adorable pout-y smile on. _

_ "Sorry," she whispers, grabbing the tube with both her arms and hoisting herself on top of it. _

_ "How am I gonna get up there?" I ask, latching onto her knees that are hanging over the blowup. _

_ "You're pulling us in!" Brittany says like it's the most obvious thing in the world. She wipes her wet hair back, it looks a shade darker than the normal, bright, bright blonde, and gives me a toothy grin. I'm so fucking whipped. It wouldn't matter if she asked me to walk her all the way to China. I would do it in a heart beat. No. Fucking cliches, I would do it in less time than it takes a star to explode...I think that happens really fast, right? I mean, it's not like I pay _that_ much attention in astrology (why is that even offered at McKinley?), when I can look at Britt's legs instead. _

_ "Fine..."_

_ "I love you, Santana!"_

_ "Sure..." I huff, turning around and grabbing her leg to start to pull us back to the beach. _

* * *

><p>"I'm having second thoughts about this..." I mumbled.<p>

Puck was ripping the gate down to the mattress store. We were on the outside, me holding the crowbar and Puck with his gun in his belt. I had forced Brittany out of the bed, (_"Santanaaa, I'm tired! ...Go fights gnomes by...yourself..."_) literally pulling her up and out of it. She was dreaming up some weird stuff. Well...normal for her, I guess. But now she was standing beside me, sneakers, pants, and jacket all on. Her hair was tied up in a bun and her blue eyes were heavy, but so, so blue! I wanted to drown in them.

"Half way?" Puck grunted, standing up. He was in just his cargo pants, boots, and a new, _clean_, T-shit.

"What?" Brittany asked, threading her arm through mine and resting her head on my shoulder. I was tense. I doubted it was comfortable for her. She could probably feel my stiff muscles even through my layers and sweatshirt.

"Half way down," Puck said, kicking lightly at the gate. "I don't think zombies are going to get on there asses and crawl under to get in. It's not like we're in there, anyways."

Brittany furrowed her eyebrows. (I could feel it against my neck, okay?)

"Don't some of them crawl around?" she yawned. "They do that in movies...right?"

I nodded.

"Yeah, B. I don't want to come back only to find rotting flesh all over my brand new bed."

I shook with the thought. Zombies still...made me want to puke or run in the other direction, but I wanted to try and be a better person. Damn. No I mean, like be able to protect myself and Brittany, and maybe even Puckerman.

"I guess," Puck said while pressing the gate to the floor with his foot. "It's just a bitch to lift up, dude. It might take a while and if some of them are following us...it might not be the funnest experience."

"Says the one who wants to run around and smack the shit out of every zombie's head with a crowbar," I mocked with a smirk.

Puck smiled, a stupid, too happy kind of smile.

"Let's go find that store again."

"I wish there was coffee..." Brittany mumbled as she stood up straight, but didn't drop my arm.

"Me too."

Now I had to find a coffee shop, or some way to make coffee. If Brittany wanted it, I would get it. Especially because I needed some fucking caffeine too.

* * *

><p><em>I'm panting. Legit, I think my lungs are going to shrivel up. <em>

_ "Thanks, San," Brittany says from behind me. _

_ I nod and let her leg drop from my fingers. That swim was too much. My legs are almost cramping! That's the last time I ever sneak out with Brittany! Of course, that's such a fucking lie, but I can keep my stupid outbursts to myself. (Yeah, that means you, idiota...) I stumble up the beach and land square on my ass. The sand isn't as warm as I hoped it would be. _

_ As I close my eyes I can see Brittany moving around, but I don't care enough right now to focus on it. I need to catch my breath. _

_ "Here," Brittany says. "Get up."_

_ I peek up at her and take a deep breath. _

_ "Britt, I'm kind of busy dying here...so if you want...to see me in the morning...you won't make me...move." _

_ I say it all between pants. God, what the fuck is this lung shit! Who the fuck needs oxygen that bad? I really shouldn't be this out of shape. Coach Sylvester beats the shit out of us every practice. She would have my head if she ever saw me hunched over like this. Fucking, scream some twisted insult in my ear. I'm surprised she hasn't given us hearing aids that scream her personalized insults to us twenty-four seven. _

_ "No, I just want you to sit on the tube," Brittany says. And then she actually _drags_ my body on top of the damn thing. _

_ "B, come on...Stop."_

_ Brittany just giggles, her blue eyes shinning even brighter in the unnatural star light. _

_ "_S_, I just want to make you feel better."_

_ I roll my eyes at her. _

_ "No, seriously...Britt-Britt, I need to do nothing right now."_

_ Brittany smirks at me and crawls in between my legs, which are propped up on the side of the inner tube. Her long, pale fingers grip my hips and pull so they're flush against her stomach, and my ass is on the side of the tube now, instead of my thighs. _

_ My heart is pounding harder in my chest. Harder than when I was fucking dragging a hundred and twenty pounds through water. _

_ Her fingers dance up my ribs and down to my knees. She has such a damn smirk on her face. I couldn't look at her without laughing. I bit my tongue to try and keep any noises in and try to close my eyes. _

_ The darkness just enhances the tightening in the bottom of my stomach, the heat building down there, the way my body's shivering with anticipation. _

_ "Just relax, please..." she breathes out against my stomach, which is still covered by my soaking wet tank top. Her fingers quickly slip under the fabric and coax it off my body. My eyes are still closed. My breath hitches when her fingers loop into my red 'Cheer' shorts and start to ease them off my legs. She puffs air down my stomach, tracing some of the visible muscles._

_ It's not like I have washboard abs or anything...So I have a four pack? I'm working up to Brittany's six pack, okay?_

* * *

><p>"Can we please shut the security gate?" I asked as we walked into the store. Why there was a fucking <em>gun<em> shop in the middle of a mall I had no idea.

"Yeah, yeah Lopez, hold on."

Puck looked up and then around the entrance.

"Is this is?" Brittany asked. She was holding a silver box with a wire coming out one end. The wire curled up to the top of the arched entrance and attached to a silver gate.

"Yeah Britt, push the button," I said.

"There's no button...it's just a slit..."

"What?" Puck asked, walking over to her. He grabbed the box from her hand and set his jaw.

"See?" Brittany said, pointing to whatever it was on the box. I took a step closer to them, but I didn't understand what the hell they were talking about.

"A key hole, Brittany," Puck said. "Like a lock."

"No. Shit. Where are we gonna find the key?" I asked, grabbing the box from Puck and looking at it. Fuck.

"I'll go back and see if there's an employee lounge or manager's office...you two look through the registers."

I gripped the crowbar tighter and dropped the silver box.

"Okay."

Puck nodded and took his gun off his belt.

"If you find it yell, okay?" I said as he jogged towards the back.

"Got it."

Brittany walked over to one of the registers and started looking through all the draws. I did the same at the one next to her.

"I found a bunch of keys..." Brittany said holding up a lanyard with a key chain at the end.

"Great Britt!" I said, my heart beat slowing. "Go try them out. I'll keep looking."

"Right," she nodded (with the cutest determined face on. Her lips drawn in a line and her eyebrows lowered and her eyes serious but holding innocence too. Lopez...grah you pussy!) and ran back over to the entrance.

I started ripping open draws at this register. There was only coin rolls, and paper rolls for receipts or something, and random shit like packs of gum. Why? Why do you need ten fucking packs of gum at your register?

I heard Brittany scratching the keys against the key hole. It wasn't that bad, but to my ears it felt like nails on a chalk board. Something just didn't feel right. It was in the back of my head and I couldn't shake it.

Until I heard Brittany 'whoop!' and the crank of the gate being lowered.

"I got it!" she yelled, holding up the sliver box up while still twisting the key.

"Awesome! Now we just need to get Puck."

Brittany nodded and focused back on the gate; which was more than half way down.

_Kiss her. _ It was in my head. It was in my blood and heart and lungs and muscles. Why all of a sudden? I didn't know. I just knew that I needed to feel her. I needed to be able to kiss her and touch her and be so close to her.

We were safe now. If there was a zombie in here we would have heard it, or felt it. I swear to god I can feel when they're near. But that's just me being stupid. I can't.

Puck was in the back too. I could do it quick and it would be over. No. Not over. It would just start. I could start what we had in high school, I could bring it back.

The gate had a fourth left until it would be all the way down. I took slow steps toward her. Brittany wasn't even paying attention to me. It didn't matter because I knew she wanted this. I knew she wanted to be close to me too.

_"I missed you."_

She said it. Her words. Her thoughts, right from her mouth. Her _wants_.

The gate was starting to creak more as it neared the floor. A foot away now.

I covered the last few feet separating us. She still didn't look up from the key and silver box. She was so focused. It made my mouth go dry. I licked my lips, trying to keep everything moist. Not wet, because I didn't want it to be super intense. I just wanted to feel her and have her feel me. It didn't need to be desperate or clingy. It just needed to be me and her, touching the way we used to. Touching the way we're supposed to.

The gate hit the ground with a 'clump' noise and Brittany turned around. Her blue eyes widened and she smiled at me. I smiled back and grabbed the silver box from her hand, dropping it on the display shelf to her left. It clattered.

"What?" Brittany asked softly.

I grinned and shook my head, letting one arm snake around her torso.

One perfect, blonde eyebrow arched as she cocked her head to the side.

Please, please, please. Just do it. Just touch her already!

I leaned forward the slightest bit and wait to see if she would move. My stomach was in knots but there was a sweet tightness there too. My whole body was conflicted. Scared stiff and bordering on possible pleasure.

When Brittany didn't move I leaned in more. Her lips pouted out, adorably, of course. I took a deep breath, breathing in her exhaled air. It was warm and sweet, like the Lucky Charms she ate for breakfast, right before I dragged her out of the mattress store.

It barely registered in my mind or on my body that she had her arms wrapped around my shoulders or neck. I couldn't tell. All I could feel was her fingers gently curling around the back of my neck. Urging me? I didn't know. I just leaned forward.

She took a quick breath and closed her eyes and I closed my eyes. Our lips touched.

* * *

><p><em>"Brittany..." I gasp. <em>

_ She's pressing open mouth kisses all over my stomach. At the same time, her hands are finding my bikini bottoms and easing them down my legs. Her mouth is low on my stomach now, licking and nipping at my hip bone. _

_ We haven't done this before. Oral? That's so...intimate. That's your mouth, something that does so much and can express so much, all over my sex, something that gives you pleasure. It's too sweet and too close to be anything more than love. We say 'I love yous' but that's just saying it. _

_ I never even given oral...on anybody. I've never had it done on me either. The most I did was hand jobs and like, normal straight sex. None of it meant anything._

_ My bikini bottoms are gone. Brittany has her hands under my back, pulling my closer, her fingers splayed over the small of my back. _

_ "Shhh," she whispers. "Can I do this?" _

_ My eyes still closed. I can't see her face. I can just feel everything she's doing. It's working me up and I'm wet. _

_ "...I don't..." I'm stuttering. _

_ "Santana, it's okay."_

_ I nod, but don't open my eyes. I grab at her biceps, because I need to hold on to something. Something solid that will keep me on the ground._

_ "I want you." _

_ I breath it out, squeezing my eyes shut even tighter. I feel her breath closer to my sex. I feel her fingers dig harder into the skin of my back. _

_ "I want this," Brittany says. "I want to do this to you, for you. I want you to feel this."_

_ "Britt...you've never...?"_

_ I peek to see her wet, blond hair whipping back and forth. _

_ "No," she says. "But I want to try. I just want to taste you and be close to you. You pulled me around and let me pretend you were a unicorn...I want to do something for you too. I really want you, San."_

_ My breath is coming out in pants. Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. That's so hot. That's so close. That's almost too much. _Almost_. _

_ "Yeah...me neither. I-I love you."_

_ It comes out shaky and soft and I can't tell if it sounds pathetic or sappy or real. Like I really sound like it's true. Like I love her. Because I totally do. I'm totally in love with Brittany. _

_ "I love you too."_

_ Her mouth covers my sex in her breath. Her fingers pull me closer to her lips and then the tip of her tongue is touching my clit. It's light. It's almost nonexistent. _

_ I groan. _

_ "Shh." Brittany croons into me. _

_ It flutters everything down there. It touches everything and makes me squirm. I want something, I want anything. But mostly I just want Brittany to _do_ something. _

_ "B...please..."_

_ She kisses me there. Her pink, sweet lips, touching to the lips of my sex. I can feel the twist of her lips and my heart stops thinking she doesn't like this. Maybe this is too much. _

_ But then she kisses me again and this time her tongue peeks through, tracing things. Tracing wetness, and poking at my clit. My stomach is so tight and I'm so hot. I'm so damn horny. _

_ "Britt I need you..." I moan quietly. _

_ My hands are in her hair then as I close my eyes. It's too much to look at a starry night sky. I need blackness. I need to focus—ohh-on her. _

_ Her tongue stick out then. Farther than before. Touching more than—ahh—before. She's inside me. The wet of her tongue, the smooth of her tongue slipping over everything. Her lips are spread around me too. Her nose pressed against my clit, sending shivers through me. My muscles are clenching and tightening. _

_ I'm too close too fast. _

_ "B...Britt-nee!"_

_ She's pushing her tongue in so far and breathing out her nose on my clit. It's sensory overload._

_ "Empújelo más...-grah- Necesito que lo hagas más difícil."_

_ Brittany groans against me and pushes harder. I feel like my eyes are rolling back in my head. But my eyes are closed. Everything just feels so hot, wet, and soft. Sometimes hard._

_ She curls her tongue and I am seeing stars, behind my eyelids. I'm making these little sounds. Little pant-y sounds. Something feels like it's clenching inside me. I'm so close. I'm right _there_! _

_ "Más rápido,...por favor." _

_ Brittany's finger comes up and circles my clit around her nose. It's quick and wet and hot. _

_ "Dios, que se siente tan bien."_

_ Brittany grunts and pushes in harder and her circles are faster and I'm gone. _

_ "Fuck..!"_

_ Brittany is still moving in me as everything in me just tightens and clenches and then everything's tingling. It's like my blood is pumping with love throughout my body. I open my eyes. _

_ It's slowing down as Brittany pulls out of me and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. Air is heaving in and out of my lungs. But I need to hold her. I lean forward and grab her, slamming her into my chest. _

_ She giggles and nuzzles against me. I just pant into her hair and squeeze her._

* * *

><p><strong>Hey so I am SO sorry for the...two week I think?...delay! Got to a place where i knew exactly what was happening next, but then I just couldn't get it out and make it sound right...sorry! I wanted to make it good for you guys. And then on top of that only like four people reviewed which didn't encourage me at all.<strong>

**So hopefully that never happens again, goes to show what reviews can do for an author! **

**Also the spanish at the end isn't translated because I felt like it would be better for you guys to read it as spansih. Make it more raw. Just plug it into dictionay com translator and it should pop it out for you. That's what I use mostly for the spanish so sorry if it's wrong to a native spanish speaker. **

**And in other news I'm hoping to have part two up within the next few days. I'm still writing it but it's coming to me a lot faster. And it comes even faster when I get all your input! **

**thanks, **

**xxRose**


	11. Ch 7 The Difference 2

**Chapter 7: The Difference Part 2**

I pressed my lips against Brittany's and pulled her against me at the same time. Heat jolted through my body. Not like, horny heat...but yeah a little of that too. Mostly just heat from touching her and being so close. Heat that was leading to that warm and fuzzy feeling, but it was all over my body.

I tilted my head a little so our noses weren't so close together and moved my lips a little. Brittany _whimpered_ and moved with me. I wanted more but at the same time I just wanted this. I parted my lips and let the tip of my tongue poke out. Brittany's lips opened and she practically sucked my tongue into her mouth.

Everything felt good. It was just good and all the stress that was being held in my body melted away. Brittany's hands pulled me closer and I pulled her closer by her hips. Her tongue was wet and warm and she tasted like marshmallows from that damn cereal. But it was okay. I probably just tasted like toothpaste.

I tried to think of love and loving her as I explored her mouth for the first time in three years. I was trying to relearn it. I wanted her to know I didn't forget that she liked the top of her mouth petted or that she liked fighting for dominance.

But I needed to _breathe_.

I disconnected our mouths and opened my eyes.

"What was that for?" Brittany panted. Her eyes were glowing. Her cheeks were red too. And the tips of her ears. She was so cute sometimes. Fuck it, I'm saying how damn adorable she is. Stop censoring your own mind, Lopez!

I shrugged.

"I wanted to kiss you."

She blushed a darker shade of red and looked to the ground. Some of her hair fell forward and I pushed it back into place, leaning forward and tilting her neck a little. I pressed my lips to the flesh of her neck, pulling her closer at the same time. Brittany tilted her head farther to her right and squeezed me.

I just kissed her three or four times up the side of her skin.

"I like when you kiss me," she whispered, resting her head on my shoulder. I could feel her breath 'hush-ing' out against my collar bone, dipping under my jacket.

"Mm," I smiled and ran a hand up her back. "We should tell Puck that you found the key and the gate's down."

Brittany nodded and sighed softly before straightening.

That feeling that something wasn't right came back, but I pushed it into the back of my mind.

"Puck! Puckerman!" I yelled, gripping Brittany's hand and and threading our fingers. "Brittany found the key!"

"The gate's down, Puck!"

Maybe something really wasn't right...My eyes lowered and narrowed as I pulled Brittany with me toward the back of the store.

There were rows and rows of hunting gear, like backpacks and sleeping bags, and camouflage suits...even some fishing rods. The guns were all along the perimeter of the store, locked away in cases or under display. It was eery to be surround by so many killing machines at once.

"Where is he?" Brittany asked.

"I don't know..."

I knew Puck ran around back. I knew he ran through one of these 'Employee's Only' doors.

"Puck?"I shouted, opening one of the doors. "Puckerman, answer us!"

"Puck! Come out before some lost mall gnome finds you!"

I stopped an looked at Brittany. I thought she was over that.

"What?" she asked squeezing my hand.

"Uh-nothing."

"Puuuuck!" Brittany whined out.

"Where the hell could he be?" I grumbled.

He wasn't anywhere in this employee lounge. My stomach was starting to curl on itself. What if he got himself killed some how? Or what if there were other people in the mall?

"Puckerman!" I yelled, walking back out to the main store and in through another door, which led to some sort of office.

"Puck?" Brittany asked.

"Shhh," he whispered. He was hunched over _underneath_ the _crawl space_ of a _desk_. Why? Just why?

"Do I want to know?" I asked, rolling my eyes.

"Hey, I thought I heard something so I hid, okay?" Puck said while standing up and dusting his pants off.

"I found the key!" Brittany squealed.

"Yeah, the gate was going down. You probably just heard that...you're turning into Finn."

"San..." Brittany warned softly, squeezing my fingers.

"Sorry," I whispered and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

Puck's eyes were the size of plates. I rolled my eyes and smirked.

"I'm a million and a half times the man of Hudson," Puck said rubbing his hand over the strip of hair on his head. It was getting kind of long and awkward. It was too long for a mohawk not to be spiked up. Grah, I'll say it. It looked _stupid_.

"He couldn't even deal with enough of this to keep calm...Besides I wouldn't want him with me anyways. He would cry too much."

I nodded. "Agreed."

"So, shooting time?" Puck asked, his mouth opening into a creepy, big-ass smile.

* * *

><p>"So what I have is a Glock."<p>

"That mini thing?" I asked, poking at Puck's belt.

"Yeah," he took it out, "it doesn't have a safety and I don't have a shit load of bullets."

"O-kay."

Brittany was sitting back behind us on the counter of one of the registers. She didn't want to learn how to shoot a gun. I didn't really either, but fuck what if a zombie came between us? What if I needed to know how to kill and the fastest way was a gun? I never wanted to be in such a fucking vulnerable position again like with fucking Rodger and Sebastian and Beau. I've never legit wanted to kill someone either...

"Listen, Lopez," Puck growled while popping something into the bottom of his black little gun. "This is a magazine, right? That means bullets and that means it's ready to shoot."

I really couldn't concentrate on Puck too much. He seemed really happy to be teaching me, but that stupid feeling was back. I couldn't help but glance back at Brittany every few minutes to see what she was doing. Mostly yawning...I need to find a damn coffee shop...and sometimes she was blowing wimpy bubbles from her gum. Mint. From under that damn register.

"And you hold it up here," he jammed the gun so the topish overhang was resting in the crook of his thumb, "like this. And wrap your weaker hand around front, like this. And then keep your thumbs pointed where you wanna shoot. Get it?"

I quickly focused on him to see his brown eyes smiling. God damn.

"Uh—yup. I got it."

His eyes narrowed and he smiled. It was like he was saying he knew I didn't.

"I got it."

He shrugged, "Okay. It doesn't really have any buck...or recoil to it. Well, like a little, it's a fucking gun, but it's not bad. It might be for you if you haven't moved that ass of yours since Cheerios practice."

"Fuck off!" I shouted laughing along with him. His happy was like, contagious.

It must have been for Brittany too because she was laughing on the counter.

"I wanna take out that light..." Puck said after a minute. The spaces in the security gate were big enough to fit an arm through, so Puck's gun was no problem. The realization made me cringe a little, but I tried to shake it off. Everything was getting a little too inside my head...Stop Lopez!

"Now just line up that point on the end with the target...and...shoot."

A bang and then glass shattering. One of the lights was out.

"Wow, you're so cool."

"I do what I can. I bet you can't shoot in the same spot."

"What are you betting? Get ready to fork it over."

Puck smirked, "Bread sticks."

"Excusemewhat?"

"Shit, still fucking obsessed? Nah, I have a handful of pocket lint and a dick. I know you don't want either. But you're always welcome to Puckzilla if you ever miss him."

"Fuck off. And don't joke about shit."

He nodded and pointed to the light. "Shoot it."

I grumbled and took the gun from him. It was already...cocked?...or whatever. I pointed both my thumbs forward and focused on the dark spot in the ceiling.

"Weird ass lefty."

"Shut up."

I fingered the trigger with one digit and when I got steady enough-

Bang!

There was no shattering sound, but I saw the glass shake on the lights near it and then as the bullet fell (why the hell did it fall?) it clattered around the glass already on the ground.

"Nice shot."

"Too bad you don't have bread sticks."

The sound was echoing in my ears but I shook it off. It was...weirdly exhilarating. Not that I'd ever be trigger happy or shit. It's just so fucking scary and then it goes off and that damn 'BANG' and it just makes my blood rush with adrenaline.

"I think we should open the gate and go find those shitheads stuck in the food court," Puck said, his smile all mouth.

SCCCRRREEEEEKKKKPPPPPHHHHH

"What the fuck..." Puck mumbled, slowly turning.

I did too and instantly _hated_ what I saw.

It was too simple for my brain to handle. It was simple, simple, simple. So fucking god damn simple! My stomach wasn't curling or twisting or _anything_. My throat was tight but my stomach...the image wasn't even registering enough to have a reaction, it was so wrong. The gun didn't register in my hands either. My own fucking fingers didn't register to my own fucking muscles.

"Shoot it..."

It was all mumbles and hesitant and made me want to puke right there but my stomach was still so normal. I could hear my blood pumping in my ears.

"Shoot it."

Brittany _wasn't moving_!

She was sitting there like frozen or something, but please just _god fucking move_! Move! Move! The zombie was starting to get all nasty. His skin looked yellow and his eyes were all dark and sinking in. He was just dirty too and the beard on his face was hanging off in patches. Ugh. I _needed_ to puke.

"Shoot it!"

It didn't matter though. It had that fucking crowbar that I'd dropped when I kissed Brittany in his fucking hand. I wasn't good enough to shoot a zombie from so far away and not kill Brittany.

Oh fucking _god._ Her face. Her face was so scared and rahhh! I can't, I can't. Please move! It was all wide eyes and pale, pale face and terrified eyes. Horrified.

The gun wiggled in my hand. My fingers tightened over the warm metal as I raised it.

But god damn the fucking thing already had a hand on her and a fucking _mouth_. Oh my god.

The tears blurred my eyes as I raised the gun and took a deep breath. Shit, calm down. Look. Look! Just look and aim and do whatever the hell else you do to shoot a fucking gun. Fucking move your own finger!

It was quick, like a snap. The body is what I aimed for. Brittany's arm is what his damn teeth aimed for. The roll of the gun in my hand was like fire. I heard the shriek that cracked open my heart and the gasp that had to be my own and they "shit" that was Puck's.

I blinked again and Puck was next to Brittany, attacking the zombie with the crowbar. I rushed forward, my muscles feelings stiff, but my mind slowly coming back.

"Oh god, oh god, shit, shit, shit," it all kept getting passed my lips.

There was splatter of blood on her face, neck, shoulder, and arm. Why did she take that fucking jacket off? Fuck. There was a ring of puss or ooze right below her elbow. There was blood on her pants too. It was deep, dark, dead. Dead blood all over her. It smelled, _she_ smelled like _it. _ My stomach finally caught up to me and lurched.

_Was she bit? Did it bite her? Did it's damn teeth stick into her skin?_

The questions assaulted me as I swallowed back a gag. Her face was gone, like no emotion at all. She was all stiff and her arm was shaking. Please, please tell me she wasn't bit. She wasn't blinking either and her lips were so tight together and her eyes so blue they screamed innocence. And that screamed it should be you at me. It should be you, blue. That was the fucking color of her eyes.

My fingers ran all over the dying body fluids on her arm. I didn't care anymore. If her eyes screamed that what would her brain be thinking? I _needed_ to make sure she was okay.

There were no holes or tears on her arm, anywhere. I made sure. I rubbed all over her, my hand getting covered in too warm blood and slime from it's _mouth_. I held back another gag.

"Go get paper towels," I told Puck when he was done. When it was dead.

"I don't..."

"Just get something to wipe this off with!" I hissed, hoping Brittany wouldn't hear for some reason.

He nodded and took off.

"Britt, you're good, okay?" I whispered, trying to decide if I should take her shirt off or not. It had blood on it. I didn't even see where I hit the fucking thing. Why the hell did so much blood just _gush_ out like that?

"Brittany he didn't bite you," I said louder, more forceful. She was okay. She needed to know she was okay. "I'm so...so so-sorry that happened."

I wiped my hands on my sweats. It stained in and left my hands red.

"Shh...okay? Right? I'll help you wash it all off. I promise. I-I'll carry you back if you need me too."

I didn't think I could carry Brittany back. I would be able to carry her on my back maybe, but I didn't know if I could make it to the mattress store. It was almost on the other side of the mall. It wasn't that she was heavy. It was that I was so out of shape.

She nodded stiffly but kept shaking.

"I found these!" Puck huffed, handing over a box of tissues.

My lip twitched and my face contorted as I shot a glare at him, grabbing the box. Tissues wouldn't soak up all this nasty bodily fluid! Couldn't he be smart about something else besides how to survive fucking zombies?

"We're going back," I said.

He nodded.

I pulled out a bunch of tissues and quickly let them absorb the blood on her face and under her jaw and neck. I wiped at the rest on her arm and didn't bother with her legs. She was still shaking.

"Is there anything out there?" I whispered, grabbing Brittany's jacket and helping her into the sleeves. Which was fucking _hard_ when she was sitting on the counter and so much higher up than me.

"No, I checked three times already," he said while wiping off the crowbar with a wad of tissues.

"That gate takes forever to open. The control box is in the display window."

Puck nodded and placed the crowbar on his belt, along with his gun I saw, and walked over to the entrance. Brittany wasn't starring into space anymore. Her eyes were just scarily empty.

"Brittany...let's go. I promise I won't let anything happen to you, I swear. I-I love you and I would never let one of them hurt you."

She nodded and it was so stiff I felt like it was just the motion and held no meaning.

"I promise," I whispered, pulling her off the counter.

* * *

><p>"Are you gonna talk to me soon?" I asked.<p>

I was washing Brittany's hair in the employee bathroom at the mattress store. We pulled a chair in so Brittany could sit down while I did it. She was wrapped in a towel. I helped wash the blood and ooze off her.

She shrugged her shoulders, her closed eyes flitting across the lid.

I was in new clothes already. I just washed my hands and splashed myself with water before changing into more sweats. I wanted to...pamper? Brittany when I helped her. I wanted to ease her out of the shock. But it was like it was permanent. It scared me. That made me think maybe she wasn't over her parents just yet. Which made me doubt she would eat anything now.

"Puck went around the whole store and made sure there's no way for more of them to get in."

She nodded a little as I scrubbed at her scalp with the fruity shampoo I picked out for her.

"He found some other cool stuff too. Like a radio and some CD's. He got some dried fruit from some store too."

I started to rinse the suds out of her hair. Maybe she was falling asleep? I wrung the water from her hair and patted it down with a towel, easing her head out of the sink.

* * *

><p>"Good shooting," Puck whispered in my ear.<p>

I couldn't figure out if I should glare or not, but whatever I did when I looked over at him had my eyebrows scrunched up and my mouth set. It made him _laugh_.

Laughing seemed so impossible.

I walked over the bed Brittany was in and pulled the mismatched blankets back. The radio was turned off, not that we really used it yet, and the crowbar was right beside my bed. Puck had his gun tucked in boot beside his bed.

"B?" I whispered, sneaking under the blankets.

Her body was curled in on itself and she was only dressed into a tee shirt and sweatpants. I had layers on with my sweatpants. In the back of my mind I wanted to be ready to move. Even though I knew we probably wouldn't be moving tonight. That would be stupid and stupid and, _oh yeah, _stupid.

Brittany turned and snuggled into my side.

"I love you."

I wrapped my arm around her and let my hand wander under her tee shirt. I scratched at her skin from the base of her spine to the base of her neck and shoulders. She sighed against me and blew warm breath on to my already warm skin. Her forehead was mushed up against my chin. I didn't care that it was uncomfortable for _me_. All that mattered was _her_.

Everything that ever _mattered_ was her.

Which was why I had to pull the trigger.

To save her.

I had to try and I would do it again. It was mostly adrenaline though, and the thought fresh in my mind that I had hit the same spot as Puck just a minute before. This was all getting risky.

I scratched around her back a few more times and then let my hand rest lightly against the small of her back. I closed my eyes.

* * *

><p><strong>Hey! this is shorter than the norm by about 800 words...but i figured if I update twice this week you guys would probably like more plot devlopment than 4k chapters that stick to one point in time. Which DO you prefer?<strong>

**And concerning guns, I know next to nothing. Please don't hold me to it, googled it and tried my best :)**

**Leave a review and thanks anons for reviewing like always and those who have favorited/alerted!**

**Wake me up with reviews please :D**

**xxRose**


	12. Ch 8 Smarts

**Chapter 8: Smarts**

"It's you or them," Puck grumbled.

We were in the bathroom trying to disinfect the crowbar. That fucking zombie had his blood and spit and puss all over it.

"Huh?"

He was getting to be annoying with all his psychological bullshit.

"The zombies," he said, cocking an eyebrow and pouring more bleach onto the metal bar. "Kill them or become them. I know you had a heart attack when you shot the gun. But you did good, and Brittany's fine. You saved her life for fuck's sake."

"Stop it."

I wrung the bunch of paper towels in my hands. I was supposed to only be a minute in here with Puck. Brittany wasn't really talking still and she was all sorts of jittery. A warm paper towel on her forehead...well that made me feel better. It used to anyways before the whole state of Ohio got fucked over.

"No. This is serious. I know they _look_ like people, but they're all starting to rot and decay and turn to shit. Santana, if we don't kill them when they get in the way, they're going to get _us_. I don't want to turn into a piece of steak that some lifeless shithead thinks he can nibble on."

"And what? You think I do?"

I just needed him to _shut up_. I started twisting the paper towels again. The smell of bleach was overwhelming my nose.

"No." Puck covered the bottle of bleach. "I'm saying we need to protect ourselves. That means no throwing up in the middle of the night because you think you killed someone!"

That was like a slap in the face. Fuck him! I woke up from a god damn nightmare and my stomach was in knots. So what if I had to puke my guts out because the fucking thing that wanted to kill Brittany had a face and eyes that were still shiny and looked like a human.

"I heard you," he accused. "I know you got up and I could hear you gagging and fucking dry heaving. I bet Brittany did too. Just get it through your skull. If these zombies looked like they were in movies you wouldn't hesitate to shoot them. Just because it's taking a few weeks for their skin to get all nasty doesn't mean they're still human!"

"Puck, _fucking _shut _up_!" I shouted the damn paper towels ripping in two in my fists. "God, all you can talk about is zombies and killing them. They still have faces! They still look like people. I'm not in the god damn army, I'm not trained to kill things!"

"Go fucking Lima Heights on them, do something besides just _stand_ there like a little kid!"

I threw the wet paper towels at him and they smacked against his cheek.

"What? What was that for?"

"I'm god damn _trying_, okay?" I hissed, gripping the counter of the skin. My eyes were getting wet. Shit. Fucking breathe and keep it in. This isn't going to help shit.

"Lopez..." Puck started.

I closed my eyes and took deep breaths trying to calm myself down. There was just too much pressure to even deal with looking at him. I couldn't stand to do it. I couldn't stand to keep my fucking eyes open, how damn pathetic.

"Listen, that one. He looked like a zombie and you shot him. You shot him because he was going to kill Britt. I'm not _trained_ to kill people. I was trained to protect people. I don't want to hurt anyone, but I don't want to get hurt either. And whoever used to be that person, well if they got fucking bit then it's not them anymore. Once they're bit it's over. You're done."

"Why do you know so much about this?" I whispered. He was like the fucking god of zombies.

"I don't know jack shit," he said and turned the water on. I watched out of the corner of my eye as he rinsed the bleach off the crowbar.

"All I know is that when I was in school there was talk...like rumors or whatever. But people were always thinking about something like this happening. They said it would probably stay in one place. Like it would be controlled some how. I don't really know. All I know is that what I was taught there included things like mass breakouts of sickness or whatever it's called."

"A pandemic?" I asked, standing up.

He looked at me and nodded.

"Yeah. When it gets out and infects everything? Yeah, a pandemic."

"Shit."

What if the whole world was infected? What if it wasn't just Ohio? Oh god...I couldn't live in a world like that. I can barely stand _normal_ people. How the fuck could I run around surviving while every other person I meet wants to eat me?

"That's sick," I mumbled running a hand through my hair.

Puck just nods and turns off the water.

"I say we leave the mall tomorrow and keep moving toward Columbus."

"Why?"

"Because the last time we stayed in a place for two days that fucking gang came and took you and almost raped you and Britt. This is day three. Tomorrow would be four-"

"Yay, you can count," I mumbled under my breath.

"_Four_ is too many. If you wanna stay with Britt I'll give you my gun and go out and grab some supplies to leave. I won't get eaten or anything, okay?"

I nodded and grabbed more paper towels, lowering them under the stream of hot water.

"Good. I'll probably be a few hours, but I'll get everything we need. I'll get you a shit load of stuff. New stuff to wear-" I cocked an eyebrow at him, watching his reflection in the mirror "-stuff that will be easier to move in and warmer."

"If you're doing my shopping maybe you should take down my sizes, Noah. Since you're being _such_ a gentleman."

* * *

><p>"Where'd Puck go?" Brittany asked softly. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, blanket wrapped around her shoulders like a cape, with a water bottle in her lap.<p>

"He's going to grab some stuff," I said.

I sat down next to her after grabbing a bag of dried kiwi. Puck said dried fruit could last for like a year or something if the package wasn't opened. I ripped the top off and pulled a piece out. It was bright green with little black seeds still in it and it felt brittle against my fingers.

"What is that?" Brittany asked.

"It says kiwi but it doesn't smell like kiwi," she shifted closer to me, resting her head against my shoulder, "I hope it tastes better than it smells."

It was so fucking sweet. It was like a raisin or something. It mushed all over my mouth and attacked my tongue with sugar. I swallowed it and wet my lips. Lopez, don't get fat off dried fruit!

"It's really good," I whispered, tucking my chin to my neck.

I felt Brittany nod against me, but I knew it didn't matter. I knew she wasn't eating again. She had nothing last night, between sleeping and waking up every few hours to move around a little. Then this morning she didn't eat anything, just sucked on water bottles. This mourning shit was killing me. I know her parents died...I know that's horrible, but she can't die because of that.

I won't let her. I couldn't lose her because I let her stop doing something so necessary as eating.

"Do you want to try?"

"I'm not hungry right now," she murmured against my shoulder.

I grabbed the wet paper towels off the bed, I put them down before I sat, and turned to face Brittany.

"Can we lie down and rest for a little?" I suggested, easing her head off my shoulder.

"Mm."

I nodded and watched as she adjusted so the blankets were hugging her body as she leaned back against the pillows. I followed and brushed her bangs off her forehead.

"What are you doin'?"

"It's just a warm paper towel, B."

"Oh."

I laid the wet paper against her head and smoothed it out. It wasn't really wet anymore but it was still warm. I slid down onto the pillows and threaded my fingers with Brittany's.

It was quiet.

"My mom used to do that too..."

It came out so quiet I thought I imagined it. My heart was creaking in my chest. God, why the hell is life so sick sometimes?

"Like when I was sad...now...sometimes she would give me medicine too, cause it was usually when I was sick. But it always tasted like bubble gum...but not really."

I squeezed her hand and nodded, though she wasn't looking at me. Her gaze was on the ceiling.

"Medicine never tastes like real bubble gum. It's always bad tasting. Like sugar free bubble gum. Why?"

My free hand wrapped around her forearm. I traced up and down. It was the spot it bit her. It's disgusting teeth touching perfect, pale skin.

I snuggled closer, my body pressing against her side.

"I don't know, B."

She nodded, seeming to accept it. Tears were pushing at my eyes. Brittany was always smarter than people gave her credit for. It sucked. Like right now. I was pretty sure she was somehow talking about her parents. It was all fucked up.

"I miss..." she whispered.

"I know," I mumbled.

I forced my right arm underneath her back and pulled her against me. The wet paper towel tumbled against my cheek as her forehead dropped to my neck.

* * *

><p><em>I swear to god I'm allergic to cats. <em>

_ Lord Tubbington is the goddamn biggest cat I've ever seen. And Brittany keeps pulling him onto her bed. _

_ "B, can you please kick him off?" I ask. _

_ Brittany is holding him against her chest, but that's where I want to be!_

_ Scratch that (no goddamn cat pun intended), I'm allergic to Lord Tubbington. _

_ He's looking at me like he knows it annoys me. _

_ "No, San, I haven't seen him for weeks! I missed him."_

_ Brittany presses her nose to his back and rocks him back and forth. Ugh. His overhanging fat swaying with the motion. _

_ "Pleasee?" I whine. "Summer's almost over and I need to get as much of you as I can."_

_ Her blue eyes snap open and her pink lips part. _

_ "Are we not doing this when summer ends?" she asks. _

_ Fuck you, Lopez._

_ "No! I mean—Yes! We're totally doing this Britt-Britt. I needs my sweet lady kisses." _

_ I crawl across the bed and push Tubbs out of her arms. He hisses and I hiss back, Brittany giggles. _

_ "Then what do you mean?" she whispers._

_ She's standing and I take advantage of it. I wants B all over me. _

_ "I meaan," I say, drawing out the words and leaning up so I'm on my knees._

_ I uncross her strong arms and finger her tank top. _

_ "Thaaat," I pull the fabric over head, "we don't have all the time in the world."_

_ She pouts and I smooth it out with my fingers. _

_ Brittany is standing in only shorts and a bra. It makes my mouth water. _

_ "Why do we need time?" _

_ My fingers dig into her hip bones, god I love low rise booty shorts. I smirk and pull her flush against me. _

_ "We need time to do things!" I giggle. _

_ Her brows furrow and I pout at her. God, she's too cute sometimes. _

_ "Britts I love this," I buck my hips into hers, trying to ignore the heat crawling all over my body, "but once summer ends we can't do it all day. That's like seven hours wasted that I could spend scissoring."_

_ She blushes, and her eyes shine a little bit brighter blue. _

_ I pull her down on top of me, giggling like idiots. _

_ "Ah, and three more hours if you count cheerio practice!" I gasp, burrowing my head into her neck. I breathe in and all I can smell is sun screen. Her mom makes her pack on so much, I doubt she could burn if she was standing on the sun. _

_ "But we can try to do that in the showers, like that one time," she says. _

_ Gah. That was soo hot. _

_ But I think I nearly had a heart attack about five times before we were done. _

_ "No way, I think I might die."_

_ I can feel her lips smile against my cheek. _

_ I start sucking on her neck and all of a sudden Brittany's full weight is dropped onto my body. I groan slightly but keep sucking and nipping her skin. _

* * *

><p>"Lopez!" Puck shouted.<p>

I eased myself out of Brittany's arms. She whimpered and sat up.

Puck was standing outside the security gate wielding a bloody crowbar and sweating.

"Come here and help me get this stuff inside!"

I jogged over to the gate and helped him throw it up. Then I grabbed two giant plastic bags, stuffed full of various items. It looked like a lot of dried food and water bottles and then clothes and random survival gear.

"Did you run into some?" I asked under my breath once we got all the bags inside and were pulling the security gate back down. And when I said we I meant him pulling down the gate.

"Ye," he grunted. Ye? Yeah?

"Need to bleach the crowbar?"

He nodded and slammed the gate down the rest of the way.

"Just two, but it's like more and more are coming out and figuring their way out of places. Like those two at McDonald's? They're out."

"Shit..." I mumbled.

"It's fine," he whispered and looked at all the bags. "We get all this stuff sorted out and then we can go tomorrow when we feel like it."

"Right."

"How is she?"

I glanced over my shoulder to see blonde hair and blue eyes scanning the room, aimlessly.

"She's not eating. Can you try to get her to eat something?" I asked.

He nodded and cracked his back.

"I'll try. Is it because she almost got bit?"

"I think, but her parents...too."

He nodded again and pushed back the awkward length of his mohawk.

"You need a haircut," I grumbled.

Puck shot me a nasty look and shook his head.

"You need a facial," he smirked.

We all needed goddamn facials. We all needed an expensive getaway to a fucking spa.

* * *

><p>Puck didn't get Brittany to eat anything. I was worried and it was starting to make me feel nauseous. But with that radio and some CD's I got Brittany to dance a little.<p>

I was nothing like she could do. It was just...exercise at that point.

Her blonde hair flying in different directions as her body changed motions. There were twirls, jumps, and a few stomps. It only lasted fifteen minutes and then Puck joined in when she was tired, twirling her around. They were laughing and I could hear them from where I sat a few yards away. I guess. I really wasn't good with estimating distance...

I was planning how to get food into Brittany, but more importantly looking at what Puck had stolen. I guess it couldn't have been stolen at this point. There was no one in the store and zombies were taking over the state. Yeah, none of this stuff was _stolen_.

He got weird stuff. Lots of layers, but boots and cargo pants and...a leather jacket? It was all stuff I would have to try on tomorrow, but I checked all the sizes to make sure it would all fit.

Most of the other stuff he got was either guns or stuff _for_ guns. Bullets. Etc. Yup.

There was more dried fruit (I was so gonna binge on dried kiwi), and then survival supplies: first aid kits, another sleeping bag...no just two more heavier sleeping bags (guaranteed for below forty degrees Fahrenheit), water, lighters and matches, more survival gear...and three knives.

They weren't big. Just big and sharp enough to know that if I cut my finger I wouldn't be getting it back unless it was sewn on.

The song changed to a ballad. I forget which artist. Some slow and pretty to listen to.

"Lopez!" Puck screeched.

I looked over my shoulder to see Puck walking towards me.

"Yeah?"

"Come dance with your girl!"

My heart thundered in my chest.

It was weird to hear someone say that. Say something was so old. She hadn't been mine in three years.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry to be a pain and not update 100% on time. But here it is! Shorter, but I'm planning on writting all weekend long so maybe something if you're lucky. I don't blame anyone but myself for not updating as best as I could, but reviews are hardcore motivation and the best way to get anyone on fanfiction to update faster. Just saying. ;)<strong>

**So reivews are always welcome, and I hope you get this email because ff has been doing some weird things...make sure to always check for updates manually!**

**xxRose**


	13. Ch 9 Bust a Move

**Chapter 9: Bust a Move**

* * *

><p><em>The weirdest thing in the world is love.<em>

_L O V E_

_ How can a word like that mean _so_ many different things? How can it be used _so_ many different ways?I love my parents, but I love my car too. (It has personality, okay? Judge my car for its beat up tail light. Judge it. I _dare_ you.) Then I love food and bread sticks and water. And alcohol. And music and singing and dancing. And in a weird way I love being on the Cheerios. I love my friends, Quinn and Puck. I love my _best_ friend, Brittany. _

_ There are so many loves. _

_ Sometimes I feel like they are too many. There's no accurate number on how many and there's no limit._

_ Is there a wrong way to love?_

_ I know that sometimes my love of food is inappropriate. I could eat so much sometimes I'll make myself sick. Well, if I wasn't on Coach Sylvester's food plan I would. _

_ But, like creepy people who love little kids. Like pedophile or child molesters. Sometimes those people are insane or broken. They got treated the same way when they were little and it made them crazy. They were taught it was okay to love like that when really it's not. _

_ I don't know. I'm just confused. _

_ See, Brittany is like this crazy hot, amazing, funny, person. I've known her for years. I don't think I ever felt this way before, I can't really remember when it started or if it was always there. Either way I _think_ I'm _in_ love with Brittany. Not, like, love as a friend or a best friend or a sister. I want to _do_ things with her. _

_ I want to kiss her lips and touch her hair and hold her and snuggle. I...kind of want to know what it would feel like to touch her everywhere. I've done some stuff with Puck. Just joking around and experimenting. Like I touched his dick and let him touch my boobs. _

_ I think...that I want to touch Brittany's boobs. _

_ Gah. Blah. It sounds weird even in my mind. _

_ Not in a bad way, necessarily. It's just different._

_ But is it wrong? _

_ I don't care if other people are gay, but how would I feel if it was me?_

_ How would I feel if I was gay? _

_ My parents...they wouldn't. They just wouldn't. _

_ Wouldn't feel._

_ Wouldn't feel anything and it really wouldn't be paraded around. It would be pushed back. Hidden. I can't stand even uttering the word around them. And my abuela. What would she think?_

_ Brittany's always so touchy and I love it. I love it when we watch crazy, stupid TV and she lays on me. I love when she asks me for help or just talks for hours with me. I love seeing her little sister and helping her find Lord Tubbington when he gets outside. _

_ I love her bright, beautiful (sap alert!), blue eyes. I love the freckles that are dusted across her nose and I love her pale, creamy skin. I love her long, shiny, blonde hair. I love it when it's straight or wavy or curled. _

_ I could literally write a book on what I love about her. _

* * *

><p>Brittany wrapped her arms around my shoulders and I complied, wrapping my arms around her waist.<p>

"I need to talk," she whispered seriously, a glow in her blue eyes.

"Okay," I nodded and swiped a piece of blonde hair behind her ear.

She sighed and started swaying lightly to the music. It was light and pretty, who ever was singing wasn't over powering the instrumentals.

"I miss my parents-"

"Britt-" Her index finger covered my lips.

"No. Santana you wouldn't let me talk before. I need to get it out."

I nodded and she took her index finger and ran it down my chin, jaw, and neck until her arm was around my shoulders again.

"It happened so fast," she murmured. "And I didn't even have time to, like cry about it. I know I cried, but I wasn't really thinking that they were really dead. Because they are dead, and it's super sad."

Everything she said was getting thick and her voice was hitching too, getting soft but then loud. I knew this would end in tears. I knew the tears in her ocean eyes were already there. I didn't know that I was almost crying too. Brittany wiped right under my eye with her thumb, smiling softly at me.

"You don't know what happened to your parents either?"

I shook my head and started our swaying again.

"I just know that both of their cars were gone. I don't know what happened to them."

Brittany sighed and closed her eyes for a minute.

"I wish this never happened..."

I nodded and tightened my grip on her waist, tracing up and down her spine through her Tshirt.

"But then I wouldn't get to be with you like this."

"What?" I choked out. That was her positive in all of this? Being with me? It made heat spread from my chest to my toes and fingers and ears. She was my one positive too.

"All of this sucks, really bad. But I'm glad that you're here with me for it. I really need you, Santana. I really love you and need you. And since what happened to my mom and dad...I never want that to happen to you!"

Brittany pulled me closer, so our fronts were touching. Our chests pressed together along with layers of cloth.

Wanky. Grah. Lopez, you perv. Grr, but judge me for getting turned on by Britt's boobs. I'm a sexual being. Jerks.

"I don't either Britt-Britt. I'm so sorry it happened to you," I tugged her tighter to me, stopping our dance and just holding her close, "but all I know right now is that I have you...and Puck. We just need to focus on getting to Columbus and then hopefully this will all be over."

Brittany nodded against me.

"...We can be together then," she whispered so softly.

"Absolutely."

Brittany starts swaying again, this time rocking her weight from foot to foot.

"Puck wants to leave tomorrow," I whispered, pulling back.

Brittany looked at me with wide blue eyes and a small pout.

"Why?"

"The last time we stayed somewhere for more than a day Rodger and those guys found us."

Her gaze fell to the floor, watching our feet shuffle around. Well, hers move gracefully and I blindly follow.

"It's for the best. What if that happens again? I couldn't take that."

She nodded but didn't look back up at me.

I breathed deeply and waited a few beats before I confronted her about her eating habits. I needed to get it out there and get her to acknowledge it. I took one of her hands from my neck and threaded my fingers with hers, letting her lead me around the small cleared area in the back of the store.

Brittany looked up and smiled, squeezing my fingers and starting out in a circle.

"You need to eat something before we leave, B," she faltered a little but recovered her steps smoothly. "I really, _really_ need you to eat something. Remember what Puck said? Remember what happened to me? I passed out because I was dehydrated."

"I'm drinking water," she mumbled halfheartedly.

"I know," I told her softly. "But you need food, too. You have to be strong and awake and able to run. Food does that for you."

"I know that."

"I know you know that. But why aren't you eating?"

She shrugged and twirled me around.

Brittany paused our motion once she caught me, for a moment, and then started up catching pace with the beat of the song.

"It feels wrong," she said.

"Why?"

I wanted to understand. I was trying so hard to find a way to make _her_ understand that she needed to eat.

"People are dying and turning into zombies," she shrugged again. "Why should I eat if so many bad things are happening to people?"

Brittany dipped me, one hand splayed against my lower back, holding me a foot from the ground. I was panting trying to keep up with her.

"Not eating isn't gonna bring anyone back, B. You should eat so you can help them. Once we get to Columbus and find more people...then we need to help everyone who finds shelter there. We need to make it there. You need to eat."

She slowly raised me from the dip, the music speeding back to its original tempo.

"That doesn't make a lot of sense," she mumbled, concentrating on our dance.

"But it does," I promised, squeezing her fingers.

The song started to slow and fade. As it came to an end Brittany twirled me again, then pulled me flush against her. She was breathing heavy and I was trying to keep my lungs from squeezing out my throat. I was so out of shape. No god damn endurance. Even so, I looked up and watched as my fingers spread out along Brittany's cheeks. There was confusion in her eyes but I ignored it and tugged her mouth toward mine.

I pressed out mouths together and let our lips massage against each other. She mewed, securing her grip around my back. Before she could make a move though, I swallowed her pink lips with mine. I sucked at the end, making her lips pop from my mouth. Her lips were so wet and kissable. I heard her gasp as I crushed her mouth back to mine.

I playfully bit her bottom lip, smirked, and then sucked on it. I could feel Brittany's hands raking up and down my back. The second I let her mouth free she poked her tongue into my mouth. It was smooth and wet. I tugged her even closer, wanting her mouth to bruise against mine, when her tongue screwed up and shot out. Not in a bad, tongue down your throat way. It was so sexy and hot. It was like a corkscrew, wrapping around all the wet and tickling my mouth before bolting to wrap around my tongue. Wanky.

"It is _not_ fair if you two go down on each other!"

We broke apart, panting even harder.

"That is hot and all but this is not the time, lady lovers!" Puck screeched.

Oh my god, when did Puckerman turn into a fucking cock-block?

"Screw off," I hissed while Brittany hid her face in my hair and shoulder. I could feel the heat coming off her. I was sure she was blushing. It was cute.

"No way," Puck growled as he walked over to the radio. "I didn't think soft, icky mushy lovey music would make you two want to get it on. Oh, wait...It's Brittany and Santana, why _wouldn't_ I think that? God, I should _know_ that!"

"Idiot," I called as he walked back to his mattress. "Of course mushy music makes me horny! It makes mushy, sexy, _feelings_!"

Puck scoffed and swatted at the air around him.

"Get your lesbian cooties away from me!" he shrieked in a high voice. He was such a douche sometimes. "Wait, no give them to me!" He turned and smiled really big. "If I turn into a hot ass lesbian we could have a threesome!"

"Then Puckasaurus would become Puckgina and would suck things up like a vaccum."

Puck's eyes bulged out of his head and I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe and Brittany had to hold me up.

"Britt..."

"That's what would happen," she stated, hugging me so hard, I still couldn't stand I was dying of laughter.

"Whatever, go to bed soon!" Puck grumbled, turning and walking away.

* * *

><p><em>Brittany is good.<em>

_ Brittany is beautiful._

_ Brittany doesn't care. _

_ Brittany understands me. _

_ Brittany loves me too._

* * *

><p>"Okay, eat."<p>

Brittany looked at me like I'm the devil. Okay, to a few select few I was.

"Please," I begged softly, handing her the dried kiwi package and box of Lucky Charms. "All of it tastes like...a rainbow (a rainbow?). Plus, it would make me so happy."

"Fine," she said, shoveling a handful of cereal into her mouth, "happy?"

I nodded and squeaked: "Super!"

* * *

><p>After Brittany ate we went into the bathroom washed each other. There was kissing too, but it was light and sweet. Nothing heavy like after we danced. That was too hot for words. Just easy pecks or lingering swipes of tongue. There was really no touching except if it involved a sponge or cloth.<p>

Then there was a little more eating and mostly packing. We listened to old CD's like Britney Spears and Madonna and some weird hardcore scream-o, metal CD Puck somehow got into the radio. We all brushed our teeth and then crawled into bed. Puck played _solitaire_ by himself for a little while, and we still hadn't ever shut the lights in the store off. So Brittany and me huddled under the blankets for darkness after Puck threw pillows at us, yelling: "Don't get it on! I can't sleep to those noises!"

* * *

><p>I could hear my blood pumping, pounding against my ears. I pulled on the black boots Puck got me and tied the laces tight. I was surprised everything he got fit so well: the boots, the leather jacket, the cargo pants and jeans, the layers. He even got me aviator sunglasses. I looked like a total BAMF.<p>

Out of everything, the socks were too big. Like, I need to tape them to my leg to stay up, too big. It was annoying as fuck. Luckily the boots were just tight enough to keep the shitty socks from pooling at my ankles.

Brittany looked so fucking hot. She was in similar clothes: a cute bomber jacket, jeans, boots, and white wayfarer sunglasses. Her hair was pulled back in a bun, the sunglasses resting on the top of her head.

"Tell me how any of this is better to run in?" I asked Puck.

I was more concerned about being able to move fast if I needed to than looking like walking sex.

"Dude, a baby could outrun a zombie," he shoved more food packages into his pack, "chill out."

"Sorry, Puckgina," I scoffed softly, making Brittany giggle.

It was like hearing sweet, little bells chiming.

I grabbed my beat up, nasty cheer sneakers and tucked them into my pack. They would be easier to run in and I wasn't going to leave them behind just because they were beat up and stained with dirt like the rest of our old clothes.

After strapping our sleeping bags to the tops of our packs (Puck had just gotten two heavier ones because he kept the only single for himself since it was guaranteed for below sixty degrees! Bastard!) and a crash course in guns, we opened up the security gate.

"Hold my hand?" Brittany asked.

I grabbed it and squeezed her fingers so hard.

"Okay, so mall exit's...that way," Puck panted, shoving his map into one of his many pockets. "Try to ignore...the shitheads walking...around."

"Sounds good. And if we need to run I'll try to create a distraction so they don't eat you since your _so_ in shape."

I smirked and Puck _spat_ at me.

"The hell?"

"Shut up and start walking!"

"Fine," I grumbled and gave Brittany's fingers a squeeze.

Brittany pressed up next to me, our jackets ruffling together.

"There's so many of them now," she said.

I nodded, swallowing thickly. There _were_ so many zombies now. At least ten that I could see dragging themselves around. I gripped the crowbar tighter in my left hand. Yeah I had the crowbar. How could I _not_ have the crowbar? I wasn't gonna whip out the handgun Puck got me and start shooting at shit. Crowbar-ing it was the next best thing. Beating the shit out of any zombies that got too close.

"It's kind of scary," I whispered.

She nodded and kissed my cheek lighting quick. My skin burned where her lips touched.

As we neared the double door exits, more zombies turned up. At least fifteen were walking around aimlessly.

"Shit."

"Brittany take out your gun and Lopez cool your tits," Puck hissed. "We just need to get passed them. Once we're out the door it'll be fine."

"Right." It was Brittany's confident voice.

I felt like I was getting left behind again and it made my stomach whirl. No. Lopez, stop fucking yourself over and get your head on straight. Break some of their necks if they get too close and you'll be fine.

I watched as Puck and Brittany loaded magazines (Right? That's what they're called?) into their guns. I fiddled with the crowbar, my gun burning red hot at my side.

"Let's do it!" Puck shouted, and the goddamned zombies all turned their heads!

Fuck you, Puck!

Bang! Bang!

Two shots, both from Puck.

Two zombies down, both hit in the heads.

I ran forward ignoring my churning stomach and smashed a few zombies heads, blood splattering a little.

I could hear nothing as I raced forward, shoving dead bodies out of my way and whipping the crowbar around.

More shots rang out but I didn't care, I was at the door now. I turned and Brittany almost slammed into me, a grin on her face. It was so out of place but I smiled too at seeing her.

"The bungee cords!" she yelped, her nimble fingers prying at the knot Puck had made.

Bang! Bang, Bang!

Puck came barreling through, smashing into me.

"Fuck it!" I growled, shoving him off me. He was grinning too. It was like this crazy adrenaline rush. A very stupid, very dangerous high.

"Got it!" Brittany.

"Awesome!" Puck.

"Just go!" Me.

* * *

><p><em>"Are you high, Brittany?" I ask over the pounding music. <em>

_ Her blue eyes are all over the place and her smile just looks dopey not cute. (Okay it would be a _little_ cute if I wasn't so fucking worried)._

_ "SANTANA!" she yelps, rushing me. Okay, not rushing; more like drunkenly slamming into from loss of balance. _

_ "Pffffft, someone AWESOME gave me a cigarette...but I only did it, like twice."_

_ My arms wrap around her body and hold her up. It's like her legs are jelly all of a sudden. Her head is perched on my shoulder, her lips so close to my ear._

_ "I know someone...more awesome," she whispers huskily. _

_ "Uh, Britt-Britt I think it's time to go now," I say. _

_ This is crazy. We're at some house party and I know that it's overflowing with people but I didn't think people would be doing more than drinking. (Yeah I did, I knew it too. I just never thought _Brittany_ would more than drink.)_

_ "But...I wanna dance...Saaan."_

_ She pouts against my neck and my face flushes bright red. _

_ "You danced on a table for the first hour, B. It's like, one in the morning, people are starting to leave anyways."_

_ "Nooo," she groans dramatically. _

_ "Yeah," her hand sneaks into my pocket and I feel her pull out my keys, "and I'm driving!"_

_ "Race you!" she squeals, still high as ever, wobbling over to the door. _

_ I see Quinn glaring at me, but I give her the finger and walk after Brittany. She can be so bitchy sometimes. Like, oh god, just because she became a baby-dumper doesn't mean she can freak out all the fucking time. Just because she can't get back on the Cheerios doesn't mean she gets to go all bitchzilla on me. _

_ It's cool outside. I see Brittany a few feet away from my car and I walk faster in my heels. _

_ "Britt don't you fucking get in that car!" I yell._

_ "Too latee!" she sing songs, opening the driver side door and sliding in. _

_ Fuck me. _

_ I rush over and lean in the driver side only to see her struggling with the key and ignition. _

_ "Hmph, need some help?" I laugh. _

_ Her swimming blue eyes find mine and she pouts the most adorable pout ever._

_ Let's see...DON'T EVER LET BRITTANY GET HIGH AGAIN OR SHE'S GONNA CONTROL YOU WHENEVER SHE POUTS!_

_ "I'm...sleeeeepy," she hiccups, her head lolling back against the headrest._

_ "Yeah okay, move over."_

_ I steal the keys from her limp fingers and nudge her shoulder. _

_ "Come on, Britt! It's cold out here."_

_ She sighs and drunkenly climbs over the console into the passenger seat, limbs and giggles flying everywhere. _

_ I scoot in and start the car, blasting the heat._

_ "Can I stay...at your housee?" Brittany whispers, her head falling to my shoulder. _

_ "Uh—sure. Duh you're staying with me. Your mom wouldn't ever let you out of the house if she saw you like this!"_

_ I thank god that I only had a few drinks, like two. I pull down the street and Brittany starts _snoring_ against me. God I'm so fucking whipped. _

* * *

><p>We rushed out of the mall, swinging at zombies and running out of the parking lot. When we got to a main road Puck pulled out his map. We were looking for a car garage, according to him. He thought if there was going to be a working car it was going to be at the mechanics.<p>

Puck was kinda smart...sometimes. ("Fucking map...how the fuck it'd give me a paper cut?")

Eventually we found it, running inside because of all the fucking zombies littered outside it. There were about five cars inside with a few on those weird...car lifter things that were like six feet off the ground.

Most of the cars were destroyed except for the ones up in the air. So we spent like an hour figuring out how to get them down and once we figured it out, we spent another half hour looking for keys. Which we _could not_ find. Like, at all. It fucking sucked.

Brittany had this little determined pout on. It was adorable.

"What's up, Britt?" I whispered, kissing her cheek. My heart pounded when she blushed.

Puck was inside a truck...a suburban I think. It was the only one with a full tank of gas and good oil and the rest of all the good things cars should have.

"I know how to hot wire a car," she said.

What?

"Huh?"

She nodded and started twisting her hair. Why was she nervous?

"Some guy taught me during motocross. But sometimes you just need, like a screwdriver. A flat one."

That was too good to be true. A smile spread my lips and I could feel the tension seeping from my body.

"That's great! Let's find a fucking screw driver!"

We searched high and low and finally found one. Puck started draining gasoline from the other cars while Brittany started fiddling with the suburban. It was old, I guess, from what Puck and Brittnay said. It was a huge fucking car. Like a god damn tank. I was surprised it could stay up on the car lifter for so long without breaking it.

I sat in the back of the car, watching as Brittany gently tapped the screw driver into the ignition. After a few lip wettings and scrunched up faces she gripped the end of the screwdriver and turned.

The car roared to life.

"Oh my god," I said. "Oh my god!"

Puck raced over, his eyes wide and his face split in half by a smile.

"Thank fucking _god_ Britt!" he shouted, whooping and throwing his arms up in the air.

Brittany was smiling, sitting in the front and looking proudly at the steering wheel.

I smirked to myself and leaned forward, easing her chin toward me and pressed our lips together. Brittany 'umphed!' and smiled into the kiss. It was quick and sweet, with a little lip swallowing. Fuck, so sexy.

"You're amazing," I whispered against her mouth.

"I know," she said back, smirking at me.

The door whipped open and Puck threw a hiking pack at me, crashing it into my side.

"Ow!"

"Hurry! Let's get the packs in and the gasoline and go!"

So me and Brittany, smiling like idiots, tucked all the packs into the third row of seats while Puck placed all the tubs of gasoline into the very back. Eventually we figured out that Puck would drive first until he got tired and then it would be my turn, then Brittany's. It was also decided, by some idiotic plan, that me and Brittany would open up the garage doors so Puck could drive out, after we got back in.

That plan went off without a hitch, but it was close. Zombies were pounding on the door and I nearly had a heart attack when they started pounding on the windows of the truck once we got inside and Puck was driving. That is, until Puck thought he was playing, like need for speed, and gunned it through the town and onto a highway.

It was weird to hear another voice as the navigator on the dash spat out directions, in some scratchy voice.

I leaned against Brittany and felt her arms circle around me.

"Tired?" she whispered against my head.

"Yeah," I yawned.

"So go to sleep."

Her smooth voice was soothing. Almost as soothing as her fingers carding through my hair. That and the growl of the engine had me closing my eyes.

Brittany pressed her lips to my forehead and then leaned back. I could hear her breathing evening out as her chest slowly expanded and deflated underneath me.

I wanted to think but my mind was blank. So I thought about Brittany and how perfect this was for a zombie infested, seeming apocalyptic world.

* * *

><p><strong>So an update! Yeah? Yeah! I'll try to write more, no promises, hopefully something will be up by Thursday. :)<strong>

**Thanks for everyone who favorites, alerts, REVIEWS! (I love you guys!) and reads! It means so much. **

**xxRose**


	14. Ch 10 Long Ass Drive 1

**Chapter 10: Long Ass Drive Part 1 **

When Puck offered shooting practice I thought he was crazy. What could I shoot while he was driving a monster of a truck? A tree? But no. He actually _needed_ me to shoot the zombies that were crowding the back road. Mother fucking yes.

The truck had a crapy, self-installed sunroof. I practically broke it when I pushed it open. The glass was so stiff. Once I was up, Brittany holding my legs, Puck started to slow down the truck. I didn't need Brittany to hold me but I think it made her feel better. She still hadn't killed a zombie yet, which was so innocent and great of her (how fucked does that sound? But some of them still looked like people...), but it was growing on me.

The fucking rush of pulling a trigger and feeling the little kick of the gun... It made it feel like the impact of the bullet into the fucking undead body. It made it feel like pay back, like I was punching its teeth out or something. Just the physical kick made it seem like _I_ was killing the target and not the bullet through its dead brain.

"Nail those fuckers in the middle of the road!" Puck yelled, a crazy happy tinge to his voice.

"Careful." Brittany's mouth was pressed into the back of my knee. I could feel her lips moving yet I barely heard the words.

"Got it Britt," I assured. "Puckerman can't this thing go any faster? Look at them all. I'm not gonna hit anything if you don't speed it up!"

Puck chuckled: "Haven't you ever seen a ass wipe action movie? Everyone misses the target if they're moving too fast!"

"Fine," I grunted. "I'll take these two for practice shots and _then_ you speed it up."

"Yeah, yeah. Stop talking and get shooting!"

I readjusted my sunglasses and cocked the gun. I steadied the shot on the undead woman's head; her ear if you wanna be exact. A whole side of her face was shredded off. The skin was hanging down my her chin. Bluh. It made me want to throw up.

Bang!

She fell down and I smirked. The other woman zombie looked toward me and groaned.

"Bitch."

Bang!

"Sharp shooter Lopez!" Puck whooped and I heard him smashing his hand against the steering wheel.

"Good job," Brittany whispered into my knee.

"Thanks," I said, grinning. This was way too fun. Especially since a few days ago I would have been throwing up all the dried kiwi I ate if I was shooting down zombies with their faces hanging off and their intestines slipping out of their stomachs. "Speed it up so I can shoot the rest that are down there!"

"Hold on!"

The truck revved up like thunder and zoomed down the road. Brittany fell against my legs, making my knees almost give out.

"Careful!" I chuckled looking down at her.

She turned up and smiled at me: "You just hang onto something."

I liked looking at the blue of her eyes in the sunlight. It made them sparkle and glow. It was weird to see them so amazing in such a shit world. I was convinced everything was falling down by now. There were so many zombies just everywhere.

The truck slowed again and I my eyes focused on my next targets. Four this time. Hm, easy.

* * *

><p>"So just follow—ahh-the map," Puck yawned, "away from towns up to Columbus."<p>

"I got it," I adjusted the rear view mirror and shifted into drive. "Now go pass out before I send you out to check the oil too."

Puck had just refilled the gas. He grumbled something before pulling his sleeping bag over his head and going quiet.

"You can sleep too, Britt."

Brittany was up in the passenger seat, map spread out on her lap, tracing different main roads and highways. She looked up and smiled at me while shaking her head.

"No, I'm okay," she said softly. "Besides someone needs to make sure you don't fall asleep."

I smirked and pulled back onto the road.

"I slept more than you did. And I had the comfiest pillow _ever_."

She giggled.

"My boobs?"

I nodded, grinning so big. I pulled off my aviators and tossed them at her.

"Santana!" she gasped, laughing.

"Start talking about vaginas and I'll be the happiest man alive!"

It came from the back and I glanced back only to see Puck still under his sleeping bag.

"Why would you want that?" Brittany asked.

I smirked, "Yeah, why Puckgina? Don't you already know enough about vaginas?"

"I know enough about yours..." he mumbled.

"You know enough about it's door mat, you never lasted more than a minute."

Puck scoffed and Brittany laughed, like really _laughed_, snorting noises included.

"Laugh it up!" Puck called, ripping the sleeping bag off his head and pulling his arms out from under. "Nothing's going on so you can all keep laughing, lesbians!"

"I'm _bi_lingual," Brittany stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"I think you mean bisexual," I whispered.

"Oh, that too," she said with a nod.

It was getting dark. I flipped the head lights on and the high beams. They weren't the best but I could see pretty far ahead. I was kind of nervous though. Not super nervous. Just in the back of my mind I kept thinking driving at night would mean that people would see us or that zombies would follow the truck.

Fingers circled my neck, gentle and soft.

"What're you thinking about?" Brittany hushed.

"Hm nothing." I sighed it out, twisting my neck around trying to feel out a crack.

"You have that look though. I know you. Please, Santana?"

I glanced and stiffened to see her face so close. She was leaning over the console with her head almost resting against my arm. She looked tired. Little bags were starting to show under her eyes.

"Just about the lights."

"The lights?"

"Maybe people can see them or zombies. What if they follow us or something?"

Brittany giggled softly and started squeezing my neck a little. It felt good. I wanted to have her fingers and hands massage my whole body. Yeah, whole body. _Everywhere_. I wanted that.

"We're in a moving car."

I nodded, licked my lips. This was weird. Talking about physical fears with her. The fact that it was so absurd and ridiculous made my mind buzz. My neck was getting warm from her touches. I licked my lips again. I could feel her stare on my skin. It felt good.

"That's fine for zombies, but what about people? Like gangs? There has to be more people out here. If I saw a working car I would go after it."

Her hand disappeared from my skin and rand down my cloth-clad leg. It sent tingles down my spine and through my skull. Her hands were so good. Yeah, hands can be _good_ without being good like _that_. But her hands are fucking _fantastic_ like that. Bitches.

"We'll be fine," Brittany assured, flicking blonde hair over her shoulder.

I scrunched up my face as her fingers tightened at my knee cap.

"How do you know?"

She smiled and kissed my neck. Her lips were cold but maybe that was just because my neck got so, so hot. It was quick though and nothing compared to what I was hoping for. Nothing compared to what Puck was dreaming for. God, he can be such a perv.

"Because I still believe in you."

I blinked. The road was dark, no yellow line for passing traffic. It was an old back road that somehow led to Columbus.

"Thanks," I whispered.

Her lips smiled against my neck, closer to my jaw now, and then were gone. I sighed. In relief or disappointment.

We talked a little more until Brittany started leaning heavier against the window.

"Sleep. I still have a few more hours to drive."

"What if you get tired too?" she whispered, eyes closed and brows furrowed.

"I'll wake you up then."

She groaned softly, cutely, and sighed. She was fighting with the seat belt.

"Unbuckle already. I swear I won't crash the car."

Brittany did as I suggested and then leaned the chair back and curled up. The map lay forgotten in the foot space and my aviators were perched on the dash.

* * *

><p>"Driving sucks," I groaned to myself.<p>

Puck and Brittany were asleep. God, the clock on the dash said it was almost two in the morning. That meant I had been driving for almost six hours.

My eyes were starting to droop. Nothing was exciting enough to keep me awake. Brittany's little snores were cute and Pucks throat shattering ones weren't even funny anymore. His snores sounded like a walrus battle cry. At first I couldn't hold in my laughs but now I wanted to tape his mouth shut and hold his nose so he would wake up.

When I started swerving I decided I needed to stop.

"B wake up," I hissed.

* * *

><p><em>"I don't know why you came here if you can't drink, Tubbers."<em>

_ "Shut up, Santana!"Quinn hisses. _

_ I grab her solo cup and look inside. _Water_. _

_ "Really, Q? Don't want the lizard baby to come out with a third nipple or anything do you?"_

_ Quinn smacks the cup out of my hand, splattering it every. Most of it gets on my heels and legs. _

_ "Bitch!" I hiss. _

_ "I don't even know why I bothered coming here," Quinn says and walks out of the kitchen. _

_ The music is pounding against the walls like it's trying to tear the house down. I haven't even taken a shot yet. No one's in the kitchen anymore though. It's not fun to take shots by yourself. I quickly grab some paper towels and pat down my legs before I rush back into the living room turned dance floor. All the couches and chairs are pushed up against the walls and some kid from the senior class has all his DJ equipment set up on a table in front of the fireplace. _

_I see Brittany in the middle of the mob, grinding all over people. My stomach twists. She's obviously drunk and enjoying all the dick in her ass. Fuck I wanted to do that. Wait, no I don't. Fuck yes I do. Fuck! _

_ I look around and see Puck sitting on a couch with a red cup and Quinn is standing next to him. She's probably bitching to go home. Sure, it sucks that she got kicked out, but she was stupid for not using a god damn condom. Fucking idiot. _

_ Shit. Just forget everyone and get dancing. _

_ I push my way through people until I'm standing next to Brittany. I grab her wrist and pull her into me. _

_ "Come take some shots with me," I shout in her ear over the music. _

_ She looks at me with her big, toothy drunk off her ass smile and nods. I pull her back to the kitchen and she leans against the counter. Brittany is _so_ drunk. I want to be that drunk. _

_ "Did you like all those guys dicking your ass?" I ask while I search for the little Dixie cups. Gotcha. _

_ I grab them and pull two out of the packaging. I find the tequila easily enough and then pour it into the cups. _

_ "Here!" I shove a cup into Brittany's hands. She gives me a wink and then downs it. _

_ I throw back my head and swallow, the liquid burning down my throat. It's warm and harsh and I just want more of it. _

_ "Uh. Stretchmarks was bitching to me earlier," I grumble while pouring another shot. _

_ Brittany puts down her cup and frowns at me. _

_ "Quinn is nice." _

_ I pour tequila into her cup._

_ "No she's a bitch."_

_ Brittany pouts and her sloppy fingers fumble around the cup. Getting her drunk and trying to have a legit conversation probably isn't a good idea. _

_ "She's sad."_

_ Brittany throws back the shot and I follow. _

_ "It's her _fault_ that she got kicked out of her fucking house and got fucking pregnant."_

_ Brittany shakes her head her eyes starting to swim. _

_ "But sometimes it's not your fault if you get pregnant...like if the rubber breaks open." She starts giggling and falls forward, wrapping her arms around my neck. _

_ "Britt, come on!" I groan into her ear. _

_ She just giggles again._

_ "Maybe if you're nicer to Quinn...I'll try to...make a baby with...-Puck?"_

_ "Puck?" I growl. _

_ Brittany pushes off me and shakes her head. _

_ "Quinn can't find her purse, have you seen it?" he asks. _

_ Fuck. Puckerman is doing the domestic shit with Q? No fucking way. That's not right. _

_ "Uh, fuck no. She should learn to fucking keep track of it."_

_ "Well she's pretty pist off. She's making me take her home."_

_ "Have Finn take her home," I purr and touch his hand. _

_ "I'm doing," he whispers and walks away._

_ I turn to find Brittany looking angry, but like she can't control the expression on her face._

_ "What?"_

_ "Stop flirting with Puck."_

_ I shrug and pour another shot. My body is warming up and that one didn't even burn too bad. _

_ I pull Brittany against me, making sure no one is in the kitchen, and press my lips against her ear. _

_ "If you make a baby with me I'll never talk to him again," I breath. _

_ I literally feel her shiver under my hands and nod._

_ "I'll get you pregnant on my fingers," she whispers and I laugh. _

_ Fucking alcohol. Fucking Quinn getting pregnant. Fucking Puck. Fucking secret Fucks._

* * *

><p><strong>So this is super short! Sorry! But it's an update. Fun fun! Yay, nay? I will probably have a longer chapter, part 2, up this weekend hopefully. That or thursday. We're gonna try out the twice a week thing, but this would be about how long the weekday update would be and then the weekend would be longer, like around the usualy 4k or 5k words. <strong>

**Happy readings! And thanks everyone for reading/reviewing (REVIEWS ARE MY FAV)/alerting/favoriting! :) Makes my day. And constructive critisism is so welcome! Tell me how to make it better!**

**xxRose**


	15. Ch 10 Long Ass Drive 2

**Chapter 10: Long Ass Drive Part 2**

"What is that up there?" It was Puck.

I cracked my eyes open and pushed myself into a sitting position. The digital clock on the dashboard was blurry...but the numbers looked like an eight and a seventeen. My mouth tasted terrible. It was dry and warm and just bad morning breath. I _needed_ to brush my teeth. Grah. All I could taste was shit. Fuck I wanted to spit.

"It kinda looks like...people?" That was Brittany.

I squinted, my vision clearing up a little. Fuck it.

I leaned over to door and rolled down the window, sticking my head out.

"Santana? What are you doing?"

I spat. Huge, loogey, globs of spit. Lopez, you fucking animal. Shut up.

I heard a giggle and turned to look up front only to see Brittany smiling at me with her eyes closed.

"Want a water bottle?"

A bottle was tossed into my lap. Puck smirked at me in the rear view mirror.

"That was sexy," he scoffed.

"Uh huh," Brittany grinned as I sipped on the water.

Puck continued to squint out the windshield at whatever was up ahead. I guessed that it was morning. There wasn't any sun out because it was cloudy but I could see the road and the trees and grass. There was like gray light everywhere, like when the sun shines through the clouds. I couldn't see what Puck and Brittany were looking at. In the back of my head I thought of it being zombies but that didn't really bother me as much anymore. Especially since we had a monster truck and could plow through them if we didn't shoot them first.

"How long was I asleep for?" I asked.

Brittany turned around again and smiled at me.

"A while. Once you got in the back seat when you woke me up to drive you passed out. You were snoring too. It was cute."

"Too cute, Lopez."

I rolled my eyes. So fucking what?

"What were you two talking about?"

Brittany turned around to peer out the windshield. Her hair was pulled back into pony tail and her coat was off.

"There's something up ahead," Puck relied a moment later. "It could just be more zombies. We're about twenty miles from Columbus. Took fucking forever with all those damn back roads."  
>Brittany's fingers latched onto Puck's shoulder, squeezing.<p>

"You shouldn't swear so much," she smiled.

Puck squeaked, yeah like really _squeaked_, when she pinched the skin of his neck. Like, right where his adam's apple was.

"Fuck."

Brittany's brows pushed together and she pouted. Suddenly all I wanted to do was touch her.

"Britt come back here with me," I whined softly. "I needs my Brittz."

She smiled softly at me but it glowed so much. Her whole face lit up and her eyes were like candles, soft and shimmery. She unbuckled, something I wasn't, (I trusted Puckerman enough to no roll the fucking car. Maybe that's stretching it but it's not like there's much to hit on the back roads.) and climbed over the center console and into the seat next to me. She smiled even bigger and I just lost it. Like I really fucking did. I couldn't stop my lips from spreading. I felt like one of those creepy clowns that's mouths are permanently curled.

"You got me," Brittany said softly, delicately.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Puck frowning. Maybe he really did feel lonely. Or maybe he was just concentrating on the road and trying not to make crude comments.

"I love you," I said just because I could.

Brittany smirked and scooted closer to me. She laced her arm through mine and then placed her free hand on top of mine.

"I know."

I smiled even bigger, like my mouth was starting to hurt. It was nice.

"Really? Nothing else to say?"

She winked and shook her head, "Nope."

"I guess I suddenly love Puck a lot more."

Puck sneered and smacked the steering wheel.

"I'm dangerously handsome," he hummed.

"I think you're more dangerous than handsome."

He shrugged. He could take either as a compliment.

Brittany laughed and nuzzled her head against my shoulder, "I love you more."

"Hmph. I'm starving."

"You just wanted me back here to feed you."

I closed my eyes and nodded, "Please."

Brittany sighed, the breath hitting my collar bone as she exhaled. It was soft and warm, feather light. I wanted nothing more in that moment than for normality. I wanted this to be a strange road trip to Columbus for the glee club's reunion. I would take the strangeness and blame it on Rachel or Schue. I tried to focus on the black of my eye lids, anything to keep away the nightmare for a moment. Brittany's breath was calming to an extent. Her fingers drew lazy circles up my arm and her eye lashes pressed and skipped across the skin of my neck.

"Did you eat already?" I asked her.

"No," she murmured back.

"I want kiwi."

Brittany sat up and rolled her eyes, "You always want kiwi!"

"It's good!"

* * *

><p>"Columbus," Puck said.<p>

"There's nothing up there," Brittany murmured as she glanced from the windshield to the map resting on her outstretched legs.

There was nothing up there. It was just an on ramp to some major highway and then more old back roads. I looked to Brittany's fingers tracing a red line on the map.

"That's the best way to get right into the city," Puck commented. He had been driving for most of the day. "We're barely an hour away. And the navigator says to go this way."

"I thought you shut it off?" I asked. The scratchy voice of the navigator hadn't sounded since Puck was driving yesterday.

He shrugged and tapped the small screen. "I just muted it."

"Why am I looking at the map, then?" Brittany questioned.

Puck smirked and shrugged again. "It gave you something to do. And it's fun to watch you get confused."

Brittany laughed and slapped Puck on the shoulder.

"Ouch!"

I laughed. It was nice to joke around about simple things for a change. I leaned forward and grabbed the map off Brittany's lap and tossed it onto the empty seat besides me.

There were cars strewn over the road. Puck was weaving through them going forty. It was a little slow, but I'd rather slow than a crash.

"Is it up here, Puck?" Brittany asked, pointing out the windshield.

He nodded, "Yup. Right up this way and then a right...at where ever."

We tried the radio out for the first time but all it picked up was static. It wasn't like we could have listened to any of the CD's we found either because it only took tapes. God, this suburban was so _old_.

Eventually, sky scrappers came into view. Puck took the turn off and started weaving through more cars that had been abandoned or destroyed. We were headed up towards what looked like toll booths.

"What is that?" Brittany asked, squinting.

Puck slowed down and peered over the steering wheel.

"It almost looks like...a fence?" he mumbled.

"A what?" I asked. "Why would there be a fence surrounding a city?"

I leaned forward onto the console to get a better look. It looked like a chain link fence had been hastily installed. It blocked off the road after the toll booths and then disappeared in either direction. Brittany pointed out the windshield and I followed her finger.

"Are those zombies?"

I tried to focus, because really? Fucking _really_?

There were at least sixty of them. They were all over the fencing, some smashing it, some leaning against it, other...biting it? What ever they were doing it, there was no sure way for us to get inside without bringing the zombies in with us.

"Shit! What are we gonna do?"

Puck slowed down to a stop.

"Grab the packs...and we'll figure something out."

"Grab the packs?" I grumbled, doing just as he asked. "Do you have any ideas at all, army boy?"

Brittany slumped back in her seat, "Could we drive through the fence?"

That was a good idea. Drive through it. But why was it blocked off in the first place?

"We could do that..." Puck muttered.

By then I had all the packs up front. They were big and bulky and took up way too much space.

"Can we think about this first?" I asked. I wanted to get into Columbus the right way. I didn't want to get in and bring more zombies with us. That would destroy the whole point of getting into the city.

"Think about what?" Brittany and Puck said at the same time.

"Like why is it fenced in? What if some one gets pissed off at us for breaking their fence and letting the zombies in?"

"That's stupid."

"But it could be true..."

I leaned forward and pointed to the right.

"What if we drove around it? We could see if there was a place with no fence or where there's less zombies."

Puck nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, okay. We'll drive around it. Then we can pick the best place to go through or hop it."

"Do you need someone else to drive, Puck?" Brittany asked.

He shook his head and started driving slowly toward the toll booths.

"Nah. I'm good."

I grabbed Brittany's hand and smiled at her. Our clasped fingers rested on the console. It was the most comforting thing I could do for myself at the moment.

"Wait...shit, shit." Puck swore, smashing a fist into the steering wheel.

"What?" Brittany and me both asked.

"We can't drive around it."

"Why the hell not?" I asked, confused.

"We're coming off a highway, Santana. There's no way to go around unless we drive through buildings."

"Well, shit."

Puck cocked his eyebrows then rolled his eyes.

"I think we should just drive through," Brittany voiced, squeezing my hand.

Puck sighed and scratched at his mohawk.

I figured there was never going to be a _safe_ way to get past the fence. It was an obstacle. Something we couldn't avoid. We might as well just get it over with and drive through it.

"Britt's right," I said.

"Mhm. Say we drive through it, what happens when the zombies follow us?"

My brows crinkled. "You said yourself a baby could out run a zombie."

"That was before there was a hundred of them just waiting to attack."

Brittany's eyes bugged out. "You really think there's one hundred of them?"

I shook my head, "No. No way. Maybe sixty, but no more than that."

Puck looked skeptical but kept quiet.

"If we drive through we have to be ready jump out and run if something happens."

My stomach knotted at his words. Lopez, you can do this.

"Right."

"I'll come back with you and put my pack on," Brittany said, glancing at me.

I smiled, "Sure."

She carefully climbed over the console, grabbing and pulling with delicate fingers. She ended up on my lap so she could pull her pack on. The packs were a little bit lighter now that we had eaten some of the cans of food and drank some of the water we brought with us.

"We're ready," I said once I got my pack on. I tightened the straps and buckled the waist strap. Brittany was going to grab Puck's pack and give it to him once we got out. I held the crowbar in my hands, twisting it, along with the skin of my palms. I was nervous.

"Britt, you should keep your gun in your belt or somewhere easy to reach. Just in case."

Puck looked nervous too. But after he ran his hands all over his face, the nerves disappeared. He shifted back into drive. We were moving towards the fence and toll booths and zombies. A few of the zombies turned to look at our truck, but they didn't make anything of it. There must be people in the city if so many zombies want to get in. There has to be.

"Ready or not," Puckerman spat.

He smashed his foot on the gas pedal. The truck groaned as it accelerated, the speedometer climbing: 60, 65, 75, 85...We gained on the fence and suddenly blood splattered, covering the windshield in its stickiness.

I wasn't alone when I screeched.

The next sound I heard was metallic, a pang of two hard surfaces meeting. The truck rumbled over the fallen fence, jerking and squeaking. I was already panting from anticipation. It was like I had tunnel vision. All I could see was the red color of the windshield. Until Brittany squeezed my knuckles obnoxiously tight, feeling like my bones were being crushed to dust against the crowbar. Puck looked tense. The moaning groaning was getting loud. It was followed by zombies clawing at the surrounding windows, their faces ugly.

I shut my eyes because I didn't want to see any of it. There was groaning, squeaking, rumbling, some sharp scraping sounds. The truck kept shaking, like it was shivering or something.

"Fucking damn it!" Puck shouted.

"What? What happened?" Brittany's voice sounded high.

I opened my eyes. No wonder the shaking stopped, that truck had stopped moving!

"Why did we stop?" I hissed.

"We're out of gas...?" Puck didn't sound sure of himself at all.

"But we just filled it," Brittany insisted.

Puck nodded and pulled at the hair on his head, "Those shitheads must have broke open the gas tank. Or ripped it off. It doesn't matter because we're fucking stuck here."

Zombies were circled all around the truck. Looking out my window, it looked like we were in a sea of zombies. I was surprised I wasn't shaking or throwing up. The zombies were mostly bloody and not one looked like it had all its body parts intact. They were banging against the windows and starting to rock the car.

"God, fuck," I grumbled, dropping the crowbar and taking off the pack.

"If we had a way out we could just run," Brittany whispered.

I looked at her and she looked more pale than usual. She might have even been more scared than me. I slid next to her and eased her pack off her back.

"Lopez, _what_ are you doing?" Puck asked.

"Shh!"

"We need to figure out a way to get out of this."

I ignored him and placed Brittany and Puck's packs behind me, scooting Brittany farther down to make room. Her eyes were sifting from me to Puck. I wanted her to ignore him to and ignore the zombies. I wanted to make her feel okay for a moment. If I could do that it would make _me_ feel better too.

"What about the sun roof?" Brittany whispered.

I had my hands on her biceps and was about to place a kiss to her cheek when she said it.

My eyebrows rose. The fucking sun roof you dumb ass, Lopez! I smirked and pressed my lips against her nose.

"Perfect," I breathed out and then pecked her lips. She smiled softly and blinked a few times.

"What's perfect?" Puck babbled from the front seats.

"The sun roof, you idiot!" I exclaimed.

His eyes lit up and he looked above his head as if it would have disappeared. Of course it was fucking there! This was a fucking miracle.

"Britt, you're a genius!" I grinned.

She blushed and laced her fingers through mine.

"Okay, okay...how are we going to do this?" Puck mumbled to himself as he shimmed in his seat. "We can't hop through with the packs on..."

I shook my head. It was a normal sized sun roof, but they weren't made for bodies to climb out.

"And no zombies have climbed onto the car yet..."

"What if they try to get up once we're out?" Brittany questioned.

"I got it. I'll go up first and if any of those fuckers try to get up I'll start shooting. I doubt that they'll be able to get up. They're fucking dumb. But then either you or Lopez can climb up and who ever's last will hand up the packs. Once we're all up then we can shoot and make a path and then run. Good?"

I glanced at Brittany. Past her head were zombies. I gulped. Zombies made her look like the weirdest thing. Not...like weird, but she just looked weird in comparison to them. She's this beautiful person and she's...alive. They're all dead and decaying and don't look like they have an ounce of innocence in their bodies. It's stupid and sounds wrong to compare them. But with it so up in my face, I couldn't help it.

"Santana?" she murmured.

I shook my head and nodded at her then Puck. Spacing out, nice, Lopez.

Puck was smirking but his eyes were serious, "Good?"

"Yeah. I'll go last."

Brittany squeezed my hand as the words left my mouth. It was fine. It would all be fine...because it had to be. I wouldn't let myself freak out. I wouldn't. I couldn't freak out. I couldn't become freak-the-fuck-out-Finn. That would kill me. And I couldn't do that to Brittany or Puck.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I got it, Puck."

Brittany surged forward and kissed the corner of my mouth. I smirked and laughed at her. She pouted, cute and sweet.

"S'okay," I breathed out before leaning in and kissing her.

Puck coughed behind us. I felt bad that he didn't have someone to kiss. What if we all died? Shut up, Lopez! Shut the fuck up!

"Okay," kiss "okay, let's do it."

Brittany smiled, "I'm ready."

"I know you two are ready," Puck said.

We arranged the packs so I could grab them easily. Once that was done Puck pulled out his gun and loaded a magazine into it. He told Brittany and me to do the same, but I refused. I would just use the crowbar. I wasn't going to shot anything. I couldn't make myself do that.

"Fine, Lopez. I'm going up." Puck smacked at the sun roof a few times before is slid back. The opening was small. Puck stood up, his feet on the center console, and placed his gun on the roof of the suburban. He hoisted himself through the sun roof and the zombies stopped rocking the truck. They started groaning louder and started trying to climb up the sides.

They couldn't, of course. But it was scary seeing them try so hard. Their bony fingers digging at the glass, the puss and blood painting pictures on it. I was glad I couldn't smell their dead, dying flesh. Yet.

"Brittany, come on," Puck called.

She looked at me.

"I love you," she promised, taking my hand and skirting her lips along my knuckles. I wished I could say something back, but my mouth wouldn't work. I nodded fiercely instead, smiling the best I could. Brittany seemed to accept it because she squirmed onto the console and then stood.

The warmth of her lips was ghosting up my entire arm. I shivered as she handed her gun to Puck and then he helped pull her up. The zombies continued to try and climb the car unsuccessfully.

"Santana, hand the back packs up!" Brittany yelled into the truck over the groaning. Her arms appeared a second later.

I shook myself, pushing out a few quick breaths. I needed to do something to motivate myself. Then I grabbed the first pack and handed it to Brittany. She held the shoulder straps and I pushed from the bottom until it disappeared. We got the other two up quick enough and then it was time for me to go through the sun roof.

I covered my eyes and took deep breaths. I just needed to stay calm and focus. That's all I needed to do. We could all get out of this. We could all be fine. We all _would_ be fine.

"Lopez, you coming?" Puck called, stomping the roof of the truck a few times.

"Yeah, yeah..."

I grabbed the crowbar and handed it to Brittany before I was pulled up by Puck. And, damn, was he a lot stronger than I remembered...like ever. He had hooked his hands under my arms and literally lifted me all the way out of the car. Like, that takes a lot of strength.

Once I was standing with my pack on and holding the crowbar I could look around. It wasn't as bad as it looked from inside the truck. There wasn't a sea of zombies around us. There wasn't a hundred of them either. Maybe fifty. It was still a lot in one small space. A lot to want to eat you.

"Ew. It smells so much worse with all of them," I grumbled, holding my nose.

Puck smirked, "It's nasty. But I don't care enough."

"Oh my god," I hissed, "How are you guys even _breathing_ right now?"

The smell was putrid. It felt like it was staining my lungs green. Brittany's nose was scrunched up and she looked disgusted but she wasn't doing anything to not smell it.

Bang!

"Shit!" I gasped.

Puck was holding his gun out toward the hood of the truck. A dead zombie was crumbling back into the crowd, slipping off the hood and leaving a trail of dark, dark blood.

"They're figuring out how to climb up," Puck mumbled. He turned and pointed out toward the city. "We're running up that way. We can run around the cars and it'll make it harder for the shitheads to follow."

"How are we gonna get there, though?" Brittany asked.

I twisted the crowbar in my palms, chewing on the inside of my cheek.

"There's not as many of them over there. We can shoot a few and then all jump down at once, make sure to land good. Once you hit the ground, _run_. Okay? Don't look at anyone. Don't help anyone unless they scream or something. Just _run_."

"Fine," I agreed, hastily. I didn't like it but there was nothing better and I was way passed ready to get away from these idiots.

We ran through the plan once more, deciding where Brittany and Puck should shoot. Then it started.

Six bangs when off within six seconds. Four zombies flew to the ground while two crashed into other zombies. I jumped down, smashing the crowbar down on the head of a zombie as I did. Blood was pumping in my ears as my heart thundered against my ribs. I held the crowbar in front of me but horizontally so I could shove zombies out of the way. I ran then, racing pulse pushing me through the crowd of undead.

I got out so fast I didn't know what the fuck to think. I ran a few yards away from the crowd before I looked around to see that Puck was behind me and Brittany was behind him. I kept running but slowed to watch Puck grab Brittany's hand, rip at her arm to run faster, and then turn to his other side to shoot more zombies.

I had to turn around because I couldn't watch anymore. I couldn't. The groaning kept getting louder too. Louder and louder and louder. Fucking shut _up_ for a second. God damn.

"Lopez!" Puck yelled. "Run into the break down lane!"

I did as he asked and slowed. I was panting, thick blood sticking to my jacket and pants, and flustered. Puck's face came into my line of vision. The bruise was completely gone from his cheek.

"Nice job," he said and winked.

"Whatever."

I straightened and saw Brittany. The groaning was getting louder again. The zombies were walking as fast as they could, some dragging various limbs, trying to get to us.

"Let's keep going," Brittany said.

Puck nodded.

"Yup. We could probably walk it out for now. If they get any closer we just need to run until we're ahead of them."

* * *

><p>We had been walking for about twenty minutes when we saw another fence, bigger this time, up in the distance. We were in the city by that time and surrounded by buildings, walking through all the abandoned cars. The mob of undead behind us had grown in size but didn't move any faster.<p>

I was holding Brittany's hand when it happened.

It looked like Columbus was just as deserted as Lima. There was no one in sight. I couldn't fucking hear anything except the moans of the zombies. Puck was getting jittery about not seeing anyone so far. Brittany was too. I couldn't react to it. I had no energy to react to it.

"What was that?" Puck asked, slowing his pace.

I looked around but didn't see anything. "What?"

"You didn't hear anything?"

"No..." Brittany said.

Puck looked around again but shrugged and started walking faster. The fence was concerning. It was getting closer and it was taller than the one before. It had barbed wire along the top too.

Then I heard a skittering noise. Like cans scrapping across rocks.

"Shit. Shit," Puck hissed.

"What?" I squeaked.

Puck grabbed my arm. It felt like he was ripping it out of the socket as he dragged me away, and thus Brittany.

"Run! Run up to the fence! Someone's throwing grenades!" he shouted.

My stomach plummeted. _Grenades_? Fuck. RUN, Lopez!

I grunted, swinging my arms and holding onto Brittany so tight.

But everything turned foggy the closer we got to the fence. I could see people behind it.

"Help!" I screamed.

"Help us!" Brittany yelled.

"We're not zombies!" Puck shouted.

They looked like army people. All dressed in camouflage. They had guns and helmets and sunglasses on too.

"Please let us in!" I begged, sounding pathetic to my own ears. But I didn't fucking care. I just wanted to get away from the grenades and the zombies. The zombies were catching up to us too.

"You threw a grenade at us!" Puck continued, banging on the chain link. "You're engaging with civilians! Stop and help us!"

One soldier came over and pulled his weapon out. A big gun. Shit, it was big.

"What the hell did you _do_?" he questioned. Obviously, he was talking about how the zombies.

"We broke the fence!" Brittany begged. "Please help!"

Pop—Boom!

The grenade went off and the moans turned strangled. I ducked, clutching the fence. Brittany slid down too. Above us, like right over our fucking heads that soldier started shooting at the zombies!

"Stop!" Puck growled. "How do we get in? Help us get in, man!"

"The only entrance is on the other side of the fencing," he replied stiffly.

Pop—Boom!

Another fucking grenade! Dust was getting kicked up and I started coughing. My body was shaking I was coughing so hard. I dropped the crowbar and started heaving into my elbow. Brittany rubbed my arm.

"Stop the grenades!" Brittany pleaded. She started rubbing my arm. She was being so selfless trying to comfort me.

The soldier grunted above me and stopped firing. "You're going to have to climb, there's no time and we can't let any more of the infected in."

"There's fucking _barbed wire_ up there, dude!" Puck seethed. "We'll be shredded."

I couldn't fucking catch my breath. I could feel the tears stinging the backs of my eyes. There was just so much damn dust.

"You don't have any other options right now, _dude_," the solider ordered. "Drop your bags and climb! We'll help you from the top."

He called for others to come help him and three more soldier jogged over.

"Two of you keep the undead stalled, one of you help me assist them over the top of the fence."

Two assembled a few feet away from us and started shooting, and _throwing more grenades_! I stopped coughing, trying to swallow them instead. It led to my throat twitching uncomfortably and more tears trying to push out my eyes.

"Take your pack off Santana!" Puck cried, pulling me up with Brittany's help. When did they take off their packs? Puck ripped the waist strap off and whipped the shoulders straps off, tossing the bag a few feet away.

"Brittany, go!" I hissed at her. She looked like she was going to protest but Puck pushed her toward the fence.

"We don't have time!" he yelled.

She latched on and climbed up. I followed behind her, coughing. Puck was behind me but quickly caught up, catching me when I almost fell. There was no adrenaline in my body. All my energy was being thrown into coughing. My throat felt like it was bleeding.

"Go over, Santana!" Puck growled, pushing me up and into the barbed wire.

I groaned but then the two soldiers caught my arms and helped me through the wire. It ripped my pants and jacket, along with my hands and neck. It stung like a bitch.

"Easy," one of the soldiers said. "Turn around and start climbing down."

I did as he said, but it was hard and I fell off the fence once I was four feet from the ground. The fence itself must have been twenty feet high. It was weird that they got such a big chain link fence. I landed on my feet, coughing again because god damn it all that fucking dust wasn't settling. I was about to fall to my knees so I could focus on hacking my lungs up when arms wrapped around me and broke my fall.

"San," Brittany whispered.

Her voice sounded thick, but I had closed my eyes. I couldn't tell if she was crying or not. It didn't really sound like she was. I was on my knees now, which was easier, but being coddled by Brittany didn't help my coughing. I pushed away from her arms and leaned on my hands, hacking. Brittany didn't seem to get it though, because she wrapped her arms around me again and pressed her face into my back.

I was on the ground shaking I was coughing so hard and she was riding out the coughs with me.

"Were either of you bit?" someone asked.

"No," Brittany said, muffled from her mouth pressed against me.

"Miss?"

"No, we weren't bit. We're not zombies. I think she needs some water though."

"Let's go to the infirmary, follow me."

"Britt, is she okay? Come on, Lopez, let's go get stitched up." Puck chuckled. It had to be his nerves or dying adrenaline because there was no other way he would be laughing.

* * *

><p>They questioned us about a million times. It fucking sucked. All I wanted to do was sleep. I was so physically exhausted and sore. I didn't feel all the cuts the wire gave me when I went through it. Actually, my hands, arms, and legs were really cut up. Sliced up. It was ridiculous. It all stung too. I had bandages wrapped all around them but everything was sore and weak.<p>

Brittany got cut up too. And Puck. But I got the worst because I had fallen at the top of the fence. I didn't feel that either. I just felt being pulled over the fence. But I guess I got dragged through the wire a little bit. It didn't matter. I was so fucking tired. The only good news out of all of this was that some how, and I have no fucking idea how Puck did it, but he got two of our giant hiking packs over the fence. And luckily, one of them had my extra layers so I could change out my bloodied and ripped clothes.

The system the soldiers were running was simple enough. Columbus had lots of hotels and the people in the safe zone, as they called it (it wasn't that fucking safe), were sorted into hotel rooms by families or alphabetically. There were only about a hundred and fifty people in the safe zone. So everyone got a hotel room. It was the rations that were weird.

There was enough food for everyone, easily, but not for a prolonged amount of time. They knew virtually nothing about the zombies or if it was a pandemic or anything. The only thing the soldiers knew was that zombies could be killed with a shot to the brain and couldn't scale a fence.

The medics wouldn't let us leave the infirmary though. Well, they wouldn't let _me_ leave.

"I grabbed all the clothes in those two packs, but I don't know what you want to wear," Puck said dropping a pile of clothes onto my legs.

I was lying down on a cot. I had 'lost an exception amount of blood' and they wanted me near by in case I passed out or anything. I just wanted to get into a fucking hotel room and kill myself. Not literally, (what are you, suicide watch?) but I was so done with this shit world. Why the hell did this happen?

I sifted through the clothes. I grabbed some sweats and a T shirt. "Thanks," I said.

Puck nodded, "Brittany should be back soon. I'm going to go figure out that hotel room shit. You good to chill, Lopez?"

"It's not like that medic would let me leave," I grumbled.

Puck's eyes widened as he chuckled. "Whatever. I'll be back," he mocked in a Schwarzenegger impression.

He walked out of the room and Brittany walked in.

"Hey!" she squeaked. "The doctor's not all over you anymore!"

She sped to my side and planted herself on the edge of the bed.

"Do you feel any better now?" she whispered.

Brittany's hands were bandaged. That's really all I saw. The stark white bandages wrapped tight around her palms. When I looked to her face all I saw were the light red scratches that were on her chin. Then her blue eyes made it seem like half her body hadn't been torn up. Which, compared to me, it hadn't. But still.

"I feel a little better," I shrugged. "I'm not openly bleeding now."

She smiled, her lips stretched thin. "I'm glad you're okay."

I nodded and patted the clothes on my lap.

"Will you help me get into these?"

Her blue eyes widened. God, they still brought me far away from this. So far I could drown and never come back from them.

"Yeah, yes. Of course, Santana."

"I just need help getting out of the clothes I'm in now."

"Yeah. Can you stand up?"

I stood a little shaky. I already took off those shitty boots. They had kept my feet from being shredded in the wire. That was the only plus. Brittany's fingers daintily undid the zipper and button of my pants and helped me slip out of them. I pulled on the sweats then.

"You're covered...in cuts," she commented.

I was struggling with my shirt when she said it. My forearms and neck-chest area got the worst of it. Brittany helped ease my arms out the sleeves and then handed me the new T shirt.

"I know."

I flopped back down on the cot, gasping when the motion stung.

"Shit..."

Brittany sat down and hesitantly placed her hands on my leg.

"...Are you okay?" she whispered. Her eyes were shining and I instantly felt my throat start to close with tears.

"No," I said honestly. No, I was the opposite of okay. I felt like I was slowly falling apart. Like I was crumbling. The gun shots that went off around us made me flinch. The soldiers were killing off the zombies we had let in. They were made we broke the outer fence, and now they needed to go out and fix it.

Brittany sighed, scooting up the cot so her hip was rested against mine. "It's okay to be scared, San."

"I feel like I'm breaking," I whispered. I couldn't lie. Not when I felt like my chest was imploding on itself. I was sore and tired and emotionally drained. Christ I felt like shit.

Brittany's brow furrowed. She inched closer still, worrying her lip.

"Are you?" she asked her voice soft and even. She sounded so worried.

I shrugged and covered my mouth with my bandaged fingers. I needed to breathe and it was like I forgot how to work my lungs. I didn't even know why I was getting upset now. I knew _why_ but the timing was off. I was upset because the stress of surviving a seemingly apocalyptic world was taking its toll. If anything I thought I would have broken down when I was coughing and bleeding after I got over the fence. That would have been the time.

But no, I was falling apart during the calm. We were safe yet the tears that pushed at my eyes and soaked my lungs were coming on what-so-ever.

"I can hold you together," Brittany murmured, turning so she was sitting by my side, one leg tucked underneath her. "Can I...? Or will it hurt..."

I shook my head and leaned against her, completely ignoring the fact that I was pressing into her with my full weight while she only occupied a sliver of the bed. Brittany's arms snaked around me. The warmth of her body was comforting. Her strong, able body took on a whole new meaning, far surpassing anything I had previously associated it with; which was mostly sex.

"You're my best friend," she mumbled. "I feel like I haven't told you in a while."

I sniffled, but no tears came, "That's okay."

Brittany's chin inclined as she began to sway.

"I don't like seeing you sad...you mean a lot to me. No matter what's happens you'll always mean a lot...you're such a good person, Santana."

Her words played with my heart. I didn't even know why I was so upset. There wasn't a specific event that triggered any of this. Maybe I just needed breather? I need some time to just be without threats to my life. The stress from these past days could kill alone. Maybe that was why the tears that still held my throat captive weren't overflowing out of my eyes.

I slipped my hand under Brittany's shirt to skate my fingertips up along the skin of her back. Feeling her shiver was oddly satisfying. The love that linked us was so...I couldn't think of a word for it. It was something that brought everything inside of me back to her. It didn't matter if she was a foot away or across the world, the feelings I felt for her had been there since I met her.

In high school this love we shared was so destructive. I was a danger to myself because I was so conflicted. Brittany was a danger to herself because she was so conflicted. We both wanted the same thing but we both kept ourselves from it for different reasons. I wanted her so bad in high school. I wanted all of her and for everyone to know she was off limits, yet at the same time I couldn't stand the idea of being with her publicly.

I was haunted with it both in school and at home. Then Brittany was so nice to everyone that she couldn't hurt Wheelz once I already hurt her. Even when I was ready...ready to be with her publicly. I hurt her. I hurt her in a way I didn't understand. A way that, until then, I didn't think was possible. It made her act so differently yet the same all at once.

The love wasn't different now. As adults those feelings were still so powerful. There was no transition in it from childish to mature. It was a solid thing that wouldn't change. It was who we were. So lying in her arms and having her admit thing I had heard before broke a dam in my heart and unlocked my mind, too.

The feelings we had could weather through any trial. The problem was if, as individual people, we could survive the same trial.

* * *

><p><strong>So long time no see. Sorry I had a lot of personal things going on for a long time. Some are still on going. I don't know when I'll be able to update again so I'm sorry for that. Just know that there are only a few chapter left...maybe three or so. They'll all be longer chapters, too. Check my tumblr for clues on when the next update will be. (just add .com on the end)<strong>

**So thanks for everyone sticking with me and I hope you enjoy this chapter, feel free to tell me your thoughts. :)**


	16. Ch 11 Too Familiar

**Chapter 11: Too Familiar**

"Santana?" Brittany whispered. I was crying again. I thought she was asleep, I thought I was keeping quiet.

"Shh," I whispered.

I didn't want her to worry. And I didn't want Puck to wake up. We were in a hotel room, up on the fifth floor. The room had two full beds, Brittany agreeing to sleep with me once we saw. Like I would sleep with Puck.

But she didn't roll over and go back to sleep. "What's wrong?"

Nothing was wrong. I was just having mini panic attacks every time I was close to drifting off. So I shook my head and wiped at my eyes. I didn't want her to lose sleep over me.

Brittany moved again. She was looking over my shoulder with one arm resting above my head. She had been trying not to touch me too much. I felt bad. Almost every time she did touch me, too fast or with too much pressure, I would wince. It wasn't her fault. All the cuts were still sensitive.

"Please go to sleep," I murmured, hoping my voice didn't give me away.

She didn't say anything and she didn't move. Maybe she shook her head? It was so dark that I could only see the outline of her head above me.

"Will you go to sleep?"

I rolled my eyes making more tears fall. I shifted and felt Brittany scoot away to give me more room.

"Will you?" she pressed, her tone gentle.

I shrugged. I was half hoping that she would think I'd already fallen asleep.

"Don't stop talking to me..." she sighed. "That's why sea sponges don't make any noise...they all stopped talking to each other...and their voice boxes disappeared."

I couldn't stop my lips pulling up in a smile. "I won't lose my voice box," I croaked.

"Good." I could hear the smile in her voice. "Do you wanna talk?"

"About what?" I took the bait. Half of me wanted to be forced into her mind again, then half of me wanted to close up and pretend to sleep. The latter required too much energy though. I would have had to hold in my cries and I didn't have the strength.

"We get rations tomorrow," she cooed.

I forgot about that. The army or the Red Cross or whatever organization that was here was providing families (or rooms as they referred to us, "We're roomies, Santana!") with food on different days of the week. I wasn't sure what it consisted of but it was bound to be nothing like dried kiwi.

"Yum," I whispered.

* * *

><p>I woke up to Brittany sneezing. Sneezing into my neck, actually. I couldn't think about how gross it was because before anything even registered I jerked away from her, hanging halfway off the bed.<p>

"Jumpy, much?" Puck laughed from the other bed. I turned to see him sitting up, picking at his nails with his damn knife. _That_ was gross.

"Sorry," Brittany whispered, reaching out to pull me back to the middle of the bed. I held in a wince when she squeezed one of the many cuts that littered my arms.

"It's not your fault," I grunted.

Her face fell a little but brightened when I threaded my fingers with hers. I couldn't stand myself sometimes...more so I couldn't stand when I made Brittany pout. It pulled so deep inside me sometimes. The flat out frowns hurt more than the pouts.

"What time is it?" I wondered aloud, focusing on the little red spots that popped out against the white of the bandage wrapped around her hand.

"Time to get food!" Puck groaned out.

My stomach gurgled at the mention of food. Brittany glanced down and giggled. It was light and made me smile.

"But seriously, what time is it?"

Puck swung his legs over the side of the bed and stuck his big feet into his big boots. He dropped his knife on the nightstand with a clatter. He had slept in his cargo pants...how the hell was that even comfortable? Brittany and me had changed into sweats the second we could.

"I think it's eight," Puck said.

Brittany squeezed my fingers softly, careful of the cuts.

"When can we go get the food?" Brittany asked.

"I think whenever," he said, rubbing his arms and stretching. "We should go and get it before there's a line. And I want to go talk to some of those guys, see if there's a watch or any way I can help."

I rolled my eyes. I was facing away from Puck so he couldn't see me, but I never wanted to willingly fight against the zombies. Yeah, okay, it felt good to shoot a few of them, and if I ever _needed_ to I would, but I don't want to willingly put myself in danger.

"Then let's go soon," I mumbled as Brittany sat up.

"Do we still have toothpaste?" Brittany asked. "I want to brush my teeth and stuff first."

Puck nodded and pointed to the bathroom. I will _never_ take one of those for granted again.

We all got ready and then headed out of the hotel. There were only two keys to our room so Puck took one and so did Brittany. It wasn't like I would wander off without one of them. And I didn't care about not having a key because I wasn't letting myself get more than ten feet from Brittany. Even that was a little too far.

As we walked out of the hotel we were met with groups of people just wandering. I mean, it was eight in the morning, what could they be doing? Unless they were getting rations there wasn't much to do. We weren't really allowed inside the other buildings except for a few. I didn't know which ones and I didn't care. The hotel was fine with me.

"They should be handing out maps," Brittany pouted as we searched for the ration stand.

"Mm, yeah," I mumbled.

Puck was leading the way. The soldiers we had asked on our way kept pointing us in circles. They were giving the rations out from the back of some restaurant or something. After what seemed like hours, we found the ration stand. They handed Puck a big cardboard box that was sealed shut and then gave me and Brittany each two gallons of water.

"Hey, is there like an information center or something?" Puck asked one of the skinner soldiers.

"No. If you want to talk to someone high up, try checking at the infirmary," he grunted in a, surprisingly, deep voice.

"Okay, thanks, man."

We walked off, back in the direction of the hotel.

"When are you going to talk to someone?" I asked.

Puck shrugged. "Today."

We continued our walk toward the hotel. The air was cold and the sky gray. Brittany bumped my arm and smiled at me.

"Do you want me to take one?" she asked.

I guessed she was talking about the two bottles of water I was carrying. She had two, too though. She couldn't carry a third.

"No, I'm good. Besides, where would you put it?"

Brittany's gaze lowered to the ground and her cheeks tinged pink. "I don't know...I could hold the top with my teeth?"

"I don't think your teeth are strong enough to hold up a gallon of water, B." I chuckled.

When we got back to the hotel we rode the elevator up to the fifth floor. I _was not_ going to walk up five flights of stairs. The army, or whatever, had turned on a bunch of emergency generators. The hotel had a lot of them in the basement and they must have been massive to power the whole hotel.

Puck dropped the box the second he stepped into our room. He cut through the tape with his knife and we ate some of the dried, packaged food. It tasted like dust and didn't have any name on the packaging besides expiration dates and portion sizes.

"I'm heading out to go find those dudes," Puck said as he tied up his boots.

"Don't leave or anything," Brittany warned in a playful voice.

Puck grinned and scrunched his face together. "Wouldn't _dream_ of ditching you two."

I cocked an eyebrow at him as he slipped through the door.

"What should we do?" Brittany asked, sucking on a cup of water.

I shrugged and flexed my hands. They were still sore and achy. The doctor or whatever wanted me to see him again today to change the bandages. I was pretty sure the bleeding had stopped but most of the white had turned red or pinkish.

"I promised that doctor I would see him today. He wants to change my bandages."

Brittany nodded. "Okay. Do you want to go now? We could get it over with and then do something else."

"Why not?"

* * *

><p>"Did they drag you through that wire?" The medic asked. That's what they're called by the way, medics, not doctors.<p>

I winced as he rolled the last of the bandage around my hand. "Something like that."

"She may or may not have fallen into it, too," Brittany whispered from my side.

I rolled my eyes as the medic chuckled. He was older, maybe in his mid to late thirties.

"These babies are gonna be sore for a while," he said as he dropped my hand. "I can give you a little bit of pain medication. A couple pills. We don't have a lot of supplies, medical wise, but I can slip you this for now."

He rummaged around in some boxes until he pulled out a few small, white packages. He tossed them to me and I couldn't catch them so they dropped to the floor. Brittany bent down in an instant to grab them, fiddling with them in her hands.

"Sorry," the medic chuckled. I decided I didn't like him and his nervous laughter. "Take two a day with food. But no more. See me again if you need more bandages, but I think they've stopped bleeding for good."

"Right," I mumbled. He was chuckling again while he motioned to the entrance of the tent.

"See you later," he said as we left.

"Can we walk around a little?" Brittany whispered from where she was huddled up against my side.

"Sure."

We walked for awhile. There wasn't much to see and what we did see was depressing. There were families here who looked more beat up than we did. Little kids with their faces covered in scratches. I gulped each time I saw one. Brittany must have heard because she squeezed my arm after I did it.

"Are you ready to go back?"

Brittany nodded.

So we walked back to the hotel and took the elevator up. Puck was still off doing something. Either goofing off with the soldiers or being serious and helping them set things up. More zombies had come last night and groaned and banged at the fence. I knew because there were more bodies on the outside of that chain-link fence.

The elevator dinged at the third floor and the doors opened.

"Are you going down?" someone asked.

Brittany gasped besides me.

That was weird, so I looked up.

"_Quinn_?"

She looked older but her face was still soft. Minus the few scratches that were on her cheeks and chin.

"Brittany? Santana?"

Her hazel eyes got shiny and she stumbled into the elevator.

"What—how?" She couldn't form a sentence. Brittany couldn't form words.

To see someone so familiar in a place so foreign and alien was dizzying. I stood straighter and tried not to let my throat close.

The dingy metal doors closed behind her at the same time Brittany stepped forward to hug her. It was tight, with no space between their bodies, and their blonde hair was overlapping, making it hard to tell them apart except for their clothing.

Quinn's hair was still a sandy blonde, just like high school. Her hair was even long again, just like high school. It gave me de ja vu and I almost wanted to yell at her for not having it in a pony tail. _Almost_.

The sniffling started. I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from doing it myself. I didn't want to cry.

"What are you guys doing here?" Quinn blubbered.

They pulled out of their embrace and Brittany traced her pointer finger down a thin cut on Quinn's chin.

"Zombie apocalypse," I said, too nonchalantly, "the usual. Just trying to stay alive. You?"

Quinn laughed at me as she caught Brittany's hand, squeezing it. I wished she hadn't.

"I should have known you two would get back together somehow. Always the two shot."

That made me wince. I had to bite my tongue to keep from hissing something awful at her.

"Well. Yeah. It's...Why weren't you at the reunion?" Brittany stuttered. She must have been overwhelmed with feelings because she never stuttered.

Quinn wiped at her eyes with the heel of one hand. "I got caught up with school. I decided to fly out a couple days later to see anyone who stuck around. But then this happened."

I nodded.

The elevator rumbled as it started its ascent again.

"Is everyone here?" Quinn asked. The shine in her eyes killed me.

_No. No one was here. Just us and Puck. We abandoned everyone back in Lima. I'm sure they're either dead or struggling to stay alive. _Damn.

Brittany shook her head after a moment. "Puck is."

Quinn's pretty eyebrows furrowed. "Where are they?"

Brittany looked to the ground. I felt the nerves pouring off her. She was so tense and I still hadn't said a word.

"What does that mean...?" Quinn pressed.

"We left them."

Quinn's eyes pierced through me as the words left my mouth. She took a step forward and I raised my hands up, palms out.

To stop her. I don't know why I did that, I just did.

"Why?" her voice wavered the tiniest bit.

"Because I'm selfish."

Again, she took a step toward me. I took a step back to counter, my back pressed up against the wall.

"No you're not," Brittany whispered from beside me.

I shook my head, my hands starting to shake. Quinn grabbed them and squeezed. It was hard though, tough and too tight; not meant to be comforting.

"Ow..."

Quinn dropped her head to look at my hands, the pressure she was exerting stopped and with it the sting. Her expression turned hard as she gripped my wrists, even tighter, and looked back up at me.

"What happened?"

She said it so quiet and desperately.

"Can we talk in our room?" Brittany suggested just as the elevator signaled it had reached the fifth floor.

Quinn didn't acknowledge Brittany, but allowed her to lead her to our room. I followed, slumped over, at a slower pace. I was the reason the glee club could be either dead or dying. Shit. God, shit. But if I stayed, if Brittany and Puck had stayed, would it even make a difference? We would be taking up more food, but we could have helped them find a way out. None of them wanted to leave, though.

I'm going to fucking fall apart if I have to tell Quinn.

Shit, Lopez.

I could feel the shaky breaths coming.

I was shocked out of my thoughts when Brittany yanked me into the room.

"Shit, B."

Brittany frowned and locked the door behind me. "Can I talk to you?"

"What—yeah."

Quinn was sitting at the end of one of the beds. Brittany took me by the wrist and turned to look at Quinn.

"We'll be right back," she said and then brought me into the bathroom.

She locked the door there too. I was still a little shaky, but I was getting myself under control.

"What do you want to talk about?" I asked, leaning against the sink counter.

Brittany took hesitant steps over to me until she was right in front of me. She glanced up, meeting my stare, before she looked down to my body. Her fingers were pulling the zipper of my coat down. The sound of the teeth coming apart was the only thing I could hear. When Brittany got the zipper all the way down she slipped her arms into my coat and pulled me against her.

"What?" I whispered.

"Shh."

I could feel her breath against my neck. After a few minutes she eased my coat off and snaked her hands under my layers, running her cool fingers up and down my back.

"I could see you breaking a little," she murmured.

"Oh," I gasped.

"It's okay. I thought you'd want a minute to calm down, that's all."

Somehow I let myself sink into her. It was easier and she knew me too well, anyways.

* * *

><p>"So where's Puck?" Quinn asked, wiping the underside of her eyes with a tissue.<p>

We had just told her everything. She didn't take it as bad as I thought she would. I was expecting some yelling or scoffing or scolding. But that never came. She started crying a little bit, but now she's over it.

"He wanted to help," Brittany said. She was drinking water.

"Yeah. He went out to talk with who ever was in charge or something."

Quinn nodded and tossed the crumpled tissue into the trash bin. It was getting dark out. Unless Puck found something that took a ridiculous amount of time to do, I thought he would be back soon.

"Was anything happening in New York?" I asked, to pass the time and figure out what the hell was going on.

Quinn took a deep breath then turned towards me.

"Not like this. There was something going on, but not like this."

"How did you fly out if something was happening?" Brittany asked. I don't know why people ever thought she was dumb.

"Because they thought it was just a virus. No one thought anything of it. I was told to wash my hands and not to shake hands or touch anyone excessively. Then when the plane landed here there were soldiers everywhere. All the flights got put into different places. Mine ended up here.

"They didn't tell us anything until people started disappearing. They said that we shouldn't try to leave; that it was safer here. But then they put up fences and barbed wire, because they didn't want anyone getting out. But I could hear people groaning at night, and I could hear the gun fire. I just didn't get it until later. Now you're here."

I nodded.

There wasn't much to say. We all knew about the same amount. The government was making this seem like a virus. Or so it seemed.

_Bang!_

"Mother fucker!"

Puck stumbled through the door. My heart was in my mouth, literally jamming into the back of it. I was panting. God fucking damn, why the hell would anyone just whip open doors like that?

"Sorry," Puck laughed.

Brittany sputtered into her water. I couldn't tell if she was laughing or surprised as I situated myself back on the bed. My muscles were rigid from hopping up, ready to run or attack whatever caught me by surprise.

"H-Hi, Puck," Quinn said. She didn't sound nervous, more surprised that he was actually there. In all his _annoying_ glory.

Puck blinked a few times, his arms going limp, before he answered.

"What are you doing here? How'd you get here?"

Quinn stood and hugged him around the neck. Puck looked startled and it took him a minute before he hugged her back.

Brittany cooed behind me. It was kind of nice, but I wasn't going to verbalize it.

Puck's eyes closed as he tightened his grip, lifting Quinn off the ground as he tucked his chin to her neck.

When they kept on hugging after a few minutes I started to get uncomfortable. Sure, I'm all for the happy reunion, but I felt like I was interrupting something. Like I was seeing something that was private. So, when I heard soft hiccuping sounds coming from one of them I cleared my throat, _loudly_.

Puck placed Quinn back on the floor and she wiped her eyes discreetly. They were both smiling like idiots. And god, okay it was kind of cute.

"Surprise!" Brittany cooed. She took another sip of water.

"Maybe you two should catch up?" I suggested.

I wanted them to be comfortable but not in this hotel room. They could go to the one Quinn was staying in or just go for a walk.

"Right. Yeah, let's go," Puck stuttered out.

Quinn just nodded, taking Puck's hand. And then they left out the door.

* * *

><p>Puck and Quinn had left about half an hour ago. Brittany went to the bathroom shortly after to take a bath. It was such a privilege, to bathe. I was never going to take it for granted again. Feeling clean was something that not only made you feel good, but it made you feel safe.<p>

I had sucked down two cups of water in ten minutes. I was bored, but didn't really want to wander into the bath room yet. Brittany deserved time to wash herself first.

And maybe I was a _little_ bit nervous about seeing her naked. All of her naked.

But I couldn't stand it for any longer than I already had. I didn't want to sit with myself in silence. Not only was it boring but it got me it thinking more than I needed to about things I didn't need to worry about at that moment. So after five minutes of starring at the ceiling I wandered into the bathroom.

* * *

><p>"How are you?" I asked.<p>

Brittany was sitting, naked, in the tub. The water was up around her shoulders. I could see everything for the first time in years, unobstructed.

"Okay," she said softly.

I nodded and sat on the lip of the tub, letting my hand dip into the water. It was hot but felt good considering how cold it was outside now. The heat in this stupid hotel couldn't reach up to sixty five degrees.

"I wish this would be over soon," I mumbled, watching as the water rippled, as if touched by wind, around Brittany's body.

"It will be."

A smile tugged at my lips. No matter what she was always positive.

"How do you know?"

Brittany slid up next to me, gripping my wrist in her hands. Her breath was light but hot against my face and reminded me of years ago when we used to just breathe together. Our heads so close, even closer than now, feeding each other oxygen.

"Because we're alone. And because if things weren't getting better the army would be doing more. It's getting better."

I smirked. Maybe she was right, but deep down in my gut I had to be skeptical. I didn't want a nervous breakdown because nothing was getting better and I'd gotten my hopes up.

Brittany tugged on my wrist, submerging my hand underwater.

"Can you come in? I feel like a sad panda..."

My lips pursed. "Can I stay right here?"

"No," she shook her head. "I want you in here."

I sighed. Brittany kissed my cheek. Her lips were wet and warm and left my skin tingling.

"Fine."

"Yay!"

As I stood up though, Brittany tugged me down into the tub.

"Britt!"

Water splashed everywhere. It soaked through my shirt and sweats instantly, making me a soggy mess. I was surprised I didn't smash my head on the wall, she pulled me in so hard and fast.

"Sorry," she whispered as she pulled me against her front. I could feel her nipples through my shirt.

"No you're not," I huffed. The water was warm and calming though. I couldn't stay mad at her forever.

"I'm not," she said and kissed below my ear. "But this is nice. I like sitting with you." Another kiss.

My chest expanded, sucking in air as she littered the side of my neck with kisses. Hold yourself together, Lopez. I squeezed Brittany's wrists, hoping to distract her.

"What do you think Puck and Quinn are doing?"

I wanted to distract her. No matter how much she turned me on, which was a fucking lot, I didn't feel ready to have sex. Not that second.

"Probably talking" -kiss- "or eating." She ran her fingers down my stomach, making my nerves jump around like crazy. "Maybe they're worrying about Beth."

Brittany pulled back from my neck and replaced her hands on top of mine.

Way to totally _kill_ the mood, Lopez!

I wanted her, I really, really did. I just felt like that's all I wanted. Like, that I would be selfish about it. I either wanted to give or take. Either way I didn't want her to react after I was done. I was such an idiot, a self-centered bitch.

"Sorry..."

Brittany pulled me tighter against her. "It's not your fault."

"Yes it is," I sighed.

"No. Santana, it's fine."

I shook my head. I was so nervous about being selfish. I pulled against her, trying to break her hold.

"I'm not fine. I...I need to change."

"Can't we sit? Please? Just, forget it."

I frowned and stood, shakily, before stepping out of the tub. I pulled my shirt off and slipped out of my pants. I grabbed a towel and tried to ignore Brittany as I patted dry. I wrapped the towel around me and walked out of the bathroom. The towels were starchy like they'd been washed too many times. It pulled against my skin.

I grabbed more sweats and another tee shirt. I pulled my hair up and dropped down onto our bed. I sighed.

How could I have sex with Brittany if she wanted me so bad? God, and how fucked up does that sound? I _can_ have sex with her but my emotions are going to run wild and my mind is going to explode. I feel like I have to talk it out first. I feel like we both want to have sex to pass the time, not because we love each other.

Not that we _don't_ love each other, because we totally _do_. It's just. We're in such a weird situation. No one has sex in zombie movies. Well, not once the zombies start showing up. Why should we? Because we're safe? But everything is so fucking high strung.

I covered my eyes and groaned. This fucking sucked. My heart was about to pound a crack into my ribs and on top of that I couldn't get a deep enough breath.

"Santana."

Shit.

"Britt_any_."

I smirked, no matter how humorless this was.

Wet hands shifted under my shirt and raked up and down my sides. My skin broke out in goose bumps from the heat that her fingers left behind. It was still strange how hot she could make me feel but at the same time give me shivers.

"Why'd you leave?" she whispered.

Her knees came up to lock around my hips. She was practically sitting on my thighs.

I shrugged. Fuck, I'm so stuck.

Brittany leaned forward, so her towel clad body was inches away from mine. Her breath tickled my neck as her nose nuzzled my hair.

"Hmm, Honey?"

"I feel weird."

She kissed down my neck, her hands coming up to pry my arms from my face.

"About what?"

Her lips were so warm from the bath water. Her hair was warm too and wet. It made water drop down my face and onto my chest.

"This. Sex."

Brittany pulled back, moved her hands to cup my cheeks, and squeezed me with her knees. A shot of heat flew to the pit of my stomach. She was teasing and she could barely register it.

"Why?" she asked. "Sex is okay. It's not like we're virgins or anything. And virginity is weird anyways. Plus, we've had sex hundreds of times."

"Probably thousands," I smirked, quickly.

"Thousands," she agreed. "Sweetie. Why would this time be any different?"

My hands moved to touch her knee caps.

"We haven't had sex since we broke up.

"We had sex before. A few days after we left Lima."

Brittany kissed my lips and pulled away, rolling off me to lie on her side. I shifted, so her leg didn't drape over me, and leaned up on my elbow.

"We never finished that," I mumbled. That was a bad memory in itself.

"Sure. But I love you. I love you and you have sex when you love someone and they love you back."

Brittany's hair was flipped over her shoulder, sending water dripping down her collar bone, slipping around her neck, running along her far shoulder. Her eyes looked stark blue against the white sheets of the bed. I wanted to kiss the water away, slurp it up into my mouth.

"I know. And I love you, too." I took a shaky breath. Brittany's hand laced our fingers together. "But I feel like I'm going to be selfish about it."

"About sex?" she asked. Her tone sounded surprised but like she was trying to stay neutral.

"Yes."

"You're _never_ selfish during sex, Santana. You never have been. You're a very good sharer." Brittany practically purred the last part.

"Okay. But I feel like I'm in a weird place. I want to have sex with you. I guess I'm... scared."

Brittany pouted and kissed me, feather light. She squeezed my fingers and then broke the hand hold, tracing my side instead.

"San," she whispered. It felt like a punch to my heart. "That's _so_ okay. Remember the first time we had sex? Well, after we were officially together? You got scared then, too. And that was one of the best times we've had sex. Why don't we just start and see what happens. We don't have forever, anyways."

I snorted out a laugh. It sounded less nervous than I felt. But I nodded anyway because I did want to have sex. I wanted to feel that good and I wanted Brittany to feel that good.

"Okay? Yes?"

"Yes," I nodded.

"Hmm...good..."

Brittany swung her leg over my hips and pulled me to her lips.

* * *

><p><strong>Ugh, guys, I am SO SORRY! that this took so long. Seriously, I tried really hard to write a little bit everyday, but it was just hard with everything I had going on. Rest assured though, I have the last two chapters planned out. Hopefully I get them to you before the end of august. Ah I said august! I know that might seem like a really long time to wait, but it's the best I can promise. <strong>

**And yes, this is coming to a close. Two chapters left. Just two! I also doubt there will be a sequel, however I do have another thing I was working on that's Brittana. It's a lot different than this. So, look out for that after this. Again, sorry and I hope you review and tell me what you think. **

**Thanks for everyone who's sticking with me and faving/reviewing/alerting/READING! It's great! **

**xxRose**


	17. Ch 12 Memories

**Chapter 12: Memories**

_ "You _knocked_ her _up_?" I screech. _

_ Puck backs away, his frown deepening. "Yeah..."_

_ My blood is boiling, thundering through my veins. Does he know? How can he know? No one knows!_

_ "Why? Why would you do that? That _slut_. Her and her fucking celibacy club!"_

_ Puck holds his hands out, palms up. But I don't fucking care. I'm so much hotter than her and I have fucking _experience_. Christ. _

_ "Santana, don't like cut my balls off yet. _You_ broke up with _me_, dude."_

_ "_What_?"_

_ That was a fucking lie. We've had sex since that. _

_ "You said my credit score was bad so you ended it. Don't your remember?_

_ "That didn't mean you could go sex it up with Q!"_

_ Puck grunts. But why the hell would he ever do _that_? All I've done with Brittany is fool around. God damn it, he must know._

_ "Well I did. Quit bitching about it. I want to be a good dad. She's my baby momma." _

_ Puck's face is getting red. I can't believe no one has stopped to see why we're yelling. Here's a hint, he fucking cheated on me!_

_ "We just, like, fuck buddies, Santana!" he yells. _

_ "Shut up!"_

_ "It's true! You go to whoever will give you some."_

_ "So do _you_! When did you even do it?"_

_ Puck grips at the strip of hair on his head. "A few days ago, I don't know."_

_ "Where the hell was I?"_

_ "With Matt or something. I don't fucking know!"_

_ I wasn't with Matt Rutherford...I was with Brittany a couple days ago. That was it. Maybe he doesn't know then. _

_ "Why are you even freaking out about it?"_

_ "Because you got her fucking pregnant!"_

_ "Is that all? You're being annoying. Stop it."_

_ "Whatever. Q's right. You're gonna end up a deadbeat, Lima Loser, anyways. So, screw you, Puck!"_

_ Tears are pushing at my eyes, but I'm not going to cry about this in front of him. He's not fucking worth it. I want...to go home._

* * *

><p><em>"I'm sorry Santana," she murmurs. <em>

_ Her fingers stroke and slip at my calf. I don't want to look at her. I don't want to listen to her. My face is crushed to a pillow. I can't look, I can't listen. But it's all I want to do at the same time. _

_ A damned sob breaks out of my mouth. _

_ "I'm really sorry..."_

_ I shake my head. No, no, no. It's her _fault_. It's fucking Puck's fault. It's my fault. _

_ "Do you wanna talk about it? Sweetie?"_

_ Shit. _

_ Everything, all the pain and depression, flies to my stomach and spine as I shoot up. _

_ "Don't," I hiss and she recoils back, pushed up against the foot of my bed. "Don't say that. Don't _fucking_ call me that."_

_ Her eyes grow wide, the blue making me shiver. Brittany, _why_?_

_ "I'm sor-"_

_ "And stop that. Stop saying _that_, too."_

_ I wipe at my eyes. The stupid tears won't stop._

_ "Can I say something else...?"_

_ I shake my head, wrap my arms around my knees. My parents aren't home. Even if they were it wouldn't matter._

_ "I really wish Puck didn't do that to you," she whispers. And it hurts because I feel like if she talks too loud I'll yell again. If she says the wrong thing I'll yell again. If she does anything remotely wrong or bad or unrelated, I'll yell. And I don't want to. _

_ "But...Santana, I-"_

_ "Please don't," I cut her off. So damn quietly. "I don't want to talk about anything anymore." _

_ She nods. She just _nods_ and it makes my stomach jump. I start crying harder, all over again. She climbs back up towards me. Light fingers trace down my arm because that's the most I'll let her touch right now. And it almost hurts more than anything else._

* * *

><p><em>To: Puck<em>

_ 'what are you doing with her ?'_

_ Message sent._

_ I frown. Puck wouldn't stop texting me. I was with Matt and Brittany and Mike. We were going bowling, or something. Not sexy._

_ From: Puck_

_ 'babysitin or sumthing. Care 2 entertain?'_

_ Ew. He's so sick. That's disgusting. But it's not like Matt's going to give me any tonight. And it's not like Boy Chang would ever do the dirty. Not like I'll let him either. And I haven't let Brittany do anything in a while. Every time she tries to touch me or cuddle me or even whisper cute thing it makes me feel sick. _

_ From: Puck_

_ 'yes or no? Im getin tied 2 a chair here'_

_ The fuck? _

_ To: Puck_

_ 'Entertain, hm? Well, it is kind of cold out. My boobs are kind of sensitive...'_

_ Message sent._

_ Brittany looks over at me, smiling. I must not look happy or something because she pouts for a minute before she turns, looking kind of stiff. That makes my stomach hurt, too._

* * *

><p><em>Matt runs his hand over my back. He's pretty quiet. He's always quiet, like no matter what. <em>

_ "That was nice," I whisper. "But, you know I don't do post-sex-cuddles."_

_ I stand and start to pull on my clothes. Brittany's coming over. Whatever was making me feel so awful around here stopped once I started hooking up with Matt. I can touch her again and talk and look at her with out feeling weird about it or like...ashamed. _

_ "Thanks..." he says. It's soft, kind of like him. He's a soft sort of guy. It's nice to have my way with him during sex. It makes it more fun._

_ "Yeah. Love you," I smirk. It's like the universal 'I'm leaving now' sign._

* * *

><p><em>When I get home I shower. It's fast and cold. Brittany gets to my house ten minutes later, her mom or dad dropping her off.<em>

_ "Hey," I say. _

_ She looks pretty cheery. We huddle on the couch, popping in Sweet Valley High. _

_ "Can you believe Q didn't know what sexts were?" I ask, before I take a sip from my water bottle._

_ "No. Sexy-texts are so sexy. Why we're you talking about them?"_

_ I cuddle into Brittany, my head on her shoulder. _

_ "She was babysitting with Puckerman a while ago. And we were sexting, cause my sexts are too sexy to delete. She didn't even know."_

_ Brittany flinches. _

_ "You okay, Britt?" I ask, sitting up. _

_ She nods and gulps down her water bottle, draining it._

_ "You sure?"_

_ She nods again and leans into me. We don't talk for the rest of the three episodes. And when we do Brittany leaves. She usually stays the night. And I was so ready to sleep next to her again. I even went to Matt to make sure of it. It kind of hurt, but it made me more mad than anything._

* * *

><p><em>"Are you really going to do that?" <em>

_ "What are you talking about?" Puck asks. He wipes his face, shakes out his arms, and stretches his back. _

_ "Be with Quinn?" I almost spit it out._

_ Puck just beat the shit out of Finnocence. Who's so innocent, actually idiotic, that he thought Quinn got knocked up from him all because he couldn't hold it together in a hot tub. _

_ Puck shrugs and starts to get up to walk away._

_ "No, wait. Are you? I want an answer."_

_ "I gave my answer in there."_

_ I grab his arm, pulling him to a stop._

_ "You did not," I shake my head. "You admitted it was _your_ baby. You never said for sure you're sticking with Quinn."_

_ He wiggles his arm free, sighing. I want him. I want him back. But this hurts too, a little bit. Kind of in the same way too; right in my stomach. Pulling and clawing and throbbing._

_ "I want to..."_

_ I want a lot of things. We both know he's gonna mess up somehow and come back to me. I hope. Is it bad that I want that? I want other things too, but this is what's best. I think he knows that too. _

_ He shrugs again and slumps over. _

_ "I can't be this anymore..."_

* * *

><p><em>"He's going to be with <em>her_!" I groan. _

_ I'm fucking done with crying about it. He doesn't know shit because he's too stupid to know. _

_ "He's dumb, San," Brittany says. _

_ I haven't seen Matt in more than a week. Puck looks better on your arm because he actually talks. _

_ I shake my head. "Yeah, B. He is."_

_ She smiles and plops down on my bed. I think she brought over The Aristocats. I don't mind watching silly kid movies with her. It's more fun than watching porn, waiting for some guy to get hard. _

_ "I missed this," she mumbles, burrowing into my pillows. _

_ I laugh, putting the disc into the DVD player. _

_ The movie starts as I climb onto my bed, covered in a black bedspread. I cuddle into Brittany, who's dressed in comfy sweats. She giggles, wraps herself around me. _

_ It takes ten minutes, from that point. _

_ Ten minutes to forget the movie completely and get lost in sucking Brittany's neck. Five minutes to straddle her, still sucking the soft skin of her neck. Less than three to get naked. And an hour later I feel every muscle in my body tightening for the second time, releasing like clouds unfolding to a bright day. I make Brittany shudder and mew three times, just because._

* * *

><p><em>"Quinn had her baby," Mercedes says. <em>

_ The whole club practically deflates. _

_ "Are they both okay?" Mr. Schue asks. _

_ "Baby and momma are both okay," Mercedes nods. "She's six pounds, exactly."_

_ Tina coos while everyone else smiles. _

_ I'm happy. I guess. Happy for Quinn that she got that child out of her stomach. _

_ "I can't believe it," Brittany whispers. _

_ I look at her. The gold dress is hugging her body in all the right ways. _

_ "What?" I whisper. _

_ Something starts to squeak and I see Tina pushing Artie out of the waiting room. Mike and Matt are starting to leave too. _

_ "That she had her baby," she says, her voice airy. _

_ "She's been pregnant for nine months, Britt."_

_ Mercedes walks back toward, what I assume, is where Quinn's room is. Mr. Schue is pulling out his phone. _

_ "I know. It's still amazing."_

_ I nod because there's not much else I can do. There's not much else I want to do. Brittany's sitting, long legs crossed, starring out across the waiting room. _

_ Is it bad that I'm horny?_

_ No, it can't be. Brittany always makes me horny. _

_ The way her hair tickles over her neck...the skin so firm and sensitive...her fingers curled, resting in her lap...collar bone protruding in the slightest, defining her shoulders and helping create the triangle that leads to her cleavage. _

_ Brittany's sexy. Which translates to sex...one way or another. _

_ Blue eyes shine as she turns to me. Fuck, I'm starring. But she smiles and shrugs her shoulders. _

_ "Are you ready to go?" she asks. _

_ No. Yes. _

_ Everyone else has left the waiting room. Mr. Schue is still on his phone, but lingering around the water fountains. I don't know who he's talking to...maybe Ms. Pilsbury...or maybe his wife, ex-wife? I don't know. I don't know why he even thinks he needs to stay here. _

_ "Do you want to see Quinn?" _

_ Brittany's eyes bulge. It's like the possibility didn't occur to her. _

_ "Uh."_

_ I smirk because Brittany may not think of things all the time, but she definitely goes along if it's a good idea. _

_ This is a fantastic idea. _

_ "Come on!" I tug her up and down the hall Mercedes went down. _

_ Usually the white walls of hospitals make everything feel dirty. As we walk down the hall, peering into rooms as subtly as we can, the white of the place makes everything feel like a blank slate. It's nice. Like everyone who comes in will leave being able to fix what they messed up or run their life in a completely new direction. Maybe Quinn's baby will be able to grow up without being stuck in this shit town. _

_ "Here!" Brittany squeaked, pulling me into a room on the left side of the hallway. _

_ "What are you doing here?"_

_ My smile slips right off my face. Quinn's mom (_Ms. _Fabray now?) is standing, glaring at us. _

_ "Oh—um."_

_ "Mom it's fine," Quinn hisses. _

_ God, she looks likes shit. Her hair is a mess, all sweaty and stuck to her neck. She looks exhausted, too. I'm surprised she isn't passed out. _

_ "Sorry," Brittany mumbles. "We should have asked first."_

_ Quinn rolls her eyes. _

_ I can't help my smirk. She has enough energy to be bitchy even after pushing a baby out of her lady parts. _

_ "It's fine," Quinn says, flopping back. _

_ Ms. Fabray looks uncomfortable. She keeps wringing her hands. I guess it makes sense when you're used to having a partner next to you for years. When they're suddenly gone it must be hard, awkward. Mr. Fabray was _always_ around Ms. Fabray. Always someone to talk to, look to when you didn't know what to do. _

_ No wonder Quinn's boy obsessed. Her mom was her dad's bitch. And the apple doesn't fall far from that fucked up tree. _

_ "I'll just...I'll go see if Mercedes has a ride home," Ms. Fabray blubbers, leaving the room. _

_ That's when I see the baby isn't here, or Puck. It's just Quinn. _

_ Brittany smiles really big as she walks around to the bedside. _

_ "Is everyone still here?" Quinn's voice sounds weak. _

_ "Everyone's starting to leave," Brittany shakes her head. _

_ Quinn nods, closing her eyes, sighing loudly. Even her breathing sounds tired. _

_ Brittany sits down in one of the chairs and pats the one next to her. I sit down. _

_ It feels a little weird. Without Puck, Mercedes, her mother, or her _baby_..._

_ Quinn yawns, sounding long and drawn out like a sigh, and thick. _

_ Brittany yawns too, creating a chain-effect as I yawn. Then she reaches down to pull off her heels, tucking one leg under herself. It feels like we're going to be sitting here for a while so I take off my head band and pull my hair back in a bun. All the hair spray and product making it feel super dirty. _

_As I lean back, Quinn shifts and Brittany rests her head on her hand. __Puck comes in a minute later, deciding that _Beth_ is the most beautiful baby ever._

* * *

><p><strong>So that was a little short. But the next chapter is coming very soon! Sorry about that killer cliff hanger...it will be resolved. In other news, I love everyone who's reviewd, alertedfollowed, and favorited! You make my day! Tell me what you think about this one. I was hoping I could mix in the...theme?...I guess. What do you think the theme is here? I'd love to hear your thoughts!**

**xxRose**


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